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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29833140">in my hands</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sol_de_aurum/pseuds/sol_de_aurum'>sol_de_aurum</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>in my hands [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(also eventually), (eventually) - Freeform, Adrinette, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth Identity Reveal, Hawk Moth is Gabriel Agreste, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, LadyNoir - Freeform, Marichat, Slow Burn, no critical thinking skills just vibes, not canon compliant as of season four, there’s a minor oc but i promise i tried to make her unobtrusive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:21:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>43,562</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29833140</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sol_de_aurum/pseuds/sol_de_aurum</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Years into being guardian of the Miracle Box, Marinette is burnt out as ever. Under the stress of school, keeping Hawk Moth at bay, and trying to excel in her new apprenticeship, she bubbles over and tells Chat the thing that’s eating at her: her relationship. Now, Marinette has to learn how to sit back, lay out the puzzle pieces, and fit everything together once and for all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir &amp; Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>in my hands [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2230059</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey, it’s been about a month since i posted this chapter and i want to say i used this akumatization of kagami because it fit the best with her motives compared to her other ones but i feel very strongly the writers should NOT have named her that. it’s been bugging me because i see this every time i scroll through the doc and i just want to put this out there: i tried to use the name as little as possible and would have used one of the others if i thought it fit. i honestly regret this decision but i’m going to leave it. </p><p>thank you! if you’re new i hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Marinette felt Mme. Bourreau’s eyes on the back of her head as she worked, burning holes in her hair. The sensation, feeling as if she was being judged by thousands, certainly wasn’t new, not a year into this, but as Marinette struggled to find the cause of several rouches and a weird tightness in the armpit of the dress, it couldn’t have been less welcome. Maybe a less stubborn version of Marinette in some alternate universe was admitting she needed guidance. Not this Marinette. </p><p> </p><p><em> Come </em> on<em>, </em> she urged internally, <em> just lay flat. I know you can do it</em>. She turned and gave a sheepish grin to Mme Bourreau, eyes closed so she wouldn’t have to meet the gaze of the goddess of scrutiny. </p><p> </p><p>It took almost three more minutes of Marinette desperately taking measurements, tugging on the fabric, and nervously turning the seam ripper around in her hand before Mme. Bourreau spoke. </p><p> </p><p>“You are not prohibited from asking for help, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I know,”  Marinette said with that same smile and a timid laugh, “I… I think I can figure it out.”</p><p> </p><p>“You will have to choose a seam to undo or start over.” Marinette could hear her mentor’s heels on the floor as she walked over to survey the garment on the mannequin. </p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t stop a little strangled sound from leaving her throat. Of course she had to find these mistakes in the blouse <em> after </em> attaching the bodice’s accoutrements and lining up the skirt. “Which one?” </p><p> </p><p>“You tell me,” Mme Bourreau said. Her perfume smelled of honeysuckle and intimidation. </p><p> </p><p><em>Seriously? </em> “Well, I was thinking it would have to be a side seam, because the problems are all around the shoulders, but it feels wrong to throw off the symmetry, so maybe both?”</p><p> </p><p>“You are thinking too far ahead. Look at your patterns. If you cannot find your error there, I want you to go back to drafting and bring the finished garment to me in two days.” </p><p> </p><p>“Do you know what the problem is?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng. I will not tell you, though; this is a good experience for you to learn to sit back on your heels and assess before you plan.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette bit her lip to keep from laughing. Maybe she should call Chat over so he could learn this lesson too. </p><p> </p><p>Mme. Bourreau continued on. “You must remember you have all of the pieces of the puzzle in front of you. You have everything you need to finish it. Remedy your mistakes, and I want you to tell me what you did wrong when you see me next. Have a good day, Marinette.”</p><p> </p><p>As soon as she heard the door to the workroom close behind Mme. Bourreau, Marinette sat on the table, looped her arms across the shoulders of the mannequin, and rested the top of her head on its immobile chest. </p><p> </p><p>“Tough day, princess?” A voice said from the window, making Marinette jump and fall from the table, almost bringing down the dress and a bolt of green fabric. Crouched on the window was the black cat himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Chat!” Marinette squeaked. “Maybe knock next time?”</p><p> </p><p>“How am I supposed to sneak up on you if I knock?” He jumped across the table and held out a hand to her. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re inventive, I bet you could manage,” she mumbled, taking his hand and pulling herself up. “What are you doing here? I didn’t even know you knew I worked here.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t. I was passing by and saw my favorite girl looking worse for wear. Your boss seems hard on you,” Chat said, wandering over to the old, ratty chaise lounge in the corner.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s more like a teacher, and it’s sort of her job to be hard on me. This,” Marinette said, gesturing to the top of the dress, “is worthy of criticism. I’m not sure what went wrong yet but it shouldn’t look like that at all.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing Marinette Dupain-Cheng can’t handle.” He grinned at her.</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe you’re right.” She held the fabric of the sleeves for a second, before looking back up at him. “Why are you out and suited up in the middle of the day? Was there an akuma?” Marinette painted an expression of concern on her face, knowing full well that Ladybug wasn’t out roaming the streets either and there’s no way Chat cleansed an akuma without her. </p><p> </p><p>“It was a false alarm.” <em> You little liar</em>, Marinette thought as she listened to Chat, holding back a smile. “Figured I’d do some patrolling before going back.” </p><p> </p><p>She read him like a book. He needed an out from whatever he was doing as Civilian Noir and figured if nobody could find him, he’d get some time to himself. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t have to know she knew, though.</p><p> </p><p>“I can barely remember what it was like before you and Ladybug were watching over Paris,” Marinette said.</p><p> </p><p>“Me too.” Marinette had her eyes on the dress but her attention on Chat, and she could see him rest his head back and stare at the ceiling, dopey smile  on his face. The Ladybug within her braced for some cheesy compliment about how he didn’t know he could live without her, but he didn’t see Ladybug. He saw Marinette. </p><p> </p><p>And somehow, the fact that he was talking to Marinette led him to say what he said next.</p><p> </p><p>“Can I be honest with you?” He asked, turning his head toward her. She could see him anyway, but she looked up from what she was doing and met his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p> </p><p>“Lately, I’ve been thinking. As much as I hate Hawk Moth, I can’t help but be grateful.”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you met her?” </p><p> </p><p>Chat nodded. “I know it’s horrible. He puts people in danger multiple times a week. He’s almost killed me. He’s almost killed her.” A grimace. “I’ll never forgive him. I don’t know how I could. But I don’t know how I’d make it through without knowing I had a partner like Ladybug.”</p><p> </p><p>Guilt. Waves of guilt began to crash in her stomach, lapping at her throat and burning her esophagus, and not just because she knew it was fruitless for him to pine after Ladybug. </p><p> </p><p>“You’ve had a boyfriend for a while now, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t credit Hawk Moth, but, yes. It’s been a few years.”<em> Years</em>. <em> Where the hell has the time gone?</em></p><p> </p><p>“I think you get what I mean, then, supervillain or not.” He turned his head back to look at the ceiling, and Marinette’s relief that she didn’t have to put on a lovestruck face to fool him. She certainly had practice looking dumb in love, but that was where the problem was. </p><p> </p><p>She had come to terms a long time ago with Adrien’s lack of romantic interest in her. It wasn’t his fault. She couldn’t stop the daydreams about him or the feeling in her chest around him, but she let go of the hope that one day he’d wake up and fall in love with the girl behind the Ladybug mask without even making the connection. It just wasn’t in the cards for them. It couldn’t be, not after this much time.</p><p> </p><p>Being with Luka was easier than filling up journals with ideas for hamster names. He was cute and he loved her, and she loved being loved. She loved being that important to somebody as Marinette. At some point, though, after exchanging the words “I love you” a million times, it started to fall into place that contentment wasn’t love. She loved Adrien and it felt like a living creature in her ribs, breathing and bleeding and flying around. Chat loved Ladybug like he was the ocean and she was the moon, pushing and pulling him and working in synchronicity. She thought she loved Luka, and then that illusion fell apart. </p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>“Ready?” Luka had called from the other part of the cabin. </p><p> </p><p>Marinette had been crouched on the floor in front of the mirror, bucking the ankle strap of her shoes. “I’ll be just a second! Are Adrien and Kagami here?” </p><p> </p><p>“Not yet. For a couple of rich kids raised on proper etiquette, they’re not super punctual.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, young love,” Marinette said with a snicker, meeting him in the hallway and letting him snake his arm around her waist. </p><p> </p><p>“You look beautiful,” he said quietly, and when she turned her head to look up at him, she recognized the emotion in his eyes. She usually saw it in a pair of green ones. </p><p> </p><p>“Not too beautiful, hopefully, I don’t want Chloe to think she’s being outshined.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, before we go outshine her, I have something for you.” Luka let go of her and grabbed his guitar case from inside the door. </p><p> </p><p>“I thought you found that perfect melody last June,” she said, following him as he set it on a table and opened it up. The guitar inside was actually hanging in his room, so the case was empty barring a blue box the size of Marinette’s palm. </p><p> </p><p>“I know your earrings are important to you, but I think you deserve a second pair, for occasions like these.” He held out the box to her and her insides dropped.</p><p> </p><p>If luck felt kind, he wouldn’t have expected her to put them on, or maybe they’d have just looked just like her black studs and she could swap them when he wasn’t looking. Not even Ladybug was that lucky (since first saying this, Marinette had decided Ladybug was not, in fact, very lucky. Being good at your job is one thing, but if you have to hide your identities from both your boyfriend and partner, “lucky” isn’t the word Marinette would choose).</p><p> </p><p>They were thin, dangly earrings with little clusters of red and pink gemstones in the shape of roses. They went with her blouse. And her pants. This is what she got for having a boyfriend who sat in her room and practiced his guitar while she made clothes. <em> It’s just one evening</em>, she told herself, hoping Tikki could hear her thoughts from her bag. </p><p> </p><p>“They’re beautiful,” she gasped. They were. They also meant she’d be unprepared if an akuma struck Chloe’s party, and she might have to explain to somebody why the most important thing for her to do during a villain’s rampage was put new earrings in, but she took a deep breath and set the box down so she could exchange her earrings. <em> Don’t worry, Tikki,</em> Marinette thought as she slipped her Miraculous into her bag, giving her visibly incredulous kwami a small smile, <em> this isn’t like that photo shoot. I won’t let my bag leave my side.</em></p><p> </p><p>“They suit you,” Luka said, pulling her in for a kiss after she got them on.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” she murmured between kisses. She wasn’t panicking. Everything would go fine tonight. The most volatile girl in Paris may have been throwing a party in her own honor, but everybody else was happy to see her leave or happy to see her with a genuine ambition (if moving to New York to spend all her time feeling better than everybody else in museums and theaters was a genuine ambition). </p><p> </p><p>The soft reverie of the moment drifted away when Marinette’s phone rang. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s probably Alya,” she said, pulling away and stepping out onto the ship’s deck to answer. “Hey, Alya, we’re just about to leave.”</p><p> </p><p>“Great! Nino and I are almost at the hotel. I was just calling to see if Adrien was with you guys. Nino’s having a little trouble getting in contact with him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, no, not yet. You know Adrien, though, he’s almost as late as me sometimes!” Marinette laughed. <em> Not Kagami, though. Something is up</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“That is a high bar, girl, you know that,” Alya said through the phone. “You’re probably right, he and Kagami might just be making out behind some bushes while they’re free of his bodyguard.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette snorted. “I’ll text him to make sure.” She stepped back into the cabin. “Luka and I are heading out now, we’ll see you in a few.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. I trust you. Bye, babe!” Alya hung up. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on?” </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, nothing. Nino’s not getting a response from Adrien, so he and Kagami are probably already there and just forgot they were meeting us,” Marinette said, entwining her hand with his. “I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.” </p><p> </p><p>That second part was a lie, a bald faced lie, but if Luka could tell, he didn’t show it.</p><p> </p><p>“Bye, kids!” The captain poked her head up from a trapdoor Marinette didn’t even realize was on the deck. </p><p> </p><p>“Bye, mom,” Luka called back to her, and Marinette gave her a smile and a wave over her shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>The party, unsurprisingly, <em> screamed </em> Chloe. Marinette almost forgot she was in charge of planning it when she saw the banner that said “Goodbye, Chloe!”</p><p> </p><p>It went almost exactly as expected until Marinette noticed Nathalie, Gabriel-Agreste-video-chat tablet and all, facilitating a conversation between M. Agreste and Mayor Bourgeois. <em> Adrien</em>. He still hadn’t shown. </p><p> </p><p>Marinette checked her phone, hoping to see a text from him about being late or changing his plans and getting nothing of the sort. </p><p> </p><p>“Did Adrien and Kagami ever arrive? I haven’t seen them yet,” she asked Luka, who just shook his head. Alya and Nino hadn’t seen them either. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna call them,” Marinette said, pulling her phone out and slipping away. She didn’t dare cast a second glance back at Luka, because when she did the first time, she saw something on his face. He knew something she didn’t want to accept yet. </p><p> </p><p>“Fine,” she muttered to herself, “I’ll call Kagami first.” </p><p> </p><p>The phone rang once, twice, six times against her ear before saying, “Kagami. Leave a message.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, it’s Marinette. Are you guys coming to Chloe’s going away party? We miss you here. I’m going to try calling Adrien, too. I hope everything is okay. Call me back,” Marinette said. </p><p> </p><p>Adrien’s line rang. Once. Twice. Three times. Four times. Fi—</p><p> </p><p>“Marinette?” </p><p> </p><p>“Adrien! Is everything okay? We were expecting to meet you and Kagami at Luka’s and meet at the party. She’s not answering her phone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, I don’t think Kagami is coming after all,” he said. “I… I could probably make it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I’m so sorry. I hope she’s feeling okay. You should definitely come! Chloe would hate for you to miss it, and I think Paris deserves its last night with her to be akuma-free.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Yeah, it does. Uh. I’ll be there in a few minutes. I want to talk to you about something.” He sounded sad. Marinette couldn’t help but read into it, but she pushed all of her assumptions and theories to the back of her mind. <em> Another day</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure! Can’t wait to see you,” Marinette chirped, hanging up the phone before staring for a second too long at the picture of Adrien behind the words “Call Ended.” As she pulled open the door to the ballroom, Luka was pushing it open. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey. Everything okay with them?” He asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I think—actually, I’m not sure. Kagami can’t make it, but Adrien is on his way. He didn’t say why.” Marinette looped her arm through Luka’s and pulled him back into the party. A few minutes later, Marinette’s conversation with Alya was interrupted by Chloe’s shriek of “<em>Adrikins!”</em></p><p> </p><p>He was in his usual clothing. <em> He really wasn’t planning on coming, was he? </em>Something was weird. Something was going on, and Marinette had to wait and see if Adrien was going to tell her or if she had to drag him away from the party and make sure he was alright.</p><p> </p><p>Chloe fussed over him for a while, and he and Nino spent a few minutes talking, but Adrien hadn’t been long there at all before coming up to Marinette, greeting Luka, and asking if he could talk to her for a while. Maybe in the hall or a different room.</p><p> </p><p>They ended up sitting face to face on opposite sides of the hall where she had called him. </p><p> </p><p>“Something’s going on with you,” Marinette said. It wasn’t an accusation, just an observation. She set her purse next to her and pulled her knees up.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” Adrien scratched the back of his head. “I need some advice.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure, go ahead.”</p><p> </p><p>“Say that… say that a guy is in a relationship with this girl. She’s been into him since they met, and he thought he was over somebody when they started dating, but the girl he thought he was over is somebody he works with almost every day.</p><p> </p><p>“For a while, it was fine, and he was able to be happy in his relationship without changing anything about his par- about his friendship with his coworker, but then he started realizing things. He and his girlfriend thought they would work because they’re so similar,” Adrien said. <em> You can drop the hypothetical</em>, Marinette thought, but she kept her mouth shut.</p><p> </p><p>“But he’s not exactly who she thinks he is.” <em> Oh. What? </em> “He has to be a different person for some of the work he does, and he started realizing that when he acts differently, it isn’t an act. He’s not really like her, not deep down, and he never developed the same intense feelings as her.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s not like the girl from work, either, but the two of them just fit. They have to. It’s what they do, and it works for them, but it doesn’t really work for him and his girlfriend. Honestly, if he could, he’d have been dating the girl from work a long time ago, but it… it doesn’t work like that. </p><p> </p><p>“Thing is, his girlfriend doesn’t agree. He’s tried to talk about it with her, slowing down and maybe getting a little less serious, but that only makes her hold tighter. A lot of people hold him tightly in place. It isn’t fun.” <em> Why didn’t I notice? I thought the three of us were close.</em> “So I need your opinion. Would the guy be a total asshole for breaking up with her?”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette was shaking her head before he finished asking the question. “No. A relationship should be balanced. If one person isn’t as in love as the other, and they’re unhappy in the relationship, I think it’s more fair to break it off before it ends in flames.” She gave him a sad smile, for his sake.</p><p> </p><p>“If you’re not happy, you deserve to be able to leave and find that for yourself. Plus, it sounds like you really like this girl from work.” She gave him a sad smile, for herself.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think you should push it if you can’t be together, but if you let it happen, maybe it will fade away without you trying to put somebody else between you. Maybe she’ll even return your affections.”</p><p> </p><p>“After three years? I doubt it.” Adrien let out a cold laugh. “Well, I’m glad I made the right choice.” </p><p> </p><p>“I think it’s the right thing to do. Kagami’s not going to be- wait. Made?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. We were getting ready for the party. It’s why she isn’t here. She’s, uh, she’s not too happy about it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, my god, Adrien, I am so sorry.” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine, I-” He was cut off by Marinette crawling over and sitting beside him so she could wrap her arms around him. </p><p> </p><p>“I shouldn’t have made you come here. I’m so sorry. I can tell people you had to go home.” </p><p> </p><p>He kept his hands on her shoulders as she pulled away to look at him. “No, seriously, Marinette, I’m glad I’m here. Beats sitting in my room wallowing. I’d rather be here, with you and all our friends. I’ll be okay. I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while. It’s what was supposed to happen.” He gave her a watery smile before wrapping his arms around her again.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” he whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, am I interrupting something?” Alya asked. She was standing in the doorway holding three macarons in each hand.</p><p> </p><p>“No, you’re fine,” Adrien said, pulling away and resting his head against the wall.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette could feel her face going red, so she stood up and brushed off her trousers. Alya looked at them expectantly. </p><p> </p><p>“You can tell her. I’m just going to sit here for a minute before coming back in,” Adrien told Marinette.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me what? Do I need to get Luka?” Alya made a suggestive expression at Marinette, one that fell as soon as Marinette spoke.</p><p> </p><p>“He just broke up with Kagami,” Marinette said bluntly. “She’s not going to come.”</p><p> </p><p>Alya looked dumbfounded. “Adrien, I am so, so sorry. That must hurt.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” was the only thing Adrien responded with. </p><p> </p><p>The rest of the evening was stilted, but Chloe didn’t seem to notice. A slow song came on, and Marinette rested her forehead on Luka’s shoulder. She didn’t really feel like looking at him. Echoing in the back of her mind were her own words. <em> “If one person isn’t as in love as the other, I think it’s fair to break it off.” </em> That wasn’t her and Luka, right? She loved him. Maybe not <em> quite </em> as much as he loved her, but they were happy. Right? </p><p> </p><p><em> I mean, he treats me well, and he doesn’t remind me of Adrien or Chat, and he’s cool. What’s not to love? This is love. Just because I’m not infatuated like I was with Adrien doesn’t mean I </em> don’t <em> love him. This is what real love feels like.</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette was pulled from her thoughts, literally, when she heard a window shatter behind her and felt a clawed hand pull her to the ground from behind. </p><p> </p><p>“I know you told him to break up with me,” the akuma growled. Marinette whirled around to see who it was.</p><p> </p><p>Oni-chan stared down at her,, sword glowing and eyes narrowed in contempt. </p><p> </p><p>“Kagami, wait! Your relationship is your business, and I wouldn’t interfere because it’s not up to me to decide-”</p><p> </p><p>“Silence!” She roared, pointing her bokken at Marinette. “My name isn’t Kagami anymore. Now <em> where </em> is my boyfriend?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know!” Marinette yelped, covering her face with her hands. Someone behind her grabbed her arm and pulled her up, running with her from the akuma. </p><p> </p><p>“Luka, wait!”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re getting out of here. I won’t let you get hurt,” he said, slipping his hand down to hers and pulling her out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>“What about our friends? She’s going after Adrien and I’m pretty sure she’s not planning on kissing and making up,” she said, keeping hold of his hand but stopping in place. </p><p> </p><p>“Please, Marinette, let’s go. Ladybug and Chat Noir will take care of this.”</p><p> </p><p><em> He’s not going to let me be alone if I go with him. </em> “I’m sorry. You should get out of here. I’ll call you when everybody’s safe.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette didn’t let him argue, running into a service corridor and slipping into a different hallway, hoping to find a bathroom in the giant hotel. Her hand went to clutch her purse, so she could talk to Tikki and get her earrings out, but it wasn’t there. <em> I left it in the hallway when Adrien pulled me aside! </em> </p><p> </p><p>She had to go back the way she came, but right before she rounded a corner to go back through the service hallway, she heard familiar footsteps. <em> Go, Luka, get out of here.</em> She ducked into a closet off of the corridor, thanking whoever’s upstairs for its tinted window. </p><p> </p><p>Marinette had her hand clasped over her mouth as she watched Luka run past her, and when he was almost out of earshot, she heard him call her name. She was too panicked to feel sorry for him. </p><p> </p><p><em>Shit, </em>the hallway Luka pulled her into was across the ballroom from the one where her purse was, is it was even still there, and Oni-chan was taking lazy circles around the room, calling Adrien’s name and slicing furniture in half as she passed.</p><p> </p><p>She watched through the window, helplessly trying to plan, as Chat Noir burst into the room and began to fight Kagami. Now there was no way she could get across unseen. </p><p> </p><p>She stepped away from the door, took a deep breath, and burst through the door, drawing both gazes. “Fine, Kagami! I told him to break up with you! I was jealous of how in love you two were and convinced him to leave you!”</p><p> </p><p>“Marinette!” Chat yelled as he jumped toward her, pushing her out of the way of one of Onii-chan’s strikes.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll distract her,” Marinette whispered. “My purse is in that hallway. It has something I need.”</p><p> </p><p>“You need to get out of here. Ladybug will be here any minute,” he told her under his breath.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m serious. Please? It’s really, really important.”</p><p> </p><p>Chat looked at her for a second, searching her eyes, before releasing his arm around her and vaulting across the room. </p><p> </p><p>“Looking for me?” Marinette taunted, grabbing half a chair and hurtling it over towards the akuma, who sliced it in half.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re going to pay. Not even your precious Ladybug can save you now.” She knocked Marinette off her feet, towering over her once again.</p><p> </p><p>“I can, though!” Chat called across, hitting her over the head with his staff and tossing Marinette her purse. </p><p> </p><p>Marinette scrambled out of the room and ran as far as she could down the hallway while removing her dangly earrings. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Tikki, I thought tonight would be uneventful. This is why I should listen to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re absolutely right, you should listen to me.” Tikki held out the Miraculous, and Marinette suited up just around the corner.</p><p> </p><p>“Marinette? Marinette?!” She heard Luka calling. </p><p> </p><p><em> Shit, shit, shit</em>. “Your girlfriend is safe,” Ladybug said, rounding the corner. “Get out of here. Chat Noir and I can handle this from here.”</p><p> </p><p>Luka blinked at her. “Okay. Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>If she went right back through the door, Adrien could put together that she’s Ladybug. Fuck. Okay. </p><p> </p><p>Ladybug kicked down the door to a hotel room and sighed in relief when it was empty. From the balcony, she climbed up the building and stood on the glass dome above the ballroom. Her yo-yo broke through the glass and wrapped itself around the wrist holding Onii’s weapon with a flick of her hand, and she came flying down into the hotel.</p><p> </p><p>“Welcome to the party, my lady.”</p><p> </p><p>“Evening, kitty,” she said as her heels met the forearm the akuma flung up to defend herself. The masked fighter fell to the ground, but rolled over herself and was right back up in less than a second. </p><p> </p><p>Ladybug and Chat were only getting better as time passed. Sometimes, it felt like control of the Miracle Box didn’t matter when they were such a tight team. She knew better, of course, it was a massively important power at their disposal, but everything went so smoothly with the two of them. Fighting alone, though occasionally necessary, felt so wrong.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think it’s in her sword this time!” Chat told her. </p><p> </p><p>“Where is it?”</p><p> </p><p>“There’s a rose pinned to her chest. I bet it’s there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good eye, chaton,” Ladybug said, diving out of the way of an attack. “You might need to grab it from behind. I’ll hold her attention. Lucky Charm!”</p><p> </p><p>A finger trap the size of her arm fell into Ladybug’s hands, and with a little time, taunting, and wall-climbing, she managed to secure Kagami’s weapon in the trap with her left arm.</p><p> </p><p>Chat leapt into action, snatching the flower from her chest and tearing it in half. </p><p> </p><p>“Do me a favor and open this?” Ladybug held out the yo-yo to Chat.</p><p> </p><p>“I’d do anything for you, darling,” Chat purred, swiping it open for her. </p><p> </p><p>Once the akuma was cleansed, Ladybug had to use her right hand and a leg to hold the trap so she could free herself and bump Chat’s awaiting fist. </p><p> </p><p>“What’s going on?” Kagami, sitting on the floor in a black dress and tear stains. </p><p> </p><p>“You were akumatized again,” Ladybug said. She held out a hand to help Kagami up. “I heard about why. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>Kagami looked at her for a second before pushing herself up without taking Ladybug’s hand. “Thank you. I... I need to leave.”</p><p> </p><p>As soon as she was gone, Chat took a step to stand at Ladybug’s side. “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“Her boyfriend broke up with her a little while ago. She thought it was working out. He knew it wasn’t.” Ladybug shrugged. “It’s how these things go sometimes, as much as it sucks. I just hope she knows it hurts to be on either side of that.”</p><p> </p><p>Chat stared at her for a second. “Yeah. Yeah, it does.”</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug turned to head out and inform everybody everything was sorted, but before she could move, Chat grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a hug, his head buried in her shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, what’s this about?” She asked, slowly and lightly wrapping her arms around him.</p><p> </p><p>“Long day. Hard day, too.” He was silent for a second. “I am so grateful for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug didn’t know what to say. This felt different than his usual flirting. “I… I’m grateful for you, too.” </p><p> </p><p>She felt him tighten his grip on her. “You should get some rest, kitty. I need to get out of here before everybody gets an eyeful of the girl behind the mask.”</p><p> </p><p>He let go and smiled down at her, and Ladybug felt him watch her step out through the window and swing off into Paris’s night sky.</p><p> </p><p>She landed in an alley not too far from home to transform back and ran in to find her parents worried, phones to their ears. She pulled her phone from her bag and saw that they were both calling her at once. </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry. I think I turned it off for the party and got too focused on getting out of there. I almost got stuck in a dumbwaiter,” Marinette joked, letting her parents pull her in for a hug. </p><p> </p><p>Finally falling into bed, she ran over the afternoon and evening in her mind like she was running her hands through her hair until she ran into a snag. She’d been in three boys’ embraces.</p><p> </p><p>One of them felt exactly as she’d expect it to. Her partner, her other half, had held on to her for support and comfort, and that’s what she got from it too, if a little differently. They were a dynamic duo. That’s just how it is. </p><p> </p><p>One of them didn’t surprise her, but it just seemed to be proof in the case of Heart v. Brain: Marinette will never, ever get over Adrien. It felt warm and soft and under different circumstances, Marinette was pretty sure she would have melted. The fact that she wasn’t going to act on it and that he would never want her back in the same way was the lotion she rubbed on the burning guilt at the fact she was in a relationship and felt this was about somebody other than her boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>Her boyfriend. The one who held her the longest today and the one who caught her off guard. She didn’t feel anything but worry holding him at the party, swaying with him to the music, worry for Adrien and Kagami, worry for what would happen if she couldn’t switch her earrings, worry about what Hawk Moth was planning, worry for why her chest didn’t get tight and fluttery around Luka anymore. </p><p> </p><p>Why couldn’t her <em> stupid </em> heart just fall for the one who loved her? Why could she do everything that being in love constituted, the smiling and the kissing and the laughing and the compliments and the sex, except for feel the love the way she felt it for Adrien, the way she felt lying on the rain on the streets of New York when he didn’t even know she was there, saying “I love you” to the taillights she saw in the distance. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “If one person isn’t as in love as the other, and they’re unhappy in the relationship, I think it’s more fair to break it off before it ends in flames.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Either she was wrong, and she gave her friend shitty advice, or she was right and lying to herself. <em> No. No, I </em> am <em> happy with Luka. Just because I don’t love him doesn’t mean I don’t like him. Nothing hurts about this, not for me and not for him. Adrien didn’t want to stay in that relationship; I do. I’ll leave if I need to but… </em></p><p> </p><p>“I see you thinking. What’s wrong, Marinette?” Tikki flew up from where she had been laying on Marinette’s pillow.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, Tikki, I… I think I might not really love Luka.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Marinette. You just have to tell him.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t tell him! What we have works so well, and I don’t want him to think I’m leaving him for Adrien now that he’s single.” Marinette sighed. “Maybe my love for him will just have to be intentional.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t like that you’re lying to somebody who cares about you that much. He deserves better.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know. I’m sorry. I just don’t know what else to do,” Marinette said, turning on her side. “I think I should focus on my work for a little while, on fighting Hawk Moth and getting through school. Luka and I can be on the back burner… simmering.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m worried it will blow up in your face.” </p><p> </p><p>“Lots of things blow up in my face. It’s an occupational hazard,” Marinette said with a giggle. </p><p> </p><p>“You know what I mean!” Tikki insisted. “Maybe you should just get some rest.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think you’re right.” Marinette had drifted off, awash in sleep and anxieties.</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>“You were honest with me. Can I be honest with you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, chérie.” </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t… I don’t feel that way about Luka.”</p><p> </p><p>She watched him for a second, but he didn’t have anything to say yet, so she ducked her head down.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t feel about him the way you feel about Ladybug,” Marinette said, staring at the silky fabric in her hands. “You two… I know she insists it’s not romantic, but you’re so close. You stick with her and fight by her side even when she refuses to see you the way you see her. You’re partners, a match set, and I feel like if I’m honest with Luka about the way I feel, we wouldn’t be able to stay friends at all because of the fact that what I’m doing now is dishonest.</p><p> </p><p>“I feel so awful about it, because just because I don’t love him like I should, it doesn’t mean he isn’t so important to me.” The words coming out of her mouth sounded choppy and hoarse to her ears, and it was only when she saw a tear fall on the sleeve of the dress did she realize she was crying. “I care about him so much. So, so much. He’s always been there for me, and I repaid his love and kindness by looking him in the eyes and lying to him about the way I feel.”</p><p> </p><p>Chat was in front of her in a second, moving the mannequin aside and silently taking hold of her shaking hands. </p><p> </p><p>“Even worse…” Marinette said as she started to sob, trying to force words out between ragged breaths. “Even worse, I started dating him because I thought it would help me get over somebody else. I feel like I’m using him but I’m too afraid of what it would mean if I stopped.” She inhaled unsteadily and turned her head up to look Chat in the eyes. Her wonderful, loving Chat. </p><p> </p><p>“I kept telling myself f-for months that it would be easier if I… if I let our relationship run its natural course until one of us ha-had reason to leave.” Marinette hiccuped and forgot how to care about how she looked to Chat right now. He was looking at her so kindly. She had almost thought he’d be mad at her for doing this, but shivering and crying in front of him made it so painfully obvious to her that there was no other option for him but caring.</p><p> </p><p>“A… a friend of mine was in a similar si-situation a while back, a-and he let go of his girlfriend be-because he was unhappy and didn’t feel the same way. I h-heard him say these th-things and figured that, um, that because I was happy it, you know, wasn’t wrong to stay, but… but I think I wasn’t happy. I think I, um, I think I was just coasting and bracing myself to crash into a tree.”</p><p> </p><p>“Marinette.”</p><p> </p><p>“The only w-way I sleep at night is working hard during the day, but I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” she choked out.</p><p> </p><p>”Marinette, look at me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry for putting this on you. I’m so sorry, Chat. I’m hurting him, I’m hurting myself, and now I’m giving that hurt to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Marinette!” He dropped her hands and grabbed her face, holding her so she looked back at him. “Listen to me. You are doing the best you can. You are one of the kindest people I know, and you got stuck like this because you thought you were doing the kind thing.” </p><p> </p><p>Marinette’s mouth fell open. Chat leaned in and put his forehead against hers, letting his eyes close as he spoke to her.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s ok that you didn’t know this would happen. You need to rip off the band-aid, but  I know you aren’t ready yet. That’s okay. It will all be okay in the end, my princess, and what is most important to me is that you make it out of this as whole as you can. Do you understand?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I think so,” Marinette said with a deep, shaking breath.</p><p> </p><p>“Good.” Chat kissed her forehead and used his thumbs to wipe the tears from beneath her eyes before letting his hands drop and stepping away. “I need to get going, but don’t be afraid to call me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t have your number.” Marinette swallowed her tears down and looked at him with what she hoped were bright eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“I meant in the classical sense. Get up on that balcony of yours and call my name,” he said with one of his lopsided half-grin half-smirks. “Oh. Try opening up the back and going with a puffier sheer sleeve. If you make the cuffs long enough and tight enough, and you add some sort of satin detail on the interior of the sleeve, you’ll get the same elegance without trying to work all of that fabric into sitting nicely there.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wha- how do you-?”</p><p> </p><p>“Au revoir, Marinette!” He jumped out of the still open window and Marinette watched as he vaulted away through the streets of Paris.</p><p> </p><p>“Since when did Chat Noir care about clothing?” Marinette asked Tikki, who was in her bag and just shrugged. </p><p> </p><p>“Well,” she said, assessing the back of the dress, “I don’t think he was wrong. Who knew he had an eye for this?” </p><p> </p><p>“I have to admit, Marinette, it was sort of satisfying to hear Chat Noir give the same advice as me, but I am a little offended that <em> he’s </em> the one you listened to!”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, Tikki,” Marinette said with a giggle as her kwami flew around her head. “You guys are right, though. I need to end things with Luka, for his sake and for mine.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hey sexy! i do not speak french, so i’m telling you right now that while i am not using french terms of affection and titles like mme, m, and mlle SPARINGLY, i am using them ignorantly. i figure it’s enough like spanish. </p><p>i just want to say i am a big fan of luka, i love his character, but i don’t like the role he plays in the story so i will be moving him out of that role. a similar sentiment applies to kagami. </p><p>a fix-it for things that haven’t happened yet. </p><p>xoxo - gold sun</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Okay, Tikki, you’re me. How do you break up with Luka?” If Marinette’s parents could hear her pacing through the floor, they didn’t come up and ask about it. </p><p> </p><p>“You need to tell him how you feel! No excuses, just Marinette.”</p><p> </p><p>“What if I’m frank about it and it ends up making everything worse?” Marinette asked, not meeting Tikki’s gaze from where she sat on the bookshelf. “What if he hates me? What if he tries to convince me to work it out?”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to work it out?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes!” Marinette turned to Tikki and flung her arms out. “I mean, no! I mean I don’t know if we can! If I thought we could, we wouldn’t be here, and I wouldn’t be losing my mind over all of this.” </p><p> </p><p>Having lost her momentum, Marinette fell back on her chaise with a sigh. “The fairest thing to both of us is to end it. Now. Right?”</p><p> </p><p>Tikki nodded her head.</p><p> </p><p>“What if he thinks it’s unfair to him to break it off without trying to make things better first? How am I supposed to look him in the eye and tell him the reason I know I don’t have feelings for him anymore is because I still have them for,” Marinette said, pausing to pick up a pillow and groan into it, “Adrien Agreste?”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe don’t include that part.” Tikki flew over to sit in Marinette’s lap. “If you were in Luka’s position, what would you think you’d deserve to hear?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d want an explanation. ‘Why now? How long have you felt this way? Did I do something wrong? Don’t give me “it’s not you, it’s me,” Marinette, we both know there’s more to it than that. Is there somebody else? Is it Adrien? I know he and Kagami haven’t been together for a while. Is it because I’m not going to university in France? Is it because of the boat?’ He wouldn’t ask that.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, he wouldn’t.” </p><p> </p><p>Marinette let her face rest in her hands. “I don’t know what to tell him.” She didn’t have to look up at Tikki to know what she was going to say. “I feel like the whole truth will hurt worse. I don’t want to lie to him, but I can’t tell him everything, Tikki, you know that.” </p><p> </p><p>Tikk, her voice gentle, asked, “What is the whole truth, Marinette?”</p><p> </p><p><em>Good question. </em> Marinette’s hands fell to her cheeks and she looked down at her kwami. “I’m not in love and I don’t know how to fall again. I have to keep half of myself from him, I have to make up excuses for why I’m late or missing during akuma attacks or so much more tired than usual, and I feel… I feel like no matter what, I can’t ever be honest with him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, minus the Ladybug bits, that’s not entirely the worst.” From the look on Tikki’s face, it was at least a little bit the worst.</p><p> </p><p>“So I just say I can’t be in a relationship right now? There are things about my life I have to keep to myself?” </p><p> </p><p>“That’s better,” Tikki said. “I think the right words will come to you when you talk to him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Eep!” Her hands flew back to her eyes. “How am I supposed to talk to him?” </p><p> </p><p>“You talk to him every day, Marinette!” Tikki flew up and pulled Marinette’s hands from her face. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re right.” Marinette took a deep breath. “I can save Paris, and I can end my relationship.”</p><p> </p><p>—X—</p><p> </p><p>Envisioning the girl sitting behind him, the one who sobbed into his hands in a cramped third story workroom yesterday afternoon, Adrien found himself worrying she would end up akumatized by the end of the day rather than paying attention to Mme. Bustier’s philosophy lecture.</p><p> </p><p>If Adrien was honest with himself, the only thing keeping him attentive in class the last few months was the threat of repercussion from his father if his grades slipped for his final few terms of lycée. Two university acceptance letters were already sitting in his desk drawer at home, he’d taken his TPE and written his bac exam essay the moment he could, and even if he was going to stop modeling anytime soon, he could pursue professional competitive fencing or follow through with piano. Had his father not been, well, his father, Adrien would be riding the final wave of secondary school, savoring adolescence before making a beeline toward the freedom of adulthood. </p><p> </p><p>Of course, Gabriel Agreste was Gabriel Agreste. Nothing would get in the way of his son’s education being complete. </p><p> </p><p>Adrien tried to think of the times he’d seen Marinette cry. She’d certainly been emotional before, but as far as he could remember, he could count every instance he’d actually seen her shed tears on one hand. It wasn’t to say she was cold or unfeeling. Marinette was the opposite of that, she was warm and wore her heart on the sleeve and helped people whenever she could, but seeing her break down like that was… </p><p> </p><p>He and Luka had never really gotten close, even with the amount of time they’d spent together over the years (almost always in a group setting, with Alya, Nino, Marinette, and, for a while, Kagami, never really talking), which made it so much easier to shift some of the blame off of Marinette in this situation. He couldn’t explain it. Marinette, for how much hurt she was feeling, probably couldn’t care more for Luka in the way she did. She didn’t blame him, didn’t think he did anything wrong, but Adrien couldn’t put together how Luka could be such a wonderful, thoughtful boyfriend and Marinette would still think she had to hide something so monumental from him. </p><p> </p><p><em>Maybe it’s the stress she’s under, </em> a voice in Adrien’s head (one that sounded a lot like Plagg when he was trying to get Adrien to shut up and give him cheese) protested. <em> She’s working her ass off between school and the bakery and that tailor.</em></p><p> </p><p>It didn’t disquiet Adrien’s thoughts, or an uneasiness about how the two of them ended up where they were in the first place. As ridiculous as it felt to look for some underlying issue with Luka, Adrien knew he didn’t have to like his friend’s ex, even if they weren’t <em> really </em> broken up yet. And even if sometimes he played in said ex’s band. And even if she was probably going to stay on as Kitty Section’s costume designer. </p><p> </p><p>He bit his tongue to keep in a groan. It was lucky Marinette was good with people.</p><p> </p><p>Mme. Bustier snapped him out of his trance with a question about Hannah Arendt’s pre-war work.</p><p> </p><p>—X—</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Alya 🦊</em> </b>
</p><p>4:52 PM</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>are you off work</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Yeah </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>omw</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ??? For what????? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Alya wdym you’re on your way??? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Did you text the wrong person  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>no i am going to eat dp-c cookies and you’re going to tell me wtf is going on with you today</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m not at home  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I have to meet Luka. Can I call you? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>so this is a no on cookies</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Before Marinette could hit dial, Alya’s face lit up the vibrating screen.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, I get it if it’s just, like, a work thing,” Alya began to say as soon as Marinette’s phone reached her ear, “but you cannot pretend like something wasn’t up today.”</p><p> </p><p>“I…” Marinette suppressed a sigh. “I don’t know how to say this. I’m on my way to break up with Luka.”</p><p> </p><p>For a few long seconds, Alya was silent on the other end of the line. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, did I hear you right? You’re going to—“</p><p> </p><p>“Break up with Luka. Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“But… but <em>why</em>?” </p><p> </p><p>“He didn’t do anything wrong, if that’s what you’re thinking. Actually, I think it’s the fact that he’s doing everything so well that makes this so hard.” Finally at the Canal, Marinette chose an empty bench facing the way Luka would come. “You know that saying, that’s like, ‘Love is a job, not just its benefits?’”</p><p> </p><p>“No, it sounds like you just made that up.” Marinette could hear in Alya’s voice that she was dying to say more, and biting her tongue for Marinette’s sake.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t, I swear! It means that you have to wake up every day and actively love somebody or you’ll lose the feeling,” Marinette explained. “And I have decided it’s wrong.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean that I try so hard. I’ve been trying for months to build the fire, give it nice dry wood and newspaper, let it grow, but it’s still dying. I care about him so much, Alya, but I don’t love him, and it’s eating me up inside.” Marinette’s voice began to shake, so she kept her eyes moving across the walkway on the other side of the Canal.</p><p> </p><p>“How long have you felt like this?”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette almost dropped her phone</p><p> </p><p>That was not Alya’s voice.</p><p> </p><p>“I-I have to call you back, Al,” she said quickly, standing up and turning around, and the look on his face felt like a hammer to her heart. </p><p> </p><p>“Did you say months?” Luka asked. Not accused. He just asked, and it was somehow worse.</p><p> </p><p>“I-I’m so sorry, Luka,” was all Marinette could make her mouth say.</p><p> </p><p>She watched as he went silent, swallowed, and took a seat on the other side of the bench. As she sat down, her gaze fell to her hands and she couldn’t seem to tear it away and look over at him.</p><p> </p><p>“I should have told you,” Marinette said at the exact same moment Luka told her, “I wish you had told me.”</p><p> </p><p>Both heads shot up to look at the other, and they stared for a minute, too afraid to speak.</p><p> </p><p>“I know it doesn’t make it any better, but the reason I was too afraid to tell you was that you are always so wonderful to me. I couldn’t have asked for a more wonderful boyfriend.”</p><p> </p><p>“You could have asked for Adrien.” He looked away from her, like he had said that without really thinking it through.</p><p> </p><p>“That is not—” Marinette stared at Luka. “This has nothing to do with him. I promise.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know. Shit. I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, well... I kind of deserved it.” Marinette tilted her head back and looked up at the sky. “I held out hope for so long, and he never gave me a second look. You, on the other hand…”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He would never choose me, and I can’t imagine you choosing anybody else. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“This isn’t something we can fix, is it?” This time, it wasn’t an accusation or a question. </p><p> </p><p>“No, I don’t think so.” And there it was. “If I could, I would go back in time and erase every stupid feeling I had for him if it meant I could make myself fall in love with you again.”</p><p> </p><p>So, so badly, Marinette wished she could, and staring at the sky as it turned lilac, she was bombarded with a tsunami of deja vu and a pair of cat eyes. <em> Marinette Dupain-Cheng, heartbreaker extraordinaire, why can’t you just love one of the boys who wants you?</em></p><p> </p><p>“Don’t say that,” he said quietly. “This is hard enough already.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” </p><p> </p><p>Her words hung over then for what felt like hours.</p><p> </p><p>“I guess it was all too good to be true. You’re a great person, Marinette. I was lucky to—”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s your turn to not make this harder, Luka, please.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have to say it. I’m not sure I care how selfish it is, I’m glad I got to love you. It’ll probably be some time before I don’t.”</p><p> </p><p>Something in Marinette’s throat forced a dry sob out of her, and it didn’t take long before she felt her eyes fill. </p><p> </p><p>“You were the best thing that could have happened to me. I’m so sorry that it’s ending like this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are we still friends?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think that’s up to you.” He gave her a sad smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” She sincerely didn’t know. “It seems like it would be harder for you to—”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know if I could sincerely cut you out. If you’ll have me, I would love to stay your friend.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette had <em> not </em> been planning on crying as hard as she did with Chat Noir. She thought she had it out of her system, but hearing him say these things made her fall apart all over again.</p><p> </p><p>“I… I’m so-Thank you. I’m so sor—“ Marinette said, but he wrapped his arms around her and she was muffled by his shoulder, and once she noticed that he was shaking just as badly as her, it dawned on her that his shirt wasn’t the only one getting soaked through. </p><p> </p><p>She also couldn’t tell if it was a relief or slap in the face that being held like this still only brought her as much comfort as if it was Nino or Alya. She was making the right choice, and it stung.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re sure this is for the best?” Luka whispered.</p><p> </p><p>A long, shaky breath forced its way into Marinette’s lungs, and rather than say too much, or not enough, she nodded against him.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” And they released each other. Maybe that meant they could let each other go, too. “I’ll see you, Marinette.”</p><p> </p><p>“Goodbye,” she said, wiping off her face and giving her best attempt at a smile. </p><p> </p><p>He watched the ground in front of him as he crossed the bridge and disappeared down a street on the other side. Marinette felt like melting through the bench and into the earth. <em> I guess I should call Alya. </em></p><p> </p><p>The line didn’t ring more than twice before Alya picked up. “What happened? Talk to me!”</p><p> </p><p>“I did it, Al. I… don’t know how to feel right now.” Marinette had to clear her throat and stand up if she wanted to sound at all normal. </p><p> </p><p>“How did he take it?” </p><p> </p><p>“Really well, actually. He was wonderful right up to the end.” Marinette was halfway through a sigh when Alya’s voice cut through it.</p><p> </p><p>“I hear you blaming yourself! Stop that! You did the right thing!” Marinette could hear Alya muttering something else through the line.</p><p> </p><p>“What was that?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I was telling Nora that I’m heading out to meet you. Should I pick up tissues or popcorn or is this more of a situation where you bite your cheek and just do all your homework for the week in one night so you don’t have to think about anything else?”</p><p> </p><p>Alya brought popcorn.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thinking of changing the name of this. my google doc is titled “god i have to name it?” and i chose imh,ifomf on a whim bc i was excited to post chapter one. not sure though, it’s not a huge deal either way. (edit! changed it)</p><p>i’m also relatively new to the fandom and only found ce mur qui nous sépare this weekend and guys. GUYS. it’s too much for my little heart and also like 90% of why the luka breakup scene is so short</p><p>stay sexy, don’t get murdered - god son</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>you get two short parts of my love affair with ellipses today bc it felt weird making them into one normal one.</p><p>feast, my pretties.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> “Um,  forensics have come back on the phone. Mark’s prints, but he handled it. Danny’s DNA and Jack Marshall’s, which tallies with him finding it.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Or he claimed to find it because he knew his DNA was already on it.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Funny thing is, Mark confirmed the phone was Danny’s when Jack handed it to him, but…”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Alya was sprawled out on the floor (or, honestly, on a chair she’d made of pillows) next to Marinette, who had pulled a giant comforter from a closet because neither the chaise nor the bed had a good view of where Detectives Hardy and Miller were on her monitor. </p><p> </p><p>Alya’s nails clinked against the bottom of the empty bowl of popcorn. “I’m getting more. Pause it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course!” Marinette got up and as soon as she’d hit the spacebar, a tapping came from her trapdoor.</p><p> </p><p>Grumbling, Marinette made her way to the door. “I swear, if another pigeon has landed on this thing—”</p><p> </p><p>“You did tell me to knock next time.”</p><p> </p><p>“Chat! I—”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Marinette, did you move your coconut oil?” Alya asked from the top of the stairs that led into her room, and Marinette instinctively clapped a hand over Chat’s mouth. “Where’d you go?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, there’s an, um, bird that keeps pecking on my trapdoor. I think the coconut oil is outside the bathroom on the, uhhh…” Marinette held her eyes wide open as she mouthed <em>don’t you dare</em> at her midnight invader. When he raised an eyebrow, Marinette scrunched her nose at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I see it!”</p><p> </p><p>The sound of Alya’s footsteps receding down the stairs broke Marinette and Chat’s frozen state, but he had to grab her hand and move it from his mouth. </p><p> </p><p>“Was that the girl who runs the Ladyblog?” Chat asked in a low voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, and if she sees you, you get to do all the explaining about why you’re trying to get into my room in the middle of the night,” whispered Marinette. “Speaking of, why <em> are </em>you here?”</p><p> </p><p>“I wanted to make sure you’re okay. You did… do it, right?”</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t <em> surprising </em>that he cared. Just because he was a flirt didn’t mean he couldn’t share any vulnerable moments. It just… felt... notable. Deep down.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, and it went... better than I expected. I mean, as well as something like that could.” Marinette had a small smile on her face. She wasn’t happy, but it wasn’t looming over her anymore. “I’m not going to get akumatized, if you’re worried about that, and I don’t think he is either.” <em> Or at least I really hope not. How would I explain to Alya why I had to leave her alone in my house after </em> my <em> breakup?</em></p><p> </p><p>“I’ll check to make sure.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t tell Ladybug, but I think you just may be the best.” Marinette gave an exaggerated wink.</p><p> </p><p>“I wouldn’t tell her even if you were right.”</p><p> </p><p>“Actually, no, I agree, I’m friends with both of you and <em> she’s </em> the only one who’s given me her number in case of an emergency.” Thinking back to the first time she introduced that lie… yikes. Babybug was reckless.</p><p> </p><p>“You have Ladybug’s number?” <em> Great memory, Chat, I’ve only used this as an excuse for being near an akuma… three times now. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Not anymore.” <em> Doesn’t mean I can’t fix that mistake. </em>“It was on my old phone, but it got broken on accident and I lost it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Damn. I would offer you mine so I can go back to being the best but maybe getting the number of Paris’s flirtiest cat the night of your breakup is a bit much.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please, as if we’d be flirting. My head’s full of fabric and your head is full of… well… is there anything up there? Besides Ladybug, of course.”</p><p> </p><p>“You wound me, Princess, I am actually an expert on the classification of… uh… Mediterranean and North African insects.”</p><p> </p><p>“So your head is full of bugs. That’s another reason we wouldn’t be flirting. I live above a bakery and bugs are not great for business.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, but Ladybug <em>is</em> excellent for business. I could come here and we could both just think about her.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette snorted. <em> Oh, if you only knew, chaton. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Is the bird still up there?” Alya called from below. <em> Shit.  </em></p><p> </p><p>“Uh, you know how pigeons are!” Marinette lowered her voice to a whisper to say, “Get out of here! I’ll be fine! Check on Luka so I don’t have to deal with Alya realizing I socialize with one of her idols!” <em> Or that I am one, but, you know, completely different can of worms.</em></p><p> </p><p>“I see how it is. À bientôt, princesse,” whispered Chat. Before Marinette could blink, he had vaulted off of the balcony and disappeared into the night. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s gone!” Marinette said, climbing back down into her room to find Alya exactly where she’d been, stuck haphazardly in her pile of pillows, five minutes earlier. </p><p> </p><p>“‘He’?” She raised an eyebrow. </p><p> </p><p>“...Of course! I know plenty about Señor Pájaro. We have a long and storied history.”</p><p> </p><p>“Your bird… rival… is Spanish?”</p><p> </p><p>“Southeast of Basque.” Marinette said as she tapped the spacebar again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I always saw Danny with a smartphone like Tom’s.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Did we get any data off the handset?” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Nothing. Everything’s been set to forward to another number.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>——</p><p> </p><p>“What is it with Hawk Moth and the Louvre lately?” Chat wondered aloud while a flurry of ladybugs repaired its once again broken frame, helping the confused woman who had been bright blue and floating twenty feet off the ground not a minute earlier to her feet. </p><p> </p><p>“You know, that’s a good question.” Ladybug, behind him, was idly spinning her yo-yo with the hand that wasn’t already outstretched for their fistbump.</p><p> </p><p>“Pound it!”</p><p> </p><p>A camera flashed.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re just getting faster, huh?” Ladybug said, smiling for the clamoring journalists.</p><p> </p><p>“You’d think they’d be getting less enthused.”</p><p> </p><p>With a wave to the press, and a silent <em> fuck it</em>, Chat turned, wrapped an arm around the front of Ladybug’s waist, and vaulted both of them over top of the Louvre and out of the city’s centre. </p><p> </p><p>“Chat!” Ladybug tried to admonish, but it came out in a fit of laughter.</p><p> </p><p>“You want to waste our newfound extra time on telling the same journalists the same thing they hear every time somebody new is akumatized?” </p><p> </p><p>She made a few indignant noises, which told Chat his lady agreed with him. </p><p> </p><p>“What if Paris thinks we’re not doing our jobs?” Ladybug finally got out.</p><p> </p><p>“Paris loves us, and Paris,” he said. Well towards the edges of Paris, Chat stopped on the roof of a warehouse he barely recognized. “Well, Paris knows we’re still teenagers.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re kidding, right? Somebody who works with the Sorbonne asked me if I could endorse my alma mater last month.” Ladybug dusted off her suit and sat against a crate.</p><p> </p><p>“We were, what, 150cm two years ago?” He sat opposite her, back on the short wall that ran around the edge of the roof.</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug made a little sound. “<em>You </em> were 150. I was…” she muffled her next words with a fake cough.</p><p> </p><p>“What?” Chat couldn’t keep a smirk off his face. “How tall <em>were</em> you, my lady?”</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s just say that there’s a reason I’ve never told you the actual number.”</p><p> </p><p>“You weren’t 130, were you, Bugaboo?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I— it just— I was— no,” she stammered. “No, I was taller than <em> that</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“I see. 140?”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re done talking about this.” She pointed at him. </p><p> </p><p>“135? You know I love you no matter how little you were.” </p><p> </p><p>“Shut up, kitty. Fifteen year olds are little.” </p><p> </p><p>They’d made references to their ages several times by now, once when they both got worried the other was ten years older than them and something very creepy was going on. Still, Chat felt himself caught off guard every time that he remembered they were almost the exact same age.</p><p> </p><p>He’d crossed plenty of people—Kagami (akumatized twice, Ryuko), Alya (Lady Wifi, Rena Rouge), Chloe (obviously)—off his list of suspects, but it didn’t get rid of the nagging feeling that he had met the girl behind the mask and been clueless.</p><p> </p><p>“I was a beautiful, tall fifteen year old, thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>She just snorted at that.</p><p> </p><p>“I could take off the mask and prove it to you,” he offered. He could offer all he wanted; Ladybug never changed her mind.</p><p> </p><p>She gave him the look she gave him every time this subject came up. “Someday, Chat.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, yeah. I know.” It almost didn’t hurt anymore. Almost. “I was talking to Marinette the other day, and I got an idea.”</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug raised her eyebrows. “You’re friends with Marinette?”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s a sweet girl. You should drop by her balcony sometime and look down at the poster she did for Adrien Agreste.” <em> Maybe the nicest thing Father’s done was use her work on that poster. </em></p><p> </p><p>Ladybug choked on her spit. “Y-I, uh, okay.” </p><p> </p><p>“Everything alright over there, my lady?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, um, I—” She cleared her throat and blinked a few times. “What was your idea?”</p><p> </p><p>“Right! Obviously we can’t text each other on our civilian phones, but work is going very well for me and I think they’re planning on sending me out of France more than I’d like. I still have this,” Chat said, holding up the little clicker that activated Ladybug’s cat charm, “but if you’re planning on digging into Hawk Moth like you said earlier, I’d rather keep in contact.”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you saying?”</p><p> </p><p>“Give me a second.” Chat stood and jumped over the crate Ladybug was leaned against so they couldn’t see each other. “Plagg, claws in!”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing?” Ladybug frantically asked through the crate.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry, LB,” Adrien called back to her. He pulled the phones from his pocket. She wouldn’t accept anything new, he was sure of that, but he wasn’t going to make her use a 10-key keypad, either, so he pulled the two little, blocky smartphones and a slice of camembert from his shirt. “Not planning on exposing myself to you against your will. Plagg, claws out!”</p><p> </p><p>Back on her side of the crate, Chat handed her a phone. “You don’t have to use it, I just thought—”</p><p> </p><p>“Why am I the screensaver?” She asked, holding up the phone to him. He looked down and saw the image of her smiling next to her real, unsmiling face. </p><p> </p><p>“Oops, that one’s mine.” He pulled it from her hand and gave her the other one. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, okay, I see what you did,” she said, and she held it up again to show him the photo of himself he took a few hours earlier. “How am I supposed to accept this, Chat?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I already paid for it, for one.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m being serious. I don’t want to be in your debt.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve saved my life more times than I can count, my lady. If you want to, you can look at it as me getting out of your debt.”</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug turned it over in her hands for a minute, silently debating. “Fine,” she eventually said, “but we keep everything on here professional, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll do my best to keep my texts and calls with my wonderful best friend and partner strictly professional, despite our close personal relationship and co-dependence,” he said, earning a glare and a bit-back smile.  </p><p> </p><p>Ladybug opened her mouth to speak, but the beeping of her earrings cut her off. “That’s my cue. Later, my kitty!”</p><p> </p><p>“Call me!” He yelled after her. <em> My kitty, </em> he mused, breaking out into a grin. <em> I love it when you call me that. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>everybody say hi to my missing assignments!!! it’s because of this and tiktok. </p><p>don’t let the bedbugs bite! - guld son</p><p>edit- fixed the notes! and in case you were wondering, m + a are watching broadchurch</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is a long one. pacing is weird. mild breakdown at the very beginning, if you want to skip to the fluffier part, just go to when adrien says “morning, milady :)” and then there’s a tiny sprinkling of violence while they’re fighting the akuma.</p><p>speaking of, while they’re at the concert, the song i was imagining was STFU! by rina sawayama, but it is probably too long for the scene and i didn’t feel like referencing a whole new song.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> If I threw a bouncy ball at the window hard enough, </em> Adrien mused idly, turning his phone in his hand, <em> how long could it stay bouncing between these fucking walls?</em></p><p> </p><p>Eighteen was supposed to mean getting out of here. </p><p> </p><p>As a little kid, life in a room like this, in a house like this, was as exciting as it was lonely. There was everything to do, every game to play, and a cousin to run through life with. It wasn’t paradise, but Adrien’s mother would sit with him and call him her lucky little boy.</p><p> </p><p>Double digits didn’t mean that Adrien was suddenly noticing changes, though; the sinister shift in his parents after they got back from that trip slipped right by him. Adrien was busy wishing he could do something new. See somebody different. Feel something else. <em> “Why will you only let me see Chloe?”</em></p><p> </p><p>And then lightning struck, and it came in the form of a casket and a white rose. He didn’t get to see her before they lowered her into the ground. Adrien said goodbye, that day, to his mother and his childhood and any semblance of freedom his father had ever planned on allowing.</p><p> </p><p>Adrien’s grip tightened on the phone. It wasn’t the one with Ladybug’s number, which he’d bought with the money his father didn’t know he was making. It was the one Nathalie had handed him when he was sixteen. </p><p> </p><p>A little while before Adrien’s seventeenth birthday, Gabriel, who just happened to be sitting at the table while Adrien was there for his lunch break, made a comment about Adrien’s friends being under the impression they would get to see him more as they were getting older. How would he have—</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Nino: dude youre seventeen ur dad has gotta ease up a little </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Alya: yeah you’re almost an adult. what’s he gonna do sic the gorilla on you? </em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Adrien’s seventeenth birthday came and went, as unremarkable as ever in the eyes of the man Adrien now knew installed spyware on his phone. It made more and more sense every day he spent picking apart the years since his mother died. The illusion that Gabriel truly loved him was slipping, so Adrien forced his hand. The arrangement was every year, his father would approve friends, and they would be allowed onto the premises ten times. They would be allowed to stay the night four of those times, and during those occasions, Nathalie would check in every other hour to ensure nothing was afoot under his father’s roof. So many things needed to work for Gabriel.</p><p> </p><p>Eighteen years in, everything in the house felt cold, broken, and sharp. Every moment was spent thinking about how much he wished his father was better or the debilitating guilt and the feeling of ungratefulness. <em> How dare you, </em> the voices would hiss, <em> sleep in this beautiful room with this view of Paris and complain about what you have been given? How dare you disrespect your father, a man who lost the love of his life to something he could not explain? How dare you? You ungrateful little shit. How do you call yourself a good son? How do you sleep at night? </em></p><p> </p><p>Poorly. </p><p> </p><p>Eighteen was supposed to mean things getting better. Instead, his internal battles seemed to replace the marrow of his bones.</p><p> </p><p>Every few rotations, the soft light of the barely risen sun bounced off of Adrien’s screen and colored it lilac. Paris was soon to be bathed in the same warm, golden glow it saw every morning, but for now it was still immersed in the blues of nights gently mixing with the pink hues of the new day. </p><p> </p><p>Adrien took a deep breath. Everything would be okay. There was no way his father had cameras in here, no way he had stayed silent for years about the fact that he was not only sneaking out regularly but <em> Chat Noir,</em> so Adrien reached under his bed and pulled out the box with the Ladybug phone in it. </p><p> </p><p>He would absolutely be lying if he said he hadn’t picked up a red and black spotted phone case years ago only to realize it didn’t fit his phone. Of course he still had it, too. </p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t surprising that Ladybug hadn’t texted him, and it wouldn’t be surprising if she didn’t text back. No way he wouldn’t text, though.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> morning, milady :) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Both phones sat on the bed while Adrien stripped out of his pajamas and into his running sweats. As if he didn’t run enough as Chat. </p><p> </p><p>Really, it was just another way to get out of the house without risking a warning from Plagg that he shouldn’t be using his powers so much; plus, it seemed to please his father, who had no idea he was really running for five blocks and then finding a good roof to sit on in a hat and sunglasses so he could watch the traffic and eat his breakfast in peace. Chat wasn’t just seeping into Adrien’s personality but his actions, now, too.</p><p> </p><p>Today, though, he had different plans. </p><p> </p><p>Adrien had seen Marinette in the days following her breakup, but Chat hadn’t spoken to her since that night, and he was anything but a bad friend. Nathalie was awake, and Adrien assumed his father was, too, though he didn’t see him on his way out.</p><p> </p><p>Following a familiar route to the Dupain-Cheng bakery, Adrien hummed along to <em> Chasing Pavements </em>as quietly as he could bear. It was still sort of dark, but there were plenty of people around, so he kept his head down and his voice just above a whisper. </p><p> </p><p>It occurred to him maybe he should visit more than just the girl with his face still on her wall, but Marinette was a fashion student. Any potential ego boost he could get from that deflated under scrutiny. </p><p> </p><p>Instinctually, he took a detour to a nearby alleyway. Before Adrien could transform, though, Plagg flew up from where he’d been in a pocket. </p><p> </p><p>“You should check your phone,” Plagg said suggestively as soon as Adrien removed his earbuds.</p><p> </p><p>Adrien took his phone out and held up the empty home screen to Plagg with a confused look.</p><p> </p><p>“Your <em> other </em>phone.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Oh. Oh! </em> Adrien slipped it from his pocket and saw two new texts from <em> LB &lt;3</em>, each from four minutes ago.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>What are you doing up this early</b>
</p><p>
  <b>It’s not even six go back to bed you loser</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Adrien smiled fondly down at his phone. “I thought she wouldn’t reply.”</p><p> </p><p>“She still has a few secrets, you know,” Plagg said. </p><p> </p><p>“Wanna tell me?” Adrien said with a smirk. </p><p> </p><p>“No way, buster! Tikki has encouraged me to turn over a new leaf. No more taunting you with the fact that I know everything about Ladybug or saying I’m just using you for your cheese.” Plagg looked very proud of himself. </p><p> </p><p>“Seeing a lot of Tikki lately?” Adrien teased as he typed out a reply.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> visiting a friend of mine </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Plagg had been extra enamored lately, and sometimes Adrien could have sworn he felt it when he was Chat, that he was noticing things about Ladybug the same way he had when he first fell in love with her. </p><p> </p><p>“Ladybug needs my expertise to find weaknesses in the powers of Hawk Moth’s Miraculous,” he boasted. </p><p> </p><p>The phone buzzed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Apologize to them for me because it is much too early to deal with social calls from somebody in a catsuit</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> at least i have accessories &gt;:) </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>&gt;:(</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> what are YOU doing up this early then? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Working :/</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I have to help my boss with a big project coming up</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Not something I want to screw up</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> what kind of work do you do? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want me to go, or…?” Plagg asked, making Adrien realize he was just standing in the alley untransformed. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll just be a second.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>I’m a surgeon</b>
</p><p>
  <b>My specialty is texting and cutting people open at the same time</b>
</p><p>
  <b>I’m very talented. You’ve probably heard of me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Nice try, Chat</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> doesn't hurt to try </em>
</p><p>
  <em> i’ve gotta pounce, bugaboo </em>
</p><p>
  <em> don’t want to deprive my friend of the catsuit </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>I wouldn’t dream of it</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, Plagg, claws out!” </p><p> </p><p>Chat scaled the wall of the building and jumped from roof to roof until he was outside Marinette’s window. He expected to see her nestled in bed, but she sat, legs tucked beneath her, at her computer with most of her back to him.</p><p> </p><p>Against the brilliance of the screen, Chat could see a bit of her face, just her cheek and jaw, and as if startled by something, Marinette whirled her head to the side to look at her bookcase. <em> Maybe I should take my normal route. </em></p><p> </p><p>Chat leapt onto the railing above before she could turn her head and see him just sitting outside her room so he could squat by the trapdoor and knock. Faintly, through the thin material, he could hear ABBA’s <em> As Good As New </em> playing. </p><p> </p><p>He knocked again, a little louder, but the door moved beneath his hand and he fell forward onto his knees. She was at the very top of the stairs, so when he fell forward onto his hand, he inadvertently put their faces inches apart.</p><p> </p><p>“Morning, purrincess,” Chat purred. <em> They have the same eyes. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Uh… good morning, Chat.” Marinette blinked a few times. “What are you… um…”</p><p> </p><p>She wasn’t stuttering, but she did seem to be thinking very hard about something.</p><p> </p><p>“I was on a run and thought I’d check up on you. See how you were holding up.” Chat didn’t move his face away from hers. She would never let Adrien study her like this, not even now that she was more comfortable around him. She seemed to like Adrien well enough, sure, but it felt like it was easier for both of them if he was Chat.</p><p> </p><p>Taking in her face up close, Chat had to push away the thought that Marinette reminded him of Ladybug. He remembered Multimouse; they were two different people. Not to mention they were almost too different.</p><p> </p><p>They were both loving and kind, sure, and they both had the same self-sacrificing nature, and maybe they were both good in leader roles, but Chat wasn’t about to project his feelings for Ladybug onto Marinette, so they had to be different.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t going to project his feelings. He was just going to look at her really close up.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I’m okay. It’s weird, and I haven’t been single in a long time, but I’m making it through.” Marinette smiled, but her eyes were still wide like she was working through something in her head. She blinked a few times, and then practically fell down a rung.</p><p> </p><p>Chat bit back a smirk. “What are you doing up so early?” </p><p> </p><p>“Bad dream, so I’m getting some work done,” she said with a grimace. She seemed to have gotten her bearings and was beckoning him to follow her down into her room as she receded. “I haven’t had it in a while. I thought I was over it, but I guess not.”</p><p> </p><p>“Something you want to talk about?”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette sat back in her chair and spun it so she was facing him, but she looked at her hands for a second before she met his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“I made a mistake a few years ago and even though I fixed it… well, I saw what could have happened if I hadn’t made it in time. It’s a mistake I won’t—I <em> can’t </em>make again.”</p><p> </p><p>“What could have happened?” Chat asked carefully. He didn’t want to pry, but he knew Marinette, and he had no idea what she was talking about. </p><p> </p><p>Marinette had to think about it for a second. “It would have ruined some lives.” She spoke very carefully, as if she had to choose her words with precision. “And even though I’m not sure why what I did was wrong, I know I can’t do it again.”</p><p> </p><p>If he hadn’t been in the suit, Chat couldn’t have picked up that she tacked on a sighed, “even if I really want to,” at the end of that sentence.</p><p> </p><p><em> She’ll tell you however much she wants. Leave her alone. </em>“I’m sure you can do the right thing. You can always ask yourself, ‘What would Chat do?’”</p><p> </p><p>She looked at him for a few long seconds and fell into a fit of laughter.</p><p> </p><p>“Didn’t know you thought I was so funny, Mari,” Chat said with a half-grin, trying to piece her reaction together.</p><p> </p><p>“You are if you say things like that,” she got out between giggles. “Chat, you would <em> absolutely </em>do it if you could.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me? A mistake? You’ve got the wrong cat, chérie.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I definitely—” She had to wipe a tear from her eye. “You’d do it in a second. You’d end the world for it, I think.” This last bit was particularly funny to her. She doubled over, gripping her side on one hand and covering her mouth with the other.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, why don’t I leave you to—” Chat stood to leave, stifling the fact that her infectious laughter was doing just what it said on the tin with the back of one hand, but Marinette grabbed the other and took a few breaths to slow herself down.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, I’m sorry! If I could tell you the whole story, you’d know why I say that. I don’t think you’d make mistakes <em> like </em> that one, but if you had the option, you’d take it,” she said, finally composed. “Before you go, I wanted to ask your advice on something.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d be honored.” His hand fell from her grasp and she swiveled to face her computer.</p><p> </p><p>“You had some really good ideas last time you saw me working. I couldn’t really use them then,” she said, beckoning for him to look at the screen with her, “but I have more freedom now, and I was wondering if you had any ideas about what I could suggest to spice this up.”</p><p> </p><p>Open on her monitor was a spread of sketched designs, margins full of swatched colors and tiny, barely legible notes. <em> Wait. </em>He’d seen these before. </p><p> </p><p>Since becoming an adult in the eyes of the French government, Adrien had been able to take a few modeling jobs independent of his father. Not many, because he couldn’t juggle being his own agent on top of everything else, but he had the chance to pick and choose from hundreds of inquiries from all over Europe. He’d been sent these designs, colored differently and cleaned up but very much the same.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette hadn’t mentioned the name of her mentor. Chat had only seen her walking out of the room when he dropped by Marinette that day. </p><p> </p><p>“You work for <em> Anya Bourreau?</em>” Chat gasped. He couldn’t think of hiding his amazement. </p><p> </p><p>“You’ve heard of her?” Marinette looked at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Heard of her?” Chat scoffed. “I’ve <em> worshipped </em> her. She blows Audrey Bourgeois and Gabriel Agreste out of the water even though she’s nowhere near as popular. You can clearly see her style and the Russian influence in the detailing on the col— uhh… I mean. Yeah. I’ve read a few fashion magazines.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ve known each other how long?” Marinette’s looking turned into staring. “Were you ever planning on mentioning you are an expert in the <em> exact </em> career I’m pursuing?”</p><p> </p><p>“W-well I, uh, I mean, I was planning on staying in my lane and letting you do your actual fashion student thing. I don’t do any designing or anything like that.” <em> If modeling doesn’t count as ‘something like that.’</em></p><p> </p><p>A grin split Marinette’s face. “If you have somewhere to be, you should leave before I trap you here forever.”</p><p> </p><p>He checked the clock in the corner of her screen. 5:55. “I have a good twenty minutes. I’m all yours.” He didn’t want to make her feel awkward by trying to do this as Adrien (he had worked so hard to make her less scared of him), but like hell was he going to pass up the opportunity to help Marinette with an <em> Anya Bourreau line. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Great!” Marinette said with a squeal. “Alya and Nino are <em> not </em> interested in this, and Adrien’s so busy, I’ve had nobody to talk about this with.”</p><p> </p><p>Chat wasn’t sure when he pulled up a stool, but soon they were sitting side by side and diving into what they had to preserve, what would impress Mme. Bourreau, which buyers were likely to be interested, what made the line different, everything they could think of. </p><p> </p><p>“But the silhouette is the most important part!” Chat protested, tapping a claw on the screen.</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t see an inch of the embroidery or the fine details in the silhouette!” Marinette insisted.</p><p> </p><p>“The entire feeling of the garment lies in the shape. If you want to keep it and let it—”</p><p> </p><p>A loud, insistent beeping from Chat’s ring cut him off. </p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you need to use your Cataclysm to run out of time?” Marinette asked.</p><p> </p><p>“No, maybe Plagg is—<em>shit</em>.” Chat noticed where the time read 6:39. “I need to go.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, kitty!” Marinette called after him as he vaulted himself from her room. He gave her a wave through the trapdoor and broke into a sprint across the rooftops of Paris. <em> Shit, shit, shit.</em></p><p> </p><p>He’d been gone for almost an hour, exceeding his usual time by fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes would usually be fine, but not if he planned on going to the music festival out of the city tonight and especially not if he wanted to bring three friends back to stay. Dawn had come to Paris in the time Chat spent in Marinette’s bedroom, and the quicker he found one of the disappearing dark spots to transform, the better. </p><p> </p><p>Chat was forced to drop down into an unfamiliar alleyway about ten blocks from the mansion and run as quickly as he could, detransformed, back home, a sleeping Plagg in his pocket. Between the hat and the glasses and the fact that as the sun rose, so did the temperature, this was one of the less enjoyable runs Adrien had gone on in a little while. </p><p> </p><p>Still, it got him convincingly worn out by the time he finally pressed the button at the gate.</p><p> </p><p>“Welcome back, Adrien,” Nathalie said through the speaker.</p><p> </p><p>It was hard to tell if it was a good or bad sign that she didn’t mention if his father wanted to speak with him about his tardiness. The stairs seemed like a cruel joke, but he made it back to his room and fell on the bed, grinning at his ceiling. Usually, mornings that kicked off with such a bad start didn’t turn around like this. </p><p> </p><p>It was hard to tell if Plagg loved or hated him for it, but Adrien took a cue from Marinette and queued <em> Summer Night City </em> and <em> Angeleyes </em> for his shower. The kwami just laid on his back on the counter and closed his eyes. Adrien couldn’t be sure, but it sounded like Plagg murmured, “This kid is the corniest motherfucker to hold my Miraculous,” before telling him, “I bet Tikki would <em> love </em> you.”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien chuckled and stepped into the spray. </p><p> </p><p>—X—</p><p> </p><p>Maybe Chat’s visit had taken her out of a bad mood earlier, but stepping out of Alya’s little two-seater at the concert in the clothes she and Alya had spent almost an hour picking and being swallowed by the loud, intense music made Marinette feel as if she could conquer the world. She hadn’t had the chance to wear these shorts since she made them in November, and Alya had insisted she show off her legs (<em>“Seriously, Mari, when did you get calves like these?”</em>), so here she stood, a pair of blue cat eyes leaving her mind.</p><p> </p><p>A metal band she’d only heard a few times was onstage, shaking the walls a little between the bass and the drums and the haunting vocals of the singer, a girl with big, dark eyes and a shaved head. </p><p> </p><p>With the bombardment of sound as she and Alya moved closer, the guitar sending a shock down her spine, Marinette felt a familiar wave of confidence come over. She felt like she was in the suit. </p><p> </p><p>“Are the boys here yet?” Marinette had to raise her voice to be heard as they pushed forward through the crowd.</p><p> </p><p>“I think so!” Alya yelled, jumping every few steps to look overtop the crowd for Adrien and Nino. “Nino texted me and said—”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette couldn’t hear her over the music anymore, and as hard as she tried to read Alya’s lips, she had no clue what her friend was saying. “I can’t hear you!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll tell you later!” Alya pointed with her water bottle to their left. “I think I saw them over there!”</p><p> </p><p>Trying at idle chatter when they could barely hear each other was far from successful.</p><p> </p><p>“Who’s in the lineup?” Marinette tried.</p><p> </p><p>“I know Jagged’s coming! Other than that,” Alya called, shrugging. “Some local bands, I think.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you saw them over here?” </p><p> </p><p>They’d made it to the edge of the crowd.</p><p> </p><p>“I really thought I did! Do you want to get on my shoulders?” </p><p> </p><p>“Am I not the buff one anymore?” Marinette said with a laugh. </p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean, anymore? When have you been buff?”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette opened her mouth to speak, but just grinned instead. <em> I’ll show you who’s buff. </em>Before Alya could have known what was happening, Marinette swept her arms behind Alya’s knees and back so she could pull her up into a bridal carry. </p><p> </p><p>“This proves you’re buff, how?”</p><p> </p><p>“Great, I’m going to be the best man in my own girlfriend’s wedding,” Nino said from behind them.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette whirled around and Alya held onto her neck. “I’ll take care of her, don’t worry,” she said with a smile. “Wanna be my maid of honor, Adrien?”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien nodded and laughed, but Marinette could’ve sworn he swallowed, too. “You don’t even have to ask, Mari.”</p><p> </p><p>A blush fought its way onto Marinette’s face when she realized he swallowed just as he was looking her up and down. <em> Be cool, Marinette, it is not the time for this, </em> she told herself, letting Alya down out of her grasp.</p><p> </p><p>“You dudes look great,” Nino said as Alya pulled him in.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Adrien echoed, still looking at Marinette.</p><p> </p><p>A far cry from his usual “I’m in public and literally a celebrity” disguise, Adrien even had his shirt halfway open, and Marinette had to bite her tongue and fight to keep her eyes off of his chest. She might have felt like she was Ladybug but it was much too early in the night to check out the indirect reason for her breakup.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Oh. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> He is, isn’t he? And he’s looking at me like that anyway. Oh, god, what if he’s not looking at me like that? I’m totally projecting. He’s probably just thinking about how awkward things used to be between us. I am such an idiot. I am </em> such <em> an idiot. </em></p><p> </p><p>“So do you!” Alya said. “Do you know who’s performing other than Jagged? And whoever this is?”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien shook his head, but Nino started listing off artists who had either performed earlier or were going to perform soon. Marinette heard a few names she knew, like Clara Nightingale, who was performing tomorrow afternoon, and—</p><p> </p><p>“—And I think there is some weird drama between them and the band playing now. They’ve gotten into a couple fights online and in real life, but I think they already went a few hours ago. Tonight there’s also Kitty Section, and, plus, I think th—”</p><p> </p><p>“Kitty Section?” The three of them asked in unison.</p><p> </p><p>“What? Yeah, of course they’re here, what’s so sur… oh,” Nino said. “Sorry, Marinette.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s fine!” Marinette squeaked, holding her hands up. “We’re planning on staying friends. It’s not that weird. Don’t worry about me.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you say so,” Alya said. “Hey, we should get closer.”</p><p> </p><p>Back in the fray, once again unable to hear each other, Alya somehow managed to pull all three of her friends along behind her at once, shouldering her way through the crowd. </p><p> </p><p>Marinette turned her face to the sky for a moment, painted pink and orange with evening sunlight, and saw something moving far above. Squinting didn’t help. All she could tell was that it was little and dark and moving quickly. Maybe it was a plane? They probably wouldn’t be able to hear it anyw—</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It’s an akuma. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Before Marinette could open her mouth and try to warn somebody, the little moth darted toward the stage and into the locket at the neck of the singer with the shaved head. The singing stopped. The girl’s hand fell from the mic, but nobody seemed to notice. </p><p> </p><p>“Alya! Stop!” Marinette stopped, tugging her hand from Alya’s and reaching for her shoulder, but Alya didn’t hear her. </p><p> </p><p>Up on stage, the singer’s outfit had turned blood red and white handprints appeared over her eyes, but still everything continued just the same. The rest of the musicians had their heads bent down to look at the crowd or what they were playing. Alya and Nino disappeared into the writhing mass of people, but Adrien wasn’t with them. <em> What is going on? </em> </p><p> </p><p>Marinette clawed her way to the edges and held her purse up to her ear. “What’s happening, Tikki?”</p><p> </p><p>“It looks like her power masks her transformation until she uses an attack. Remember Victorium?” Tikki chirped.</p><p> </p><p>“Right. Why am I not affected this time?” </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe it has to do with being a Miraculous user. Hawk Moth must have let his guard down.”</p><p> </p><p>“Or he knows we’ll be here and he’s trying to set a trap. He should really know by now that doesn’t work.”</p><p> </p><p>“Either way, you should let Chat know!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Akuma </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Here’s the address </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>i’m there with my friends</b>
</p><p>
  <b>i haven’t seen an akuma</b>
</p><p>
  <b>oh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>fuck</b>
</p><p>
  <b>the singer</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Before Marinette could say anything back, a piercing sound and a wave of energy shook the entire venue. There were people in every direction, running and trying to get out of there. Marinette couldn’t transform like this, not in the middle of hundreds of people desperately trying to get to safety without even understanding what was happening.</p><p> </p><p><em>Sorry, Tikki! </em> Marinette took off in a run toward the stage. <em> I can’t just stand here.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Where are you?” The akuma roared into the microphone, sending out another blast of force. For a second, Marinette thought she was looking for Ladybug, but then she called out an unfamiliar name. <em> Perfect</em>.</p><p> </p><p>Security had been incapacitated at the base of the stage, and the other band members were long gone. The singer began to walk along the edge of the stage, away from Marinette, swinging a disconnected mic stand around.</p><p> </p><p><em> If I can just get backstage, everybody’s probably cleared out. </em> Marinette hauled herself up and tried to find the door, or the wing, or <em> something </em> to let her off so she could find herself a place to… <em> there. </em>One of the rising platforms was inset a little, with just enough space open for somebody to squeeze through.</p><p> </p><p>“Marinette!” Somebody screamed. Marinette turned to see Adrien running against the thinning flow of people.</p><p> </p><p>“Adrien, get out of—!”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette heard a sickening sound and blinked a few times before pain exploded through her leg like cracks through a piece of shattering glass, spidering through her. She turned in time to see the akuma, now a few feet away from her, dropping the bent mic stand, but by then Marinette could already feel herself crumpling to the stage.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>M</em><em>arinette!</em>”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien was there in a second, scooping her up the same way she’d held Alya and darting down into the opening, slamming the emergency button to raise the platform. He carried her to a wall and gingerly propped her up against it. “Are you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“I-I’m fine,” Marinette said, but she winced as she tried to push herself up a bit more. “Chat was supposed to— I mean, they’re our age. I figured they were here already.” <em> He was supposed to be here already. </em></p><p> </p><p>“You’re sure you’re okay?” Adrien asked as he knelt down next to her and examined her leg. A red mark was already blossoming on her thigh. </p><p> </p><p>“I-<em>fuck</em>.” Marinette bit her lip and tried to ignore the searing pain in her leg. “I don’t think it’s broken.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. You’re going to be alright.” Adrien began frantically reassuring her, but it really seemed like he was telling himself she was going to be fine. “Please be okay.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey.” Her hand found itself on his face, like she’d done with Chat before. “Don’t worry about me. Ladybug and Chat Noir are probably up there already.” <em> And they’re fighting very quietly. </em></p><p> </p><p>“You’re not invincible, Mari, why were you…?”</p><p> </p><p><em>I wish I could tell you. </em>“I’m not sure. I just scrambled. It doesn’t matter, we need to get out of here.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t walk, and I am not leaving you.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette shook her head. “You have to. I’ll be fine once this is all over. Get help, please. Just go.”</p><p> </p><p>“What if—“</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Go, </em>Adrien.” She ran her thumb along his cheekbone before dropping her hand to his chest and pushing him away.</p><p>Adrien swallowed and stood up. “I’m coming back as soon as I can.” He ran off down some corridor and Marinette distantly heard his voice and a door opening.</p><p> </p><p>“Tikki! Are you hurt?” Marinette held her purse up and Tikki came flying out.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine, Marinette! Transforming will help your leg, too, we just need to find somewhere else to get out of here so Adrien doesn’t see you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Right! Tikki, spots on!”</p><p> </p><p>It took about a minute for Ladybug to find a second exit, but this one led to a maintenance ladder, and by the time she was standing above the stage, Chat was already below, dodging hits and taunting the akuma.</p><p> </p><p>The drop was long. Very long. With a smirk, Ladybug tossed her yo-yo and watched as it wrapped around the akuma’s raised wrist. The plummet to the stage made Ladybug’s stomach drop, but she landed in a crouch and pulled the singer off balance. Discomfort spiked through her leg, but she just grit her teeth and gave the string another tug.</p><p> </p><p>A shriek left the akuma’s throat, though, and her binding slipped off her just in time to jump off of the stage and away from Chat’s grasp.</p><p> </p><p>“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting, chaton.” </p><p> </p><p>“No, milady, but I’d wait forever for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug rolled her eyes while they leapt forward together to follow the akuma, but that white mask appeared in the back of her mind. <em> I know you would, kitty. I’m still so sorry.</em></p><p> </p><p>It was far from an easy fight. The akuma could hit them with force from any direction, and a few times, Ladybug could feel a jolt of pain in her leg, but it was nothing the two of them couldn’t handle. </p><p> </p><p>The locket snapped in Ladybug’s grasp. “Bye bye, little butterfly.”</p><p> </p><p>No sooner had the charm been thrown and Ladybug’s fist met Chat’s than Alya came running out from who knows where, phone filming and questions rapid firing. </p><p> </p><p>“Were you two already at the festival?” </p><p> </p><p>“We were! Or, at least I was. I don’t know about my lady here.” Chat draped his arm around Ladybug’s shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>“I was,” Ladybug said, smiling as she pushed his hand off of her. “You guys know I’m a huge Jagged fan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you planning on staying? Is the rest of the performance safe?”</p><p> </p><p>“We don’t need to worry about another akuma tonight. I do have something to check on, though,” Chat said. He flashed the camera a grin and pulled out his staff to vault away. “Adieu.” </p><p> </p><p>In one movement, Chat practically flew back over to a door left of the stage.</p><p> </p><p><em> Adrien is going to be looking for Marinette.  </em>“On that note,” Ladybug said, giving the camera a wave. “See you, Alya!”</p><p> </p><p>Maybe she shouldn’t have said that, but as she swung over to where Chat disappeared, Ladybug could hear Alya’s squeal of delight as she addressed the Ladyblog. <em> She deserves it.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Chat Noir!” Ladybug called through the room beneath the stage.</p><p> </p><p>His head popped out from behind a beam. “It’s my friend. She was here.” <em> Me. How did Chat know…?</em></p><p> </p><p>“Marinette? I found her when I first got here. She should be somewhere out back.” As soon as Ladybug said this, Chat visibly relaxed. “Her leg is probably fine now, but you should go check on her.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you.” With a smile, a nod, and a <em> kiss to her forehead,</em> Chat left. <em> I guess we have been getting closer.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Tikki, spots off.” </p><p> </p><p>Marinette was just slipping back outside when her phone buzzed.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Alya 🦊</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>20:19</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>where are you? the akuma is gone</b>
</p><p>
  <b>we’re thinking of just going to adrien’s instead of staying </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Ok cool, I’m walking to the back </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Over on the left </em>
</p><p> </p><p>In the middle of typing “<em>I can meet you at the car,” </em>Marinette almost dropped her phone after bumping into somebody right as she rounded the corner. “I’m so sorry!” Marinette whirled around and started to walk backwards, but she knew that hair.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, sor…” The other person looked up from his phone to apologize. <em> Oh. Okay.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Luka.” Marinette looked at him for a second, feeling very much like a deer in headlights, and giggled, nervously and half-heartedly, without really meaning to.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey. I didn’t know you were coming to this.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know you were playing.” <em> That sounds bad. </em>“I-What I mean is, this is a surprise! I wouldn’t have avoided it if—because, you know, we’re friends now, I just didn’t… I wasn’t sure… I’m so sorry. I told myself it wouldn’t be weird.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Luka said with a sad smile. “Are you staying for Jagged?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I think we're going to head out. Tell the girls I said hi, though, and to stop spilling soda on their costumes, okay? I have two other jobs I’ll see you okay bye!” She didn’t <em> mean </em>to speak so quickly, but before she knew it her legs were carrying her away from him and her eyes were screwed shut, as if she was bracing for an impact.</p><p> </p><p>She should have been. Not ten steps away from Luka, Marinette ran headfirst into a familiar chest. His arm snaked around her waist to hold her up as she lost her balance.</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh. Sorry, Chat.”</p><p>“No biggie, purrincess. I’m glad to see your leg is <em> feline </em>better.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette pulled back and opened her mouth to give him shit about the pun, but, “Wait, how did you know about my leg?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Adrien Agreste told me when I first got here.” Chat scratched the back of his head with the hand that wasn’t on the bare skin of her midriff.</p><p> </p><p>“I should really go find him.” Marinette wasn’t sure how she was supposed to release herself from Chat, and she also wasn’t sure she wan—<em> woah. Not the thought to be having right now, girl. Chat is your friend. </em> “I hope I didn’t make you late this morning.”</p><p> </p><p>Chat looked almost offended at the assumption. “Even if you had, it would’ve been worth it.”</p><p> </p><p>“I seriously cannot believe you’re so into fashion.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m a man of taste,” Chat purred.</p><p> </p><p>“Which is why you flirt with half of Paris.”</p><p> </p><p>“Which is why,” he corrected, “I flirt with you, Ladybug, and the cameras. Half of Paris just happens to think I’m talking directly to them.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette stared at him. “What did you just say?”</p><p> </p><p>“I flirt with Ladybug and the cameras,” he said quickly. “Half of Paris just thinks I’m talking to them.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, you did not say that. Shameless cat, going after a girl fresh out of a relationship while you have that whole…” Marinette moved her hand around in the minimal space between them, “<em>thing </em> going on with you and Ladybug.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ah, you’re right, chérie, I am dooming myself to rejection.” Chat put on a dramatic, sad affectation that he dropped to say, “Good thing neither of you can get rid of me.” </p><p> </p><p>His hand fell from her and, grin on his face, he extended his baton so he could hop onto the top of the stage’s covering and drop down some hole in it. <em> Somebody’s in a good mood. </em></p><p> </p><p>It was contagious. Marinette had a small, private smile on her face as she made her way back to the car. </p><p> </p><p>——</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, Weredad, Befana, Kung Food.”</p><p> </p><p>“My family? Seriously? I am not doing this one.” Marinette shot Nino a glare. </p><p> </p><p>“Fuck Befana, marry Kung Food, kill Weredad,” Alya said confidently, motioning for Adrien to throw her another bag of chips from where she laid on his bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck Befana?” Marinette squeaked. “And <em> kill </em>Weredad?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I’d marry Weredad and kill Kung Food.” Adrien tossed Alya her chips and leaned back down onto the couch. “Weredad would protect me <em> and </em>bake for me. He’s a package deal.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m with Alya because Marinette’s mom would still be alive and baking, and Kung Food won that cooking competition,” Nino said.</p><p> </p><p>“So we’re all fucking my grandma?”</p><p> </p><p>The boys made some noncommittal murmurings of, “Yeah, sure,” and “Out of the three…” </p><p> </p><p>“She rides a <em> motorcycle</em>,” Alya said through a mouthful of chips. </p><p> </p><p>“Fine,” Marinette said. “Anansi, The Bubbler, and The Collector.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck Anansi,” Nino and Adrien started in unison, earning them both a pillow to the face from Alya.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to use the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” Marinette stood up from her spot at the end of Adrien’s bed. She closed the door on the beginning of an argument over whether or not The Bubbler was marriage material. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Okay. A little processing to do. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She had her first dream about Chat Blanc in months. She <em> knew </em> she wasn’t over it, but nothing hurt like seeing him again, remembering how long he must have been there, all alone, waiting. How she must have loved him back to give him that kind of hope. How hungry and tired Plagg must have been. How badly Chat wanted to fix everything. </p><p> </p><p>Her heart broke for him more completely than anything else in her life ever did that day. Every day after it, too. The hope in those damn eyes whenever they mentioned revealing themselves or something personal about their lives. She didn’t put the pain of Chat Blanc on him years ago, she wouldn’t now.</p><p> </p><p>Which also meant staying like this until Hawk Moth couldn’t hurt them any more. </p><p> </p><p>A quiet little voice in the back of her head had already connected dots that the rest of her didn’t dare acknowledge. She broke up with Luka because she didn’t love him, but also because she wanted to begin to take a more offense-heavy approach to fighting Hawk Moth. Beating Hawk Moth meant she could safely reveal herself to Chat.</p><p> </p><p>Somehow, though, doing this had made them fall in love years ago, and not only did Chat still love Ladybug, but he seemed to be testing the waters with Marinette, too. </p><p> </p><p>She wanted Hawk Moth gone for every reason she should, but, <em> is it also because you want to be with Chat Noir? You want to see who he is and know why fifteen-year-old Marinette loved him so much to tell him even under the threat of Hawk Moth and disappointing Fu? </em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette resolved, with a splash of water to her face, that the answer was no. Her feelings for Adrien destabilized her relationship with Luka, even after she decided that she was going to treat Adrien the same way she would a friend. If she couldn’t get over Adrien for almost five years, as hard as she tried, how would time to come change that? She would just break Chat for the millionth time; it would be unfair and cruel and she could never forgive herself. </p><p> </p><p>Besides, Hawk Moth had proven himself to be one of the most manipulative, despicable people Marinette knew. He was up there with Gabriel Agreste (or the way Adrien had been describing him of late) and Lila. Paris could finally rest easy with him gone or arrested or even dead. </p><p> </p><p>Her leads were Mayura and the akumas. </p><p> </p><p>But that was for another time. Now was the time for leaving the bathroom and finding Alya and Nino curled up on Adrien’s bed. Marinette couldn’t tell if they were making out or not, but she very much did <em> not </em>want to know.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” she said quietly. “Are they…?”</p><p> </p><p>“God, I hope not.” Adrien looked back at her from his seat on the couch. “No sex on the bed!”</p><p> </p><p>“We aren’t having sex,” Alya muttered, obviously annoyed.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette looked at Adrien and snickered. “Teenagers, am I right?”</p><p> </p><p>“You know, back in my day,” Adrien said as Marinette climbed over the back of the couch to sit next to him, “you had to put up spikes so maligned youths wouldn’t bone in your bed.”</p><p> </p><p>“What a world we live in,” Marinette sighed dramatically. </p><p> </p><p>“Shut up!” Alya sounded as if she was going to throw a pillow at them again.</p><p> </p><p>Adrien laughed with Marinette for a moment before gesturing to a TV she hadn’t even noticed. <em> Geez, why do I always forget he’s this rich?</em> “Should we watch something while our friends <em> definitely don’t fuck on my bed?</em>” </p><p> </p><p>“It sounds like you <em> want </em>us to do it,” Nino said, drawing sounds of disgust from both Marinette and Adrien.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you’re right. What have you been watching lately?” Marinette reached for the remote, but a flustered Adrien grabbed it before she could.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, maybe we should decide first and not look through my Netflix.”</p><p> </p><p><em> Oh, it is on, Agreste. </em> “Maybe you’re right,” Marinette said, and she let herself relax back, lulling him into trust while he flipped through the catalog of TV shows, before pouncing. She flung herself across his lap and scrambled for the remote in his left hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey!” </p><p> </p><p>She was just barely too slow. Adrien’s hand flew away from her and he scooted to the corner of the couch, so Marinette got her left knee on the armrest and pushed herself up so she could snatch the controller from his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Hah!” She gave him a triumphant grin and turned to face the screen. <em> Back to the home screen, and— </em></p><p> </p><p>“Uh, Marinette?” Adrien sounded a bit choked.</p><p> </p><p>“What? Oh. <em> Oh.</em>” It clicked that she left one knee on the armrest and the other right beside him, so when she relaxed down a little and turned away from him… </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m sitting in his fucking lap!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, my God, I am so sorry.” Marinette practically tossed herself back onto the couch, a little further away this time. “Time to violate your privacy even more, I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>In his recent, Marinette saw <em> Criminal Minds, The Good Place, She-Ra </em> (Marinette made a silent note to forget about that one in case it made her love him more. It was probably what he was embarrassed of, but Marinette just wanted to crawl back into his lap and kiss him like the world was going to end), the second <em> How To Train Your Dragon</em>, <em> Neon Genesis Evangelion, </em>and, “I just finished the first season of The Promised Neverland!” Marinette practically squealed. “Alya wouldn’t watch it with me because of what happened to Conny!”</p><p> </p><p>“I can take that kind of thing when they’re older than ten,” Alya interjected. </p><p> </p><p>“Are you serious? Nino refuses to watch anything with me on principle—“</p><p> </p><p>“No, Alya just tells me when I’m not going to like something!” Nino said.</p><p> </p><p>“Alya makes sure she can always talk about her shows with you,” Adrien amended.</p><p> </p><p>“Can you believe a <em> single man </em>is trying to judge our relationship?” Alya whispered both pointedly and loudly. Adrien rolled his eyes, making Marinette giggle. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re in <em> my </em> bed!” </p><p> </p><p>“Whatever, dude,” Nino said. “You’re just jealous.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to start from the beginning?” Adrien ignored Nino, turning instead to look at Marinette. </p><p> </p><p>“No, we can go from where you are. The second half is <em> so </em>good.” Marinette pulled up her legs so they were tucked underneath her.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> She wants to live the best possible life, huh? Even she was one of us, too. She doesn’t care at all about the lives of us children! </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The TV was the only source of light in the room. Marinette couldn’t keep herself from glancing over at Adrien every now and again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What are you doing?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m cleaning the floors. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Marinette didn’t notice how close she had gotten to Adrien until her head met his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You’re good at playing tag, right? Run… and run… and survive. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>This wasn’t too much, right? Friends would obviously cling to each other during scenes like these. It wasn’t too far that his arm was around her shoulders and her hand was on his chest, even if her chest was tightening and her heart felt as if it could burst.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You can welcome tomorrow safely.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Tomorrow? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Yes, tomorrow. Stay put and celebrate, Emma. I got a notice from higher-ups. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Marinette watched Adrien’s face as the ninth episode came to a close. </p><p> </p><p>“I knew it! I knew it. There had to be something in the way like that, a reason it was just one or two people.” </p><p> </p><p>Marinette turned her eyes back before Adrien could see she had been looking at him and smiled against his arm. </p><p> </p><p>Her eyelids got heavy a few minutes into the tenth episode, and before they even reached the halfway point, Marinette was peacefully asleep on Adrien’s chest.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>and i could have written more. i probably would have been able to fit in another abba song. pretty sure every song mentioned in this chapter except chasing pavements is by abba. over my cold, dead body will i accept that adrien and marinette are not rabid abba fans deep down, just like i know that they’re both swifties. </p><p>chapter 4.5 is up on the companion work, in my arms! </p><p>don’t let the bedbugs bite - cold stone</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>chapter 4.5 is up on in my arms! not required for understanding this but an extra scene i didnt include.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To say Marinette could barely look at Adrien for days after waking up with her head on his chest and her leg in his lap would be to put it mildly. She <em> knew </em> she still liked him. She knew it, and she was still caught off guard by how hard all of her original feelings came flooding back. Every time she thought too hard about it, she had to bury her face in her hands and try not to squeal because it felt like… it felt like she was falling but she wasn’t afraid of hitting the ground. </p><p> </p><p>She ended up taking down and putting back up every photo left up of him in her room for days on end. Neither felt right. So much had changed since she first went crazy for him, and knowing him better only made everything stronger. He wasn’t just a pretty face. He was <em> amazing</em>.</p><p> </p><p>And Marinette was still dealing with the aftershocks of her breakup.</p><p> </p><p>Everything had been fine for a little while. A little more time to herself was nothing but relaxing while she still had to deal with her ever-growing list of commitments, but then everything she was ignoring weaseled its way in. Juleka and Rose hadn’t spoken to her, so Mylene and Alix ended up keeping their distance, too, and then Marinette <em> had </em> to run into Luka at the festival, and everything came falling down on her head. Half of her brain was occupied with Adrien—<em>how does he still make me feel like this? How has he never even realized?—</em>but the rest of it was on everything that happened with Luka. </p><p> </p><p>He took it <em> way </em> too well, which could have meant that he was either secretly waiting for it or he’d hidden just how much it hurt. Knowing him, knowing how terminally selfless he was, Marinette knew deep down it was the latter. The former felt too easy, like the universe would never be that kind to her, but it would also be a knife in her back to know he wasn’t happy, either.</p><p> </p><p>The universe’s cruelty was plenty present in the form of her dreams either way. So many nights she woke up in a sweat with Chat Blanc’s face in her mind since that first dream after Luka. Maybe being in a relationship drove them away because there was no way for her to slip up and make a mistake with Chat Noir, and being single brought them back, piling the fear of ruining everything on top of the fear of staying alone.</p><p> </p><p>There was an inherent emptiness to everything now that her relationship status was ever present in her mind, and, as much as Marinette hated to admit it, Chat Noir was doing the best out of any of her friends when it came to keeping her loneliness at bay.</p><p> </p><p>He’d text her good morning and good night, even if they hadn’t talked all day, though he didn’t know it was Marinette getting those texts. He’d drop in unannounced, and he even once brought her sandwiches on break at work. He knew her order, too, which was weird enough to file in the back of her mind but far from out of character. She probably mentioned it on accident, or he knew Ladybug’s order and just guessed that was what girls liked. </p><p> </p><p>She made jokes about being the brains and the brawn of the team, which, to her credit, were both a little funny and a little true, but when she thought about it, it stemmed from the insecurity of being the inconsiderate one. The boring one. Well, maybe not the <em> boring </em> one, but he kept their partnership a partnership, and she got all the credit. Chat was… </p><p> </p><p>He was nothing like Luka, but Chat Noir put a stopper in the hole she had torn in her heart without hesitation. A friendly, if flirtatious, stopper that kept all the blood and love and emotion from draining out and leaving her hollow. He didn’t ask if he had to help her, he just did. He would have done it for Ladybug, too, if he’d known the turmoil she kept hidden behind the mask. </p><p> </p><p>It was a shameful thing to admit, the fact that she was terrified of doing those things and being there for him. It felt like overstepping, as if trying to take some of the burden from him was like bursting into his home uninvited and moving his furniture around. It had always been second nature to do with Alya, Rose, Juleka, Mylene, even Alix and Nino sometimes. </p><p> </p><p><em> I guess Adrien and Chat Noir are similar like that,</em> she thought three nights after she fell asleep with Adrien, <em> I don’t know the last time Adrien actually talked to me about how he felt. I guess he probably has Nino for that. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I wonder if I could ever be that for him.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The idea was warm and cozy in her chest. <em> Maybe I should try with Chat. </em><em>Maybe I can test the waters as Ladybug?</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette knew she wasn’t going to get sleep. <em> I’m just going to check if he’s awake. If he’s not, I’ll leave. Easy as that. </em> She checked the time on her phone before waking Tikki. Not only was it almost one in the morning, but she had two ten-minute old texts from <em> CN</em>.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>why do i feel like you’re awake</b>
</p><p>
  <b>go to bed bugaboo</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Putting aside the fact of <em> how on earth did he know, </em>Marinette rolled onto her back and held her phone above her face.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> How did you know? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Are you spying on me, kitty? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>if i knew your secret identity i would not be spying on you</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What would you be doing </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>why don’t we wait to find out until i know</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I meant what would you WANT to be doing  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>does saying that i would want to kiss you cross a line?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Absolutely. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>shit</b>
</p><p>
  <b>i wouuulllldddd uhhhhhhhhh</b>
</p><p>
  <b>probably bring you something</b>
</p><p>
  <b>what about baked goods </b>
</p><p>
  <b>ooooh maybe chouquettes</b>
</p><p>
  <b>i’ve got a friend who works at a bakery and everything there is so good</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I wonder if your friend’s chouquettes are as good as mine </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>you bake?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I do!! I should bring you something on patrol this week </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Are we meeting Tuesday or Wednesday </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>wednesday</b>
</p><p>
  <b>oh i forgot you also know marinette</b>
</p><p>
  <b>she’s my baker friend and she is fucking incredible</b>
</p><p> </p><p>He meant that her baking was incredible. The thought that he would describe her as incredible did <em> not </em> make her heart skip and she did <em> not </em>bite her lip unconsciously as she smiled at her phone. No, she didn’t smile at her phone.</p><p> </p><p>He called her incredible on an almost daily basis and this was no different. Besides, if it was, she didn’t feel that way about him. Any part of her that thought she did was running away with fleeting feelings of… something. She did not have real, lasting feelings for Chat Noir. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Oh I love her </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She’s so sweet </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That sounded normal. Well, normal enough.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>hey you know what i just realized</b>
</p><p>
  <b>back when you got the miracle box she didn’t show up when chloe called all of the miraculous owners</b>
</p><p>
  <b>i thought she was multimouse back when we had to fight puppeteer for the second time</b>
</p><p>
  <b>you only gave mylene her miraculous after that</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Marinette blinked at her phone. An explanation or an excuse would have been nice, but her brain was just static. She didn’t even realize. No way he could connect the dots, though, right? Right?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>you know what she probably didn’t even get stung</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Oh, whoever was looking out for her deserved the world for that.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>i’m surprised you two aren’t better friends</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Why’s that? </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> If only you knew, chaton, </em>Marinette thought to herself.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>she’s clever like you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>you should drop by her place with me sometime</b>
</p><p>
  <b>maybe you should drop by MY place sometime ;)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I was gonna visit a friend tonight but I’m suddenly very tired idk what came over me  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Go to bed, kitty </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>i’m wounded :(</b>
</p><p>
  <b>friendly fire :(</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m serious </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You need sleep </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>if you insist, my lady</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Good night, Chat </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>night &lt;3</b>
</p><p> </p><p>In the seconds after she turned her phone off and reached over to set it down, though, it buzzed in her hand.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT there’s something i want your advice on</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> ? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> What’s up </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The little typing bubble stayed there for a few long seconds.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>actually could i call you?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Sure </em>
</p><p> </p><p>He started talking as soon as her phone hit her ear. <em> He’s just like Alya. </em> “Hey there, Bugaboo.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette rolled her eyes at the nickname and hoisted herself up so her back was against the wall. “What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s about Marinette. Well, her ex, really,” Chat said. He sounded worried, or maybe a little… angry?</p><p> </p><p>“What about him?” This couldn’t have been good.</p><p> </p><p>“It hasn’t been long since they broke up and—I’m assuming you don’t know anything about their breakup—she’s been really hurt for a while.</p><p> </p><p>“I haven’t really talked to her, that sucks. Was it mutual?”</p><p> </p><p>“So here’s the thing!” Chat said. “She definitely broke up with him. I don’t know how it went down, but she said the words and he let her go. <em> But, </em>I visited him that night and I don’t think it was as one sided as Marinette believes.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>What?</em>” Maybe she should have disguised her shock a little better, but Chat rolled with it.</p><p> </p><p>“I know! If you ask her about him, she’ll swear up and down he was the best boyfriend she could have asked for, it was just the wrong person and the wrong time, but I saw him talking to his sister and as soon as she left, he was laughing and… I don’t know if <em> celebrating </em>is the right word, but he definitely looked happy. It wasn’t enough to mention to her, so I’ve been keeping an eye on him. He acts as if he just got his heart broken whenever somebody talks to him, but I swear, as soon as he doesn’t think anybody’s looking, he’s a new person.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my God,” Marinette whispered, her mouth bone dry. “And you, ahem, you don’t know whether you should tell her?”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s the point of ruining her memories with him if they’re not dating anymore? But at the same time, wouldn’t you want to know?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know.” She didn’t know if she wanted to hear that at all. “Maybe… if he does something. I don’t understand why he would use her like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me neither. I swear, if I’m right, that bastard will wish—”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, slow down,” Marinette interrupted. “You said she broke up with him? I think if you’re right, he should be more worried about what’s coming from her. I think…” <em> What do I think? </em>“I think if she’s in the process of bouncing back, this won’t stop her, it will just make her resentful.”</p><p> </p><p>“Do I stay out of it?” He <em> really </em> sounded worried. Once again, it wasn’t <em> surprising </em> that Chat cared, it was just… she never thought he’d care like that about Marinette instead of Ladybug.</p><p> </p><p>A familiar sensation of tightness branched out from her chest and into her arms, but it was overshadowed by the chill in her bones from the idea that Luka could have been lying for years and nobody really loved her like that.</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t matter if he stayed out of it anymore. Marinette had to fight that fact back into the depths of her mind in case she blurted it out without meaning to. “If he… if he stays in her life and continues this way, um, I think that would be reason enough to involve yourself. We don’t know why he’d lie. If he’s trying to get something out of her—”</p><p> </p><p>The phone fell from Marinette’s suddenly weak hand. <em> Luka might know.</em></p><p> </p><p>It hit her like a freight train. <em> He might know I’m Ladybug and he might have been dating me because of that. How would he know? Where did I mess up? Oh God, oh fuck, no, no, it can’t be that. I can’t have messed up like that. There’s no way he knows. It has to be something else. It has to. It has to. He doesn’t know.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Ladybug?” Chat’s voice was muffled, between the phone and how far it had fallen.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette scrambled to bring the phone back to her ear. “Sorry,” she said, “I dropped my phone.” Her voice hopefully didn’t betray her, but she wasn’t sure.</p><p> </p><p><em> Tell him. Tell him who you are. Tell him, </em> urged the same part of her that always wanted to spill everything out for him. She couldn’t. She knew she couldn’t, and she knew <em> exactly </em>why not.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, okay. You’re probably right, though, as usual. I’ll keep an eye on him,” Chat said. “Thanks, milady.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” she murmured, closing her eyes to try and center everything so Hawk Moth would stay the hell out of her head. “Hey, chaton?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p> </p><p>“Get some sleep. I mean real sleep. I can tell you’re tired.” </p><p> </p><p>Chat Noir’s sleepiness came and went every few months. He’d pin in it offhandedly on work or school or maintaining his looks, and he wouldn’t even think of letting it affect his performance, but it was clear to Ladybug every time it came back in the way he spoke and yawns he hid from her. A million little things nobody seemed to notice but her. </p><p> </p><p>How convenient that the two of them had such busy civilian lives on top of everything heroism demanded. </p><p> </p><p>Chat chuckled. “If you insist. Sweet dreams, LB.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good night,” Marinette said with an unintentional smile. She took the phone from her ear and watched the seconds tick up on their call’s duration. Refusing to wordlessly do the whole “You hang up!” “No, <em> you </em>hang up!” routine, she ended the call, but cradled the phone in her hand for a long moment. </p><p> </p><p>There had to be another explanation for what Chat saw of Luka. Marinette wasn’t sure what it would be, but there was no way he tricked her like that, not when there was really no reason for him to. </p><p> </p><p>Whether she felt faint or tired or just <em> done,</em> Marinette wasn’t sure, but her plans of visiting Adrien washed away in a monsoon of thought that carried her into a dreamless sleep.</p><p> </p><p>——</p><p> </p><p><em> I’m dead. So, so dead. Here lies Marinette Dupain-Cheng, who could not be on time if her life depended on it, or, worse, her entire potential career. </em>Paris flew by Marinette as she ran through the streets, dodging dozens of pedestrians on their lunch hour in a seemingly futile effort to get to Mme. Bourreaus’s workhouse on time.</p><p> </p><p>The paper bag holding her lunch kept hitting her in the chest, swinging from where she was biting it, but it wasn’t as if her hands were free (<em>hopefully I can convince Mendeleivto let me eat when I get back</em>). One was making sure she didn’t drop the briefcase with the edited designs and her tablet, the other was trying to pull her hair ties off.</p><p> </p><p>Panting through her nose, Marinette rounded a corner and almost hit somebody when the building came into view. She burst through the door, grabbing her bag from her mouth and stuffing it into her school bag, and looked around frantically for Mme. Bourreau. The door to her office was closed and the blind was half-down.</p><p> </p><p>“Mme. Bourreau?” Marinette asked through the door as she rapped on the wood with her knuckles. Her breathing, thank goodness, was back to normal.</p><p> </p><p>“Come in, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, you’re late,” her mentor said from the other side. </p><p> </p><p>Marinette shifted the strap of her briefcase before slipping into the office, shutting the door behind her before even taking in the room. In the chair opposite Mme. Bourreau, Marinette saw when she turned, was no other than Adrien Agreste. <em> How did he get here so fast? He was just in class with me.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Adrien!” Marinette fought a wide grin down into a small smile. “I didn’t know we were working with models yet. I have all of my finalized edits, though.” She motioned to the briefcase with her head.</p><p> </p><p>“We were discussing another matter,” Mme Bourreau said. Her eyes went back to Adrien when she continued, “but we would be delighted to work with you on our upcoming line, I hope you know.”</p><p> </p><p>“Absolutely! I mean, I would be so grateful for the chance to be a part of any new work,” Adrien gushed. Marinette could see his gaze following her as she walked over to give Mme. Bourreau the case out of her periphery.</p><p> </p><p>“Good. I will see you soon, M. Agreste.” </p><p> </p><p>In the door, just before slipping out, Adrien turned and told Marinette, “I’ll tell Mme. Mendeleiv what’s going on if you don’t make it back to class on time.” </p><p> </p><p>Marinette didn’t get a chance to thank him before he was gone. </p><p> </p><p>“It is a good thing you two know each other,” Mme. Bourreau mused as she flipped the lid of the briefcase open and pulled out the papers inside. “The young M. Agreste is incredibly connected for his age, and you—” she tapped the papers against the desk to align them, “—are on the rise. Take me through your ideas.”</p><p> </p><p>“Right, of course.” Marinette took the seat where Adrien had been and scooted it closer to point out her ideas on the page. “I was thinking, there’s been a very classically French focus in the last few major lines under the Bourreau name, and of course that is still a vital piece, but what if we leaned into a Southern influence? Especially because of the parallels we can see between mode and art in different religious areas all over the continent. I was leaning towards accent florals and patterns in a style that is still distinctly French, but in a more modern way that evokes an image of Tu—”</p><p> </p><p>A bowling ball, catapulting through the window and making a hole in the edge of Mme Bourreau’s desk, narrowly missed Marinette’s face just as she leaned in to point out a detail she’d changed on one hem. She squeaked and fell back onto the floor, bringing the chair down with her.</p><p> </p><p>“I am sure your notes will be sufficient,” Mme. Bourreau said, rising from her seat. “I will review your suggestions and be in touch. Doors are opening for you, Marinette, but I understand that there is a more urgent situation for you to deal with at hand. Good luck.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wh-what do you mean?” Marinette picked herself up off the floor. <em> What’s she trying to—</em></p><p> </p><p>“I believe it admirable to lay the foundation for your future in the industry on your work instead of your previous acclaim, but this is a cutthroat business, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng. You will need to guard your secrets more tightly around these people, but I am not planning to expose  you.” Mme. Bourreau brushed herself off as if Marinette hadn’t nearly melted into a puddle on her rug. “Have a nice day, watch for my correspondence, and finish working on that suit.”</p><p> </p><p><em>You’re kidding. You cannot be serious. How… huh? </em> But within a second, while Marinette was still buffering, Mme. Bourreau had gone from the office and taken her things. Not to mention Marinette had bigger fish to fry as a second bowling ball shattered another square of the window and buried itself at her feet.</p><p> </p><p>“This isn’t good, Tikki! Nobody can know!”</p><p> </p><p>“I… don’t think she’s going to go around saying you’re Ladybug. Seems to me she wore out her conniving nature long ago,” Tikki said quickly. “I think the most important thing is that she thinks you have a future in fashion!”</p><p> </p><p>“There’s something you’re not telling me,” Marinette accused. “We will talk about this later. For now, Tikki, spots on!”</p><p> </p><p>In the suit and out of the building, Ladybug realized the bowling balls had not been thrown but rather had rolled off of a nearby roof, leaving behind channels in the tile. The street outside was littered in the brightly colored spheres, and dozens of roofs and cars showed damage.</p><p> </p><p>“I should’ve texted Chat Noir,” Ladybug muttered to herself, sliding open her yo-yo and sending him a brief, <em> “Akuma. Not sure where.”</em></p><p> </p><p>As if by fate’s hand, a loud cackle erupted a few streets over. <em> Gotcha.</em></p><p> </p><p>Surrounding the akuma, an older man dressed in red and hurling bowling balls, dozens of people laid encapsulated in bowling pins, frozen and barely visible.</p><p> </p><p>“A new one!” Ladybug clasped her hands together in sarcastic excitement. “Hawk Moth, you’re too kind to us.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am Apex Lane, and you, little lady, are going to give me your Miraculous!”</p><p> </p><p>“Looks like somebody struck out!” Chat sprung down from a nearby rooftop and deflected a ball with his baton. </p><p> </p><p>Ladybug braced herself for the incoming bowling puns. Over the course of the battle, she heard, “I’m having a ball,” “Bowled over,” and “Hard to pin down,” as the two of them dodged bowling balls and tried to free the akuma. It was far from a record with him, but they’d been fighting second battles with almost everyone from Monsieur Rat to Animan, and Chat’s corniness had been hitting walls.</p><p> </p><p>The fight ended with Ladybug and Chat Noir on a roof a few blocks from where they’d begun, atop one of the quieter parts of Paris. They didn’t need to go far to escape the press <em> (we’re doing an interview soon! They can wait until then)</em>, which meant they found themselves on a little overhang above an empty third-story apartment with plenty of time to spare.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait! Stay here, I’ll be right back. I have something for you.” Ladybug remembered the unmarked bag on her desk at home almost as soon as she took her spot next to him. </p><p> </p><p>He hadn’t moved an inch, she noticed on her return, he’d just set his head against the wall and, eyes closed, began to hum a familiar song.</p><p> </p><p>“You like Toto?” She gently dropped down next to him from above.</p><p> </p><p>“I only know <em> Africa </em> and <em> I Won’t Hold You Back</em>. I’ve got an old memory of that song.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s weird, so do I. I <em> also </em> have fresh chouquettes.” Ladybug held up the little white bag and watched, grinning, as Chat’s eyes lit up.</p><p> </p><p>“You know I love you, right?” Chat mumbled around a mouthful, having popped one into his mouth whole as soon as he got his claws on them. “Holy shit. You <em> can </em>bake.”</p><p> </p><p>“Old hobby,” Ladybug said with a shrug. “And yeah, you never stop telling me.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, like, you should apply for a job at Marinette’s family’s bakery.” Chat’s words were still muffled, because as soon as he finished one, another went in. “These are incredible.”</p><p> </p><p>“If I had time for another job, maybe, but I’m swamped.” That wasn’t a lie, she just left out the part about, well, already working there. “So are you. Don’t you have somewhere to be?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, but it’s a new akuma. I can say I got bowled to the other side of town. Don’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug shook her head. “I’ve got a friend covering for me. I’m supposed to be meeting with my boss, but she’s not expecting me back there, so all I have is time.”</p><p> </p><p>“I feel like we never have any time anymore.” Chat tilted his head back again and poured the crumbs at the bottom of the bag into his mouth. </p><p> </p><p>“We deserve a vacation,” Ladybug agreed. “Can’t Hawk Moth just… take time off? If he can wait six years to get our Miraculous, he can definitely say, ‘I’m going out of town for a month, have fun,’ right?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’d pre<em>fur </em> to see you,” Chat said, “So you’d have to patrol with me anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>“And the rest of life would keep going too,” Ladybug groaned. </p><p> </p><p>“Should we fake our deaths?”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t tempt me,” Ladybug grumbled. “I’d feel bad for my family, but, <em> damn.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“We could open a bakery, be the Tom and Sabine of some little country town,” Chat said dreamily.</p><p> </p><p>“Right, because the natural progression after faking out deaths is <em> marriage</em>.” Ladybug rolled her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine,” Chat teased. “I’ll just kidnap Marinette. She likes me better, I think, and she can bake too.”</p><p> </p><p>Giggles bubbled up from Ladybug’s throat of their own volition. “You, me, and Marinette?”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Chat said with a laugh, “Me and Marinette plus our grumpy superhero friend.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know you liked her that way, kitty,” Ladybug said between laughter.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m opening up to it.” Chat was still smiling, but he said it warily, like he was worried she’d be territorial. <em> Right. Because I’m going to get jealous of myself. </em>“I’m not sure. My last relationship ended badly, and it feels weird to go after somebody when I’m still, you know.” He gestured between them.</p><p> </p><p>“Woah, woah, woah, you never said you were in a relationship. When was this?” Ladybug turned to look at him with wide, expectant eyes. “Oh my God, was it like a year and a half ago when you stopped calling me Bugaboo?”</p><p> </p><p>Chat grimaced. “Yeah. She and I… she thought we were so alike. Everything about our lives mirrored each other, and I thought, hey, maybe she also, you know, feels like there are parts of herself she has to hide.”</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug had been planning on making a comment about her dislike of his nickname for her, but this never happened. This was her chance to give back to him, to listen. She nodded for him to continue.</p><p> </p><p>“She is exactly who she is supposed to be. Who I’m supposed to be. And it’s not a bad thing, I just had hoped maybe she knew what it was like to feel like an imposter.” Chat made eye contact with her as he spoke, something Marinette could never manage to do. “I… I thought she might be like you. It’s embarrassing. I feel like I used her and dropped her when she wasn’t what I wanted.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you’re afraid you’ll feel the same way about Marinette,” Ladybug finished. “Chat, were you happy with her?”</p><p> </p><p>He opened his mouth, and she could tell he was planning on saying yes, but it seemed to get caught in his throat before he shook his head. “I’m not… I don’t… it was more complicated than that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe it wasn’t,” she suggested gently. “I know you, kitty. You don’t use people. I don’t think you could if you tried. If she didn’t make you happy, it’s not your fault. It just wasn’t right.” </p><p> </p><p>Chat’s eyes softened, and Ladybug vaguely realized her hand had ended up between his ears and was idly playing with his hair. “Thank you,” he murmured. “So, Marinette? I have no clue what to do there.”</p><p> </p><p><em>I am giving the boy who is in love with me dating advice… about me. </em>“How long ago did she break up with her boyfriend?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think it’s been… how long ago did I give you that phone?”</p><p> </p><p><em>It’s been one month and six days. </em>“Three or four weeks ago?”</p><p> </p><p>“Then I think it’s been about a month.”</p><p> </p><p>“And how is she holding up?” <em> Poorly, but he doesn’t know that, and it is </em> far <em> from being all about Luka.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Okay, as far as I can tell. She seems stressed out, but when she isn’t at school, she’s working, so I have no clue how over him she is.” <em> Good answer, Chat.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Then I think you should ask her. Get a feel for how open she is to the idea of dating again. Stew with your feelings until you’re madly in love with her. Find out who she secretly pines over. Learn her secrets. Die alone of old age.” Ladybug felt a little bad for teasing him, but those first two were serious. Maybe the first four, but you would <em> not </em>hear her admitting that.</p><p> </p><p>“Apart from dying, I think you’re onto something.” Chat shifted forward so he had his feet on the edge of the overhang. “But I also think I need to get going. Thank you, milady.”</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug watched him drop off into the street and vault up onto another rooftop, fading into the city.</p><p> </p><p><em> Okay, what the hell did I just do? </em>In immediate hindsight, that was a bad move. A very, very bad move.</p><p> </p><p>When Marinette got back to class, her hand was the only part of her paying attention to her notes. She had <em> known </em> they were talking about her. She knew it, and she said <em> that? See if she’s cool with it and fall in love with the other part of me that still doesn’t want to date you? Set yourself up for failure? Put me between a rock and a hard place?  </em></p><p> </p><p>And by the time she got home, she wasn’t sure if she should be kicking herself or feeling proud that Chat may finally be getting over Ladybug. </p><p> </p><p>The poster of Adrien that stared her down as soon as she stepped into her room told her, <em> yeah, he’ll get over you the same day you get over me. Good luck, though.</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette hung her bag on her chair with a groan. She just <em> loved </em> making things more complicated for herself. Why was Chat even interested in her, anyway? He’d known Marinette for five years, and <em> now </em> , as soon as she gets out of a long relationship and learns that it might not have even been real, <em> now </em>was the time to say, “Huh. Maybe I should catch feelings for Marinette. Let me ask Ladybug.”</p><p> </p><p>Her grumbling was cut off by a yelp of surprise when Alya popped into her room with an, “Okay!”</p><p> </p><p>“Aah! Alya!”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry for scaring you, babe. I need to talk to you and you left school really fast,” Alya said. She climbed up into Marinette’s room and set herself at the end of the bed.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, because I have work in the bakery but I also need to go meet Rose about Kitty Section set design and we have that chem work and then I told Nino I’d bring him something to give Chris as a treat for his birthday and Bourreau wants me to—”</p><p> </p><p>Alya put her finger over Marinette’s lips. “I won’t be long. I can buy something to take to Nino tomorrow while I’m here and I’ll send you my chemistry answers.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re too nice to me,” Marinette said. “What do you want to talk about?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll cut to the chase.” Alya pulled a notebook (honestly, it looked a lot like Marinette’s journal) filled with sticky notes from her bag and held it out to Marinette. “I want to find Hawk Moth.”</p><p> </p><p>“What? How?” Marinette flipped through the pages, all of them covered in notes and photos and news clippings.</p><p> </p><p>Alya counted on her fingers as she said, “There are a few things we know, there are only so many adult men in Paris, I watch a lot of crime TV, and this would look <em> really </em>good on my resume if I decide to go into investigative journalism.” </p><p> </p><p>“And you want my help?”</p><p> </p><p>“You know Chat Noir,” Alya said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.</p><p> </p><p>“What? I do n— how would I know Chat Noir?” Marinette stumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“He visits you? Very often? I thought everybody knew about this.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought it was a secret! How come you’ve never asked?” </p><p> </p><p>“I figured you would tell me if he told you anything interesting.” Alya shrugged. “Anyway, as far as I can gather, we can’t rule anybody out if they’ve been akumatized. Pretty much everybody in the city has. Except…” She narrowed her eyes. “Mari, you’d tell me if you were Hawk Moth, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think we would be friends if I was Hawk Moth.”</p><p> </p><p>“Good, because you, Adrien, and a few other people are literally the only ones in Paris who haven’t been akumatized yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“What can I say?” Marinette asked with a nervous chuckle. “I’m very emotionally mature.”</p><p> </p><p>Alya just snorted at that. “I’m going to guess that this isn’t like Knightowl and Sparrow, and Hawk Moth is an adult man as a civilian, too. Same goes for Mayura, but an adult woman.”</p><p> </p><p>As if she didn’t know the answer, Marinette asked, “Is she still around? We haven’t seen her since—“</p><p> </p><p>“Since Miracle Queen. I’m going to guess she’s still Hawk Moth’s confidante, there’s just something keeping her from being Mayura anymore. Illness, time, something like that.” Alya reached forward and flipped to a page filled with boxes. Each had a name and a very rough sketch of that person. Marinette saw Nadja Chamack, Nathalie Sancouer, Audrey Bourgeois, a few more familiar names, and a few that Marinette didn’t recognize.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought it was Audrey for a while,” Alya said, pointing to her box, “but I cannot imagine she’d sit on the sidelines like this for three years.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me neither. Though, it would make sense if she’s spending time out of Paris, and Mayura is gone because she isn’t here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Alya frowned. “Anyway, as we learn more, could you tell Chat Noir? Putting it on the Ladyblog seems too risky but so does hoarding the—”</p><p> </p><p>The trapdoor made a loud creaking as it opened and the girls watched as Chat swung down. It was hard to tell how he was staying up there, but he hung upside down with his hands free.</p><p> </p><p>“Marinette! How do you feel about Adrien Agreste?”</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” Marinette and Alya both asked at once.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, the model? You go to school together. How do you feel about him?”</p><p> </p><p>Something about this, the frankness of his question or maybe Alya’s barely muffled laughter, made this whole ordeal mortifying to Marinette. </p><p> </p><p>“I, well, d-you, um, I mean, there’s a lot… I j— why do you, um, why do you want to know?” Marinette stuttered. The familiar feeling of a furious blush came over her face.</p><p> </p><p>“Just curious,” Chat said with a shrug. Marinette could see Alya biting her hand to keep in her laughter. “What’s so funny?”</p><p> </p><p>“You can’t tell?” Alya honestly looked like this was going to make her cry. “Head over heels. She is head over <em> heels </em>for that boy!”</p><p> </p><p>“Alya!” Marinette hissed. “You don’t just say that!”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s so obvious, though! Come on, Chat Noir, are you saying you couldn’t see it?” </p><p> </p><p>Chat looked absolutely shocked. So absolutely shocked that he hung there, stock still, before coming crashing to the ground in front of Marinette and Alya, one of whom buried her hands in her face in embarrassment and one of whom could not hold it back anymore.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you, ahem,” Chat began, clearing his throat, “are you serious?”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette didn’t take her head out of her hands, but she nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“But— Weren't you just in a… thing with Luka?” Chat seemed honestly dumbfounded, and it made Marinette feel a little better that <em> somebody </em>wasn’t able to tell all this time.</p><p> </p><p>Alya stopped laughing. “Hey, I don’t care that you save Paris. She did her damn best to get over him for Luka, and I will <em> not </em>have you thinking she’s a bad person for being in love with Adrien.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette moved one of her hands to look at Alya and give her a grateful smile.</p><p> </p><p>“In… in love?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my God.” Alya grabbed Marinette’s knee for support. “You’re Adrien, aren’t you? That’s the only explanation for the fact that you couldn’t tell. Look around!”</p><p> </p><p>“What?! I’m-I am <em> not </em> Adrien Agreste!” Chat insisted. <em> I knew that much, </em>Marinette thought with an internal scoff. </p><p> </p><p>“Just <em> look, </em> numbnuts.” Alya leaned forward and grabbed his head, forcing him to look at all the photos and posters of Adrien Marinette had on her walls. “Does this say <em> very good friends </em>to you?”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s a fashion student and he’s a fashion model! Am I this dumb?”</p><p> </p><p>“You might be, but Adrien is too,” Marinette said sheepishly. “I’ve felt like this for six years, and he’s never seen. Honestly, I’ve given up on the idea of it ever happening. I just…” With a sigh, she gestured to everything around her. “I’m doomed to love him forever, I guess. There’s no getting around it. I’m the poster child for unrequited feelings.” </p><p> </p><p>She looked at Chat’s incredulous face with a sad smile. “Maybe we both are.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, sweetheart.” Alya pulled her into a hug.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine, Alya!” Marinette said, pulling away after a moment, leaving her hands on her friend’s shoulders. “Seriously. It’s just the way things are.”</p><p> </p><p>“Marinette!” Sabine called from downstairs. “Are you coming back down?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’ll be there in a second!” Marinette shouted back. “Oh, hey, Alya, you could tell Chat about your notebook while he’s here. Don’t leave my door open.” She gestured to the trapdoor and hastily left her room, desperate for a release from that.</p><p> </p><p><em> At least maybe now Chat won’t try to date me,  </em>she thought, tying her apron around her back. </p><p> </p><p>“Welcome to Tom &amp; Sabine Boulangerie. How can I help you?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry it’s kind of all over the place! i just kept having disconnected ideas and from what i’ve been hearing, this fic is officially deviating from canon with what’s coming with season four. </p><p>characterization might be weird too because i’ve been watching a lot of the x files and while i LOVE the dynamic mulder and scully have, they are so different from these idiots. i expected to get more done over my break, and i expected it to be better, honestly, and i feel kind of shit about it, but it’s okay! </p><p>and this note is getting long, but i really, sincerely want to thank everybody that’s left kudos and bookmarked. i underestimated how much of my motivation comes from that, and i am overjoyed you like what i’ve written.</p><p>i love everybody because i love you - goldie</p><p>EDIT- besties i love luka and i started this fic with only wonderful thoughts about him and his character but GOD i want him to be canonically evil so bad. so so so bad. it would be incredible for me emotionally i would just love him as a character even more.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>it’s drew barrymore off crtl and the assumption is that she’s just listening to the album in its regular order (so prom next, then the weekend, etc, etc)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With his head against the door of his locker, Adrien could feel the mechanism through the metal more than he could hear it as it clicked. He just wanted to slip out unnoticed.</p><p> </p><p>“Is everything okay? Your performance today—that wasn’t like you.”</p><p> </p><p>Of course somebody noticed. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s nothing, M. D’Argencourt,” Adrien assured him with a smile. “Weird day, that’s all.”</p><p> </p><p>“If you say so. I’ll see you Friday,” D’Argencourt said, pulling his bag over his shoulder and leaving Adrien finally alone in the locker room with his thoughts. </p><p> </p><p>And, fuck, there were so many of them. </p><p> </p><p>Marinette? In <em> love </em> with him?</p><p> </p><p>He honestly couldn’t wrap his head around it. For years, it seemed like she just tolerated him. She barely spoke to him, she got nervous when he was around, every little interaction was awkward, or stilted, like she was anxious and would have preferred to be anywhere but in front of him. She seemed scared to initiate plans, she hesitated to out first. </p><p> </p><p>Every obvious example of her affection early on, he read as the complete opposite. </p><p> </p><p>He missed a thousand opportunities to notice how she felt, like grains of sand through his fingers, and then he had the <em> audacity </em> to consider dating her in some half-baked attempt to get over Ladybug as his tenure in lyceé came to an end. </p><p> </p><p>It didn’t matter what Ladybug said, that he couldn’t use somebody if he tried, because no matter what he told himself, that was exactly what he did with Kagami and it was exactly what he was going to do with Marinette. When Kagami committed, and when she deviated from what he wanted her to be, he left her with a shitty explanation and an akuma. She left the fucking <em> country. </em>She’d only been advocating the Tsurugis remain in France because she thought their relationship would last, and he drove her away.</p><p> </p><p>There was a case to be made, a case that had been made by both Plagg and Nino, that Kagami only loved the idea of being with Adrien. It was another piece in the jigsaw her mother made for her. More than that, their relationship was her only escape from a life he knew all too well was suffocating. </p><p> </p><p>He wouldn’t mind if she blamed him, but he didn’t blame her, even if it wasn’t really love.</p><p> </p><p>But that didn’t change his motivations. He wanted her because he wanted Ladybug, and now he wanted Marinette for what he could only assume were the same reasons.</p><p> </p><p>Were they? </p><p> </p><p>“C’mon, Adrien.” Plagg tugged at Adrien’s sleeve. “Wouldn’t this sulk-fest be better at home, over some cheese?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, okay,” Adrien said absentmindedly. </p><p> </p><p>He knew he left the locker room, saw the Gorilla, got in the car, rode home, greeted Nathalie and maybe his father, and went up to his room because he suddenly found himself on his bed, staring at the ceiling, without really thinking about that.</p><p> </p><p>The door clicked open. </p><p> </p><p>“Adrien, there are worrying gaps in your schedule of late,” Nathalie said. “I haven’t informed your father, but if there is an issue, I will not hesitate to involve him.”</p><p> </p><p>It had taken Nathalie a painfully long time to begin to hide things from Adrien’s father. Whether she’d been gaining his trust or if she simply hadn’t noticed Adrien’s misery until he was seventeen, Adrien wasn’t sure, but she became something of an ally. </p><p> </p><p>But you don’t stay working in an environment like this for a man like him for almost a decade if you have no loyalty. Maybe Nathalie was willing to let a few things slip by her,  but Adrien didn’t dare take risks with trusting the woman his father was sleeping with.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve been seeing friends,” Adrien said it as if it was a secret. “We don’t know how much we’ll see of each other after school ends. We just talk.”</p><p> </p><p>Nathalie didn’t reveal if she was suspicious or satisfied. “I understand. Get your work done.”</p><p> </p><p>Because <em> work </em> was what weighed on his mind.</p><p> </p><p>Adrien fell back with a sigh. “Plagg?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah?” Plagg said from the inside of a nearby cheese stash.</p><p> </p><p>“Marinette loves me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I got that.” Plagg, camembert in tow, appeared next to him. “Whatcha going to do about it?”</p><p> </p><p>“I hadn’t even thought of that!” Adrien ran his hands through his hair. “What <em> am </em>I going to do?”</p><p> </p><p>“Seriously? You weren’t planning to do <em> anything </em> after finding out she’s… y’know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I hadn’t gotten that far!”</p><p> </p><p>“And you can’t just ignore it,” Plagg said as he pushed upwards on Adrien’s arm. “Come on. Get up.”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien, begrudgingly, sat up and looked at Plagg. “Ladybug ignores it.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s different!” Plagg groaned. “Ladybug isn’t allowed to have feelings for Chat Noir. It’s a stupid rule she put there herself, or maybe it was Fu, but she isn’t going to <em> dream </em> about breaking it until she thinks it’s safe. <em> Adrien,</em>” Plagg gestured emphatically toward him, “is allowed to have feelings for Marinette. I thought you did.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t! I mean, I don’t think I do. A crush doesn’t count. I can’t help that she’s pretty. Or smart. Or talented. I don’t <em> know! </em>” Adrien lamented. “I don’t love her like she loves me. That’s what went wrong with Kagami.”</p><p> </p><p>“What went wrong with <em> Kagami </em>,” Plagg said, “was that neither of you really liked each other at all. This is the opposite of that.”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you know I like Marinette? How am I supposed to know?”</p><p> </p><p>Plagg sighed. “If you found out today that Alya likes you—”</p><p> </p><p>“Alya likes me?” Adrien’s voice cracked.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>No, </em> you blond. This is a <em> hypothetical</em>. If, instead of finding out Marinette likes you, it was actually Alya, how would you be reacting?”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s with my best friend! How do you think I’d be reacting?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just run me through it, kid.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, ok,” Adrien said, “It would be weird. I don’t know why she’d want that. I mean, obviously, it would be flattering, she’s great and everything, but it just wouldn’t make sense.”</p><p> </p><p>“Does it make sense that it’s Marinette?”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe a little? Plagg, seriously, I don’t know how I feel about her, and I don’t want to make her a stand-in for Ladybug, even if I<em> do </em> feel…  like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“You… this isn’t about Ladybug, dumbass,” Plagg objected. </p><p> </p><p>“It is! I still love her! Are you seriously telling me to make a move on Marinette while I’m in love with somebody else? What makes her so different from Kagami? What’s keeping this from ending the same?” </p><p> </p><p>“Trust me. Marinette is her own person. She is not Kagami. She has been in love with you for years and you have to do <em> something</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why?” </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t tell you,” Plagg said.</p><p> </p><p>“What? Why not?”</p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t matter. The two of you deserve to be happy.”</p><p> </p><p>“I feel like you’re missing the point.” Adrien enunciated every word as he said, “I am in love with Ladybug.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you have <em> nooo </em>feelings for Marinette at all. Okay. I get it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you want me to go after Marinette so badly?”</p><p> </p><p>Plagg heaved a heavy sigh. “It is so annoying watching you look at her the way you look at her and insist she’s just a friend.” </p><p> </p><p>Adrien opened his mouth to interrupt, but Plagg said, “Nuh-uh! You can’t fool me, buddy! I have seen it! I am billions of years old, and I know these things when I see them. You feel something for Marinette and it is, look at me, it is <em> completely independent </em>of Ladybug.”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien’s gaze moved back and forth from Plagg to his hands. “I don’t know what to do, Plagg.”</p><p> </p><p>“Let it mature, like a delicious cheese.”</p><p> </p><p>“A delicious cheese?” Adrien snorted. “Maybe I should be talking to Ladybug about this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please. I can tell you exactly what she would say.” Plagg cleared his throat and put on a high voice. “Adrien, you fell in love with me on purpose. You can do the same with Marinette! Spend more time with her and see where life takes the two of you!”</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds nothing like her,” Adrien deadpanned.</p><p> </p><p>“I think it sounds <em> exactly </em>like her. Besides, you’re just going to talk to her as Adrien? You can’t tell Ladybug you just found out somebody’s in love with your civilian identity, she’d just find out who you are.” </p><p> </p><p>“I could talk to Marinette,” Adrien suggested, but it hit him as soon as the words left his lips exactly why he couldn’t do that. “Shit.”</p><p> </p><p>“See? There! That is exactly what I’m talking about! You need her! You flirt with her and rely on her as Chat and you are <em> definitely </em>pretty cozy for friends as Adrien.”</p><p> </p><p>“So, what, I walk up to her in school and say, ‘Marinette! My kwami thinks I’m in love with you. I’m not sure he’s wrong, want to date me?’”</p><p> </p><p>“That is a horrible idea,” Plagg said, “It’d probably work on her, but it sucks.”</p><p> </p><p>“Give her some credit.”</p><p> </p><p>“I <em> would, </em>but, fact is, she’d do almost anything for you.”</p><p> </p><p><em> How much would I do for her? </em> </p><p> </p><p>He had to think about it for a minute, but everything he could think of, he would do. He would skip class, easily, he would stand up to his father, he would probably <em> kiss </em> Hawk Moth (any more, maybe in an absolute worst case scenario, but, ugh, he was just so old and mean). He would tell Alya who he was and watch her suffer with the knowledge her best friend was not only friends with, but in love with Chat Noir, but Marinette wouldn’t ask him to do that. He would tell her who he was if she asked him to. </p><p> </p><p>It didn’t matter what he really felt for her, none of that changed that if she really, sincerely asked to see his face, he’d sheathe his claws for her. Is that love?</p><p> </p><p>“I should visit her.” Adrien stood up. “Plagg. How mad would you be if I told her who I am?”</p><p> </p><p>“It would be the scene of the century!” Plagg exclaimed. “But Tikki would be mad at me if I let you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Tikki wouldn’t have to know,” Adrien whispered. He was just joking around, but they could probably get away with it. If Marinette could manage to hide this absolute bombshell for half a decade, she could keep his identity under wraps.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, believe me, she’d know. Somehow.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fine. I won’t tell her.” Adrien sighed, full of faux drama. That was the answer he expected, and it was probably too soon anyway, between the muddiness of his emotions and how far they were from winning the fight against Hawk Moth. “Still going to visit her, though.”</p><p> </p><p>“When I said you should let it mature, I meant as Adrien, but… whatever! What do I know?” Plagg was still mumbling, about how he knew pretty much everything, through Adrien’s transformation.</p><p> </p><p>Chat Noir couldn’t explain what made him so peaceful about landing on Marinette’s balcony and hearing the soft sounds of music coming from her trapdoor. He only knew the song because Nino had made him listen to <em> Ctrl </em>by SZA on repeat for a week a few months back so he could win a bet with Alya that Adrien knew her music. </p><p> </p><p>On opening the trapdoor, Chat could hear Marinette singing along very quietly. She was sitting on the floor, doing something with the hem of some suit trousers. Her nose was scrunched in concentration as she worked, and he watched, motionless, as she paused her singing to bite a pin so her hand was free to push her bangs from her eyes. The rest of her silky hair was pulled back into a bun; all but the little pieces that framed her face. The music seemed to slow to a snail’s pace during that moment, and it felt like he was looking at a photograph, a moment perfect and unattainable once it passed. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re woman enough for me,” Chat said with a grin when he finally snapped out of it. </p><p> </p><p>Half of him said, <em> too much, Agreste. Dial it back, </em>but the other had just been struck by lightning.</p><p> </p><p>His emotions were suddenly not muddy. </p><p> </p><p>It was all very clear.</p><p> </p><p>Love might not have been the right word, not yet, but the spark was lit.</p><p> </p><p>The fire was beginning, and, oh, it would <em> rage.</em></p><p> </p><p>Marinette jumped with a small yelp at the sight of him crouched, staring down at her. “How long have you been there? And it’s ‘warm enough for you,’ not ‘woman enough.’”</p><p> </p><p>“I just got here.” Chat jumped into her room and pulled the door shut above him.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>I’m sorry I’m not more attractive, I’m sorry I’m not more ladylike, I’m sorry I don’t shave my legs at night, </em>” Chat sang along, perching on Marinette’s empty chair. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re plenty ladylike for me, Chat,” she said. “What are you doing here?”</p><p> </p><p>“I need a reason to see you now? I’m hurt, purrincess,” Chat gasped. He put his hand on his stomach and looked at it as if it came away covered in blood.</p><p> </p><p>“If I’m this busy, yes.” Marinette turned back to what she was doing. “Oh, this stupid mannequin.”</p><p> </p><p>“What’s the issue?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve learned,” she grumbled, “if it looks fine on <em>this</em> mannequin, it’ll look awful on a person.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve got a person right here,” Chat offered. He dealt with fittings all the time, this couldn’t be any more boring (it could be very much the opposite, though).</p><p> </p><p>Marinette’s eyes lit up. “Stand there.” She pushed herself up to standing while he put himself where she’d directed. She moved the dummy aside and circled him a few times, even picking up the jacket and holding it up to his shoulders. “Oh, this is perfect, kitty.”</p><p> </p><p>Chat couldn’t explain in coherent thoughts or words he knew why that sentence sent a current through each of his nerves. He shivered a little, but she didn’t seem to notice.</p><p> </p><p>“And I can’t stab you through the suit!” Marinette set to work undressing the mannequin, which, honestly, did look a little weird, but she stopped. “Are you okay with this?”</p><p> </p><p><em> What is going on? </em> Chat nodded, using the motion to disguise his gulp. <em> Oh, fuck. Shit. Okay. Maybe Plagg is right. Damn it. Okay. We can deal with this.</em></p><p> </p><p>Chat neglected to mention to Marinette that the suit was great at keeping him from feeling anything painful, like a pinprick or a bowling ball to the stomach, but every benign, minute touch was infinitely magnified. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t know, but, <em> fuck</em>, he had to breathe very carefully when her hands ghosted down his sides. It was a familiar motion, she was trying to get a tactile idea of what she was working with. </p><p> </p><p><em> If I tell her about the suit</em>, he resolved, <em> we will both be uncomfortable. I can deal with this. I can deal with this. I’m going to be wearing a suit over my regular suit soon enough. I am her friend, and this is not weird. My realizations about her have no place here. No place. Get your mind out of the fucking gutter, Agreste.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Chat?” Marinette asked as if she was repeating herself.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“I asked if I can measure you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I know my measurements. Do you have—” Chat spotted a blank notepad on her desk and scribbled down the numbers.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette giggled. “What did I expect?” She took the note from him and held out the pants in exchange. “Wow, you are almost exactly the right size.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t know the half of it,” he murmured with a smirk, gently pulling up the pants. <em> Are you kidding me? Slow down.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Chat!” Marinette admonished. “Oh, you are gross.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m very cognizant of how well I fit into modern beauty standards, that’s all,” he said innocently.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, right.” Marinette put his arms into the shirt and reached on either side of his neck to pull it up. “Could you button that?”</p><p> </p><p>He nodded. It was a very, <em> very </em>good thing she didn’t try to button it up for him. This was all enough as is, and shit like that would go straight to the soft, honeyed part of him that was filled with Ladybug and hamster names and the future and, damn it, it was bad enough that he was recognizing all these feelings toward her so quickly. </p><p> </p><p>Realizing they weren’t new? Oh, he was done for.</p><p> </p><p>As suddenly as all the pieces were falling into place, Chat was becoming acutely aware they had all been there. He knew each of them well, he just hadn’t ever tried to put them together, and it all reminded him a little too much of everything he felt for Ladybug.</p><p> </p><p>He put on the jacket, and they didn’t really talk while she worked, except for the occasional exchange of:</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry, I didn’t really feel it.”</p><p> </p><p>He was never explicitly lying about that. He didn’t feel a single pinprick, but he <em> did </em> feel every brush of her fingertips on his wrist or his neck or his leg, every time she breathed against him, every time she had to lean into him to get something just right.</p><p> </p><p>It was one of the easiest silences Chat felt in a while. He wasn’t sure why Marinette was so quiet (well, she was still humming along to the music) but Chat was submerged in thoughts of her and them and Adrien and Chat Noir and Ladybug. Why did the web have to be so tangled? And, to top it all off, there was Luka, who by all means did not have to be leaving this kind of trouble in his wake. She didn’t even know.</p><p> </p><p>As if she read his mind, Marinette said, during an interlude while she was working on the back of the collar, “I saw Luka today.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you doing okay?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Marinette said. “Everything is okay. It’s just weird. I thought he wouldn’t want to see me, you know? Pretty asshole move to break up with somebody without warning and with no real explanation.”</p><p> </p><p>“You had an explanation. It’s not your fault,” Chat said, “and I don’t think anybody should be blaming you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Juleka is,” Marinette said sadly. “Rose is doing her best to bridge the gap, but Juleka seems pissed at me.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He’s pitting her friends against her. Can I tell her? I can’t tell her yet. I can’t be sure he’s here to stay.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“She’s so nice, I don’t know why she’d—stop moving.”</p><p> </p><p>Chat stilled. He hadn’t even been aware of his movement until she stopped him.</p><p> </p><p>“She thinks I left him for Adrien. She saw us leaving the music festival, you know, the one with the akuma? She saw the two of us leaving together, and she’s right that I’m not over Adrien—sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>Chat had flinched, but not because she’d poked him. “You’re fine. Keep going.”</p><p> </p><p>“She’s right about that, but we’ve known each other since we were little. I would never do that, and if I did, I would have told them, so I don’t really know where it’s coming from.” Marinette sighed. “Besides, Adrien doesn’t want me like that.”</p><p> </p><p><em> Yes. Yes, he does. He’s realizing that he has for a while. </em> Chat got the sudden impulse to turn around and kiss her, on the lips or the forehead or the hand or <em> somewhere</em>, as if that would banish her troubles, but he just dug his claws into the flesh of his palm and kept listening.</p><p> </p><p>“If she’d just <em> listen </em>to me… honestly, it smells like Hawk Moth to me, but she wasn’t akumatized. Neither of them were.”</p><p> </p><p>“If Hawk Moth has new powers? Sorry, Princess, I’m gone.”</p><p> </p><p>“What about Ladybug?”</p><p> </p><p>“I could convince her to quit, I think. She’s spreading herself too thin.” Chat looked up at where Marinette’s wall met her ceiling. “She’s lucky she can still be charismatic when she’s so stressed. We have an interview coming up, but I would cancel it in a second if she didn’t think we had to do it.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette was silent for a moment. Her hands kept working, and she was making her way around to the side of him. “She’s lucky somebody cares about her like that,” she said softly. “And I bet she’s grateful. I would be.” </p><p> </p><p>“She’s not super gushy,” Chat agreed. “But we make an incredible team.”</p><p> </p><p>“W-you really do,” Marinette said, taking a second to clear her throat. “What’s the interview for?”</p><p> </p><p>“We’re going to talk about avoiding akumatization. The things Paris needs to keep in mind,” Chat said. “Knowing Nadja, we might have to spend most of the interview convincing her we aren’t engaged.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette laughed at that before she said, “I just got an idea. Have you guys ever followed one of the akumas back to where it came from?”</p><p> </p><p>“Twice. To different places.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe Hawk Moth moved,” Marinette suggested. “I would say Alya and I could follow them, but we aren’t that fast.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe not you,” Chat realized, “but maybe Rena Rouge and Multimouse.”</p><p> </p><p>“Would Ladybug go for that? She hasn’t given Alya the necklace since Miracle Queen, and somebody else had Mullo a while ago.”</p><p> </p><p>“The Miracle Box is a responsibility I don’t think she wanted. She can handle it, she has for years, but that was… not a… she still has a lot of regrets left over,” Chat said. “She’s too strong for her own good.”</p><p> </p><p>“She has to be.” </p><p> </p><p>“Why do you say that?”</p><p> </p><p>“You do too. You’re the gods of Paris. It’s like everybody forgot you’re people under there.” Marinette moved to the other side of him and turned his head away so he couldn’t see her. “And I get why. Paris needs stability, it just seems like a lot to put on two people.”</p><p> </p><p>“It is, but I try not to think about it like that. I would be miserable without Chat Noir.” Chat stared down an Adrien poster. “It’s a lot of work, and I’m always tired, and I always have to make excuses, but without it, without <em> her, </em> I might be dead.”</p><p> </p><p>“I had no idea,” Marinette whispered. “I feel like we’ve had this conversation before.”</p><p> </p><p>“My opinion hasn’t changed. I could kill Hawk Moth with my bare hands, but I would have to thank him.” There was a compulsion growing in Chat to turn his head back toward her, to look in her eyes, but he could feel her centimeters from his head, hands almost touching his neck, and if that didn’t make him collapse it would probably still make her feel weird. “Not just for making me meet her.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t say anything more. Anything more, and he would accidentally let slip that he probably wouldn’t still be in school, that his father would still have him completely under his thumb, something that would make somebody as smart as Marinette stop and connect the dots.</p><p> </p><p>It was tempting to drop that hint for her. So, so tempting, but Plagg was right. It wouldn’t stay secret. The best kept secrets are the ones you don’t tell the people you love.</p><p> </p><p>“I wonder if we’d be friends,” Marinette said. “If you weren’t Chat Noir.”</p><p> </p><p><em> Don’t say “we are,” idiot. </em>“I think so. I think fate… somehow, we would.”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess it’s hard to not believe in fate when your partner is your soulmate.” The end of Marinette’s already murmured sentence trailed into oblivion, but that couldn’t stop Chat from picking up on it.</p><p> </p><p><em> My soulmate. And I’m falling for somebody else. </em>Chat kept still, but he felt like he needed to physically shake off the creeping sensation that he was doing something wrong, that just thinking about Marinette the way he did was somehow cheating on Ladybug. Somebody who didn’t even want him. </p><p> </p><p>“You think so?” It was barely a whisper, but he knew she was still close to his head. There was no way she couldn’t hear.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t?”</p><p> </p><p>“I do. It’s just nice to know somebody else thinks she’s my soulmate.”</p><p> </p><p>“Putting aside the platonic soulmate thing,” Marinette said. Chat wished they could see each other’s faces so he could roll his eyes at her. Little did she know, he’d heard the exact same line from Ladybug. “I think some people just fit, and you two do. Fu chose well.”</p><p> </p><p>“How do you know about Fu?”</p><p> </p><p>“I, uh, I-I said <em> you</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, okay. We didn’t choose it.” </p><p> </p><p>Marinette moved into his periphery, working on the lapel. </p><p> </p><p>“We were chosen. We haven’t told anybody about Master Fu. He’s still out there, but he doesn’t remember any of it.” Keeping his head still, Chat looked down at her as well as he could. “We couldn’t put him in danger like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why doesn’t he remember?”</p><p> </p><p>“Something with the Miracle Box. I’ve got no clue how it works. I’m hoping he chose to forget, because if he didn’t…”</p><p> </p><p>“Ladybug will have to forget when she gives up the box,” Marinette finished slowly. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hopefully I’ll be gone by then. Maybe I’ll forget too.” Chat smiled at the idea of being as old as Fu, blissfully unaware of <em> why </em>he loved Ladybug but still enchanted by her nonetheless. Seeing her after forgetting, and not knowing how they know each other but taking each other’s hand anyway. Spending their last few years as if they’d have the happiest, most normal lives.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette fell silent. Out of the corner of his eye, Chat could see she’d wrinkled her nose again, focused on his collar. </p><p> </p><p><em> I’m sorry, Princess, I don’t think you get to forget any of this when everything is over. </em> Chat focused on the color of her walls and let his mind wander. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>”Do not</em>
  <em> choose sides yet. It is still to your advantage to remain impartial. Both motorbikes are shiny red and both girls have perfect teeth, dark hair, soft hands.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I wonder if Ladybug has soft hands.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The hairpin turn was yet to come.</p><p> </p><p>—X—</p><p> </p><p>Françoise-Dupont’s library was, for once, perfectly silent, creating the ideal space for Marinette’s mind to run wild. Which was the last thing she needed.</p><p> </p><p>Chat had been dangerously close to falling asleep on her bed the night before. No, that was wrong, he’d been dangerously close to falling asleep on <em> her</em>. If it had been a week earlier, she probably would have let him, but he underestimated just how well she knew him. </p><p> </p><p>There was no way for him to know, obviously, that she knew him like the back of her hand, so all the little hitches in his breathing or the strength of his heartbeat when she felt it in his neck or his wrist were poorly disguised at best. She could see it in his eyes, too, he was looking at her differently. </p><p> </p><p>Why? What changed? Was it because he knew about Adrien? He hadn’t brought it up, but was he <em> jealous</em>? </p><p> </p><p>No way. No <em>way</em>. He was Chat Noir. He loved Ladybug, but he didn’t feel anything towards Marinette<em>. </em> And besides, she needed to focus.</p><p> </p><p>Right. Her chemistry work. Her textbook was open, she had her homework out, but her eyes kept darting to her planner. She’d met with Mme. Bourreau yesterday, she’d pretty much finished the suit with Chat, her parents probably only wanted her on register this afternoon, no patrol because of yesterday’s akuma… her day was almost empty. It felt wrong.</p><p> </p><p><em> Focus! You have a test coming up! </em> Alya had tried to give Marinette her answers, but with all the time she had today (and her slipping grasp on the coursework), it felt wrong to just copy everything down.</p><p> </p><p>“Ethylene glycol, the substance used in automobile antifreeze, is composed of 38.7 percent carbon, 9.7% hydrogen, and 51.6% oxygen by mass. Its molar mass is 62.1 grams per mole. What are its empirical and molecular formulas?” Marinette muttered under her breath as she read the question. <em> Easy enough. </em></p><p> </p><p>The answers were CH3O and C2H6O2. The answers to the rest of the page were Sn3P4O12 and K5B3O7, and it all took her next to no time at all, except flipping the paper over meant looking around, which, <em> oh, God</em>, meant realizing Adrien was sitting right across from her. </p><p> </p><p>Everything in her said, <em> stay quiet! Don’t make it weird! You’re going to embarrass yourself! </em>But a little “Eep!” escaped her anyway. </p><p> </p><p>“Hi,” he said, his eyes flicking up to see her. She must have been making a face, because he started to smile and didn’t look back down at his textbook. </p><p> </p><p>“When did you—I mean, I didn’t—hi?” <em> Smooth, Marinette.</em></p><p> </p><p>“I just got here. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He was still smiling at her. <em> God, he’s so sweet! </em>“Hey, is that our chemistry work?”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette nodded, worried she’d say more nonsense. <em> I had this under control! Why do I feel like this again? I’m not thirteen. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Is it okay if I check my answers against yours when you’re done?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, that’s great! I mean, sure! I’m not sure how right my answers are, though,” Marinette said. </p><p> </p><p>“Better we’re wrong together than wrong alone.”</p><p> </p><p>It was like he was <em> trying </em>to kill her. Time slowed while she desperately tried to focus on the rest of the work, every second making her more aware of him as she fought the impulse to look at him. </p><p> </p><p>The sound of her flipping to the page of ion charges seemed to fill the whole space. Barium, plus two. Hydroxide, minus one. <em> Why is this so hard? You know what, Marinette, we’re going to pretend he’s not there. That’s Nino, and he’s going to try to get you to listen to EDM if you don’t finish this in ten minutes. You’re going to have to say you like it, and every opportunity he gets, he’s going to put on EDM around you and get you Daft Punk themed gifts for all of your birthdays until one of you dies. If you tell him you don’t like EDM, he’ll tell Adrien how you feel about him and he and Alya will sit and watch as you get your heart torn out. You can do this. Escape the techno. </em></p><p> </p><p>This worked, so well that Marinette was sort of surprised it was still Adrien in front of her.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m done. Do you want to…?” Marinette trailed off, insecure under the deafening silence of the library. It really only then occurred to her that maybe it was so quiet because nobody else was there. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” He moved to the seat on the side of the table, putting himself twice as close. “Here, I’ll get it out.”</p><p> </p><p>While he dug through his bag, Marinette looked around. It really did look empty. “Is anybody else here?” She whispered, afraid somebody would yell out something like, <em> “Yeah, asshole, keep it down!” </em> if she was too loud.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, I think so,” Adrien said when he came back up. While he set the papers in front of her, he tilted his chair back to see behind a bookcase. “I don’t see anybody.”</p><p> </p><p>He got all the same answers as her on the front, but Marinette could barely pay attention to the work. “Your handwriting is so pretty,” she said without really thinking. <em> Don’t let it be weird, please, tell me that’s a normal thing to say.</em></p><p> </p><p>“The one plus of being a slow writer,” he joked. </p><p> </p><p>“Trust me, being fast is only a good thing until you can’t read any of it. Yours could practically be a font.”</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly. It’s boring,” Adrien said. “I’d rather read yours.”</p><p> </p><p>The voice in her head that usually kept her under control, the one that was yelling at her to play it cool, was drowned out by the rest of her internal screaming. Her eyes went wide, and he just smiled and looked back down at the paper. </p><p> </p><p><em> You clueless boy, </em> she managed to think over the noise in her mind, <em> you have no clue what you do to me, do you?</em></p><p> </p><p>“Hey, I got no reaction for three on the back.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hm? Oh, is copper chloride soluble?” Marinette asked. “You know what, I can check, I have the sheet with me.”</p><p> </p><p>Her gaze, as soon as it left him, went to the opening door across the room from her. Two people were barely in the library before they saw Marinette. </p><p> </p><p>“Juleka!” Marinette shot up from her seat as soon as Juleka and Rose came through the doorway. “Can I please talk to you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Should I go?” Adrien murmured.</p><p> </p><p>“No. Stay,” Marinette told him. “Juleka! Wait!”</p><p> </p><p>Rose was still in the door by the time Marinette got over to it, but Juleka was gone. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s going to take her some time,” Rose said, watching Marinette slump against the closed door with a groan. </p><p> </p><p>“Why?” Marinette gestured to Adrien, saying, “Adrien and I are just friends! Luka wasn’t that upset, and he certainly wasn’t <em> angry </em>! If I knew what she was so mad about, I would apologize, but she won’t tell me what I did wrong.”</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean, Luka wasn’t that upset?” Rose’s eyebrows knit together. “He said he begged you to keep him and you just walked away.”</p><p> </p><p>“What? Why would he say that? That wasn’t—I cried, and he didn’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know, but that is <em> not </em> what he told us. Maybe you two have more to work out.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, Rose, wait!” Marinette grabbed the door handle before Rose could. “You should catch up with Juleka, but please, let me tell you what really happened.”</p><p> </p><p>Rose looked from Marinette to the door handle, unsure for a moment, before nodding. “How about I tell you what he told Juleka, and you tell me if anything was different on your end?”</p><p> </p><p>They ended up back at the table, Rose in Adrien’s old seat and Adrien at the end of the table, obviously unsure if he should be there.</p><p> </p><p>“Luka said that he went to meet you and you were on the phone with Alya, talking about breaking up with him.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette nodded. “That much is true.” </p><p> </p><p>“Then you said you’d fallen out of love with him months earlier and had been afraid that something bad would happen if you told him,” Rose continued, her expression growing worried when Marinette shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“I told him I was afraid to tell him because he was so wonderful to me,” Marinette said. “Hey, Adrien? Could you…”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, let me know when you guys are done.” He moved to grab his bag, but Rose stopped him. </p><p> </p><p>“Wait. I think you should know… what Luka said about you.”</p><p> </p><p>“About me?” </p><p> </p><p>Rose nodded. “He told Juleka that he made a comment about you to Marinette, who said—who <em> he </em>says said what was going on between the two of you was none of Luka’s business, that you finally chose her, and if she could, she’d go back and erase every stupid feeling she had for Luka.</p><p> </p><p>“He says that <em> you,</em>” Rose turned to Marinette, “told him to stop when he said your relationship with him was all too good to be true, but he was lucky to have it with you anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette took a deep breath. “Can I meet you outside?” She asked Adrien. With a nod, he gathered his things and left Marinette and Rose alone.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette felt like she needed to sit down even though she was already seated. “I don’t even know where to start,” she murmured. “What I told him was that Adrien had nothing to do with our breakup. I said I’d erase every feeling I had for <em> Adrien </em> if it meant I could love Luka. He told me not to make it harder, and I said the same thing when he started talking about how lucky he’d been, but he kept going.” </p><p> </p><p>Marinette tried to swallow down the growing lump in her throat, but it only made it worse. Her eyes began to prick when she told Rose, “I just broke down then. He told me he still wanted to be my friend when I asked, and he hugged me. We said goodbye, and he left first. He wasn’t crying.” </p><p> </p><p>Marinette spoke slowly to keep her voice even, even as a tear spilled down one cheek. “Why would he tell you that? Why would he lie?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know,” Rose whispered. “Can I tell Juleka what you told me?”</p><p> </p><p>“You believe me?” Marinette sniffed, and Rose just gave her a watery smile.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you, Marinette. You’d rather die than be cruel,” Rose assured her. “Of course I believed my girlfriend, but maybe Luka was wrong. I mean, what kind of person doesn’t cry when they get dumped?”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette wiped her nose. “Thanks, Rose. I hope Juleka doesn’t stay mad at me. I really miss you guys.”</p><p> </p><p>“I miss you too!” Rose pulled her into a hug over the table. “It was so nice seeing you yesterday, outside of school. I’m sorry for everything Juleka said. She’s stressed because Luka’s leaving and everything’s changing, but she’ll come around.”</p><p> </p><p>Rose let her go and pulled up Juleka’s contact to call her, but she stopped. “Are you sure you and Adrien aren’t…?”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette chucked, drying her eyes with the heel of her hand, and said, “I don’t think he has any idea how I feel about him. I’m happy just staying friends, seriously. I’ve accepted that it’s unrequited.”</p><p> </p><p>“Come on!” Rose insisted. “You’re just saying that you stopped trying to tell him. What if he feels the same way now?”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you think he’d tell me?” </p><p> </p><p>“I <em> thought </em> you would tell him!”</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t take being rejected right now,” Marinette said, “not if Luka is going to drag everything out between us. It wouldn’t be fair to any of us.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I have to go, but I think you should be open to the possibility that you’re wrong about the way Adrien feels.” Rose put the phone to her ear before Marinette could think of a response, and she left her alone in the library before Marinette could say it.</p><p> </p><p>There were people dotting the halls, but the entrance to the school was empty. <em> Weird. I guess it’s a slow day for everybody, </em>Marinette thought idly, but when she pulled the handle to open the door, a white, gloved hand slammed down on the crack between the two sides of the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Bunnyx?” </p><p> </p><p>“Listen, Marinette, I don’t have much time. Adrien is going to ask you if you need a ride. Say yes. Make an excuse if you need to. Don’t walk home,” Bunnyx said, gripping Marinette by the shoulders. They were getting to be the same height.</p><p> </p><p>“I—Okay, why not?” Marinette asked, but Bunnyx shook her head. </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, kid, I can’t tell you,” Bunnyx said, letting go of Marinette and backing up. “But I can say that you need to trust Adrien.”</p><p> </p><p>“What? Bunnyx, wait!” </p><p> </p><p>But Marinette saw the light of her burrow go out behind a pillar, out of sight of the few people coming into the entrance hall. She was gone.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i love canon luka i swear :( but i need a teenage villain and i don’t have the brainpower to use felix or lila even though i don’t think luka is secretly evil anymore. so i’m making him an asshole.</p><p>check out the note i put at the beginning of chapter one! it’s been bugging me and i don’t want it to be looked over by people who aren’t going to go back and reread. i could go on at length about this, and the way kagami is represented in canon, but i won’t, because that’s not why we’re here! </p><p>that last quote in the chat part, the “dont choose sides yet, girls on red motorbikes,” is from the first part of you are jeff by the one and only richard siken (it says boys in the original) + the hairpin turn line is a reference to that, too.</p><p>if it wasn’t for the nights i think that i could make it - sunny g</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>just changed all the chapters to be spaced like this! i asked for feedback on the spacing yesterday n i could have left the question up longer but i agree that the double space looks nicer. if you feel very strongly the other way, let me know!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Marinette found Adrien on the steps, leaning against the railing and on his phone. The sun was still high among the clouds, but it managed to illuminate Adrien’s hair like it was golden hour. She could only see a bit of the green of his eyes, but the light on them practically made them glow. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> You need to trust Adrien. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Looking at him felt like coming home. He’s grown so much since they met, tall and beautiful where he’d just been a pretty kid before. She had, too, but she didn’t grow up like that. She didn’t end up so heartbreakingly perfect.</p><p> </p><p>He spoke without looking up at her, before she could announce herself. “Copper chloride is soluble. Three is no rea—” He turned his head up from his phone. “Are you okay? What did she say to you?”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette put her hand to her cheekbone and found it was wet again. She hadn’t even known she was still crying, so she shook her head. “I’m fine. She believes me, I just can’t believe he would say those things about me, about us, it just doesn’t—I’m fine! I’m fine. I’m doing okay.”</p><p> </p><p>In the time that she blinked, Adrien had stepped forward and pulled her into an embrace. Marinette couldn’t make herself move for a moment, just trying to slow her heart down a little, but it didn’t take her too long to loop her arms around him and sink into the hug. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He smells like grape soda and lemons and… and Chat. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Marinette squeezed her eyes shut in a desperate effort to banish that thought. There were a million things going through her mind, anyway, and most of them were turning into, <em> Adrien is hugging me, and I am going to faint. My legs don’t work. Oh, wait, they really don’t work, and I’m actually fainting. Oh. Okay. Maybe I’m dying. I think I could die like this. Adrien is so warm. So lovely. So perfect. And I can trust him. What a way to go.  </em></p><p> </p><p>And then everything went black.</p><p> </p><p>——</p><p> </p><p>Marinette could vaguely hear somebody calling her name. She knew that person. She must be waking up. Why was she asleep again? Was it morning? Guess Thursday was boring.</p><p> </p><p>“Leave me alone, Chat,” she mumbled, reaching up to shove him away with her eyes closed. Her hands hit his chest, but she found cotton, not the leathery material of his suit. “What are you wearing?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not Chat,” the voice said. “It’s Adrien.”</p><p> </p><p>“Adrien?!” Marinette squeaked, sitting up so quickly that her head knocked squarely against Adrien’s. They fell away from each other groaning and clutching their heads.</p><p> </p><p>“I am so sorry,” they both said, looking at each other on the ground. There the two of them were and it was… it was…</p><p> </p><p>Marinette knew they were wearing the same wide-eyed expression, sitting on the ground in front of their school. Adrien looked like a baby deer.</p><p> </p><p>They both started laughing at once, and if Marinette had been standing, she would have doubled over, but she just rolled onto her side and clutched her midsection as she shook with laughter. She couldn’t explain why it hit her so hard. Maybe everything was changing. Maybe this felt a lot like how it all started. But she still pushed herself up and held a hand out to Adrien, resting the top of her head against his chest as her giggles faded once they were standing.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” she said. </p><p> </p><p>“What for?” Marinette could feel the vibration of his words through her hair. She could also feel the beat of his heart, and she couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like it was going as fast as hers.</p><p> </p><p>“Trusting me. You always trust me, and I can always trust you.” Marinette looked up at him. “You’re the only one who’s believed me every time, whether it was something Luka or Chloe or Lila said.” By the end of her sentence, Marinette felt like she was going to melt again. </p><p> </p><p>Adrien’s silence stretched on, his eyes locked on Marinette’s, until he murmured, “You were my first real friend here.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know that.” Marinette had to pretend like she didn’t feel like she was about to supernova.</p><p> </p><p>It was a shock that she didn’t explode when the sound of a car horn shattered the moment like a hammer. <em> The moment? We were having a moment? We were having a moment. Oh my God, what on earth, holy shit. I just had a </em> moment <em> with Adrien. Where did that come from? </em></p><p> </p><p>“You’re not going to faint again, right? Are you still feeling lightheaded?” Adrien nervously asked, turning back to her after nodding to the Gorilla.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Adrien is going to ask you if you need a ride. Say yes. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m okay,” Marinette said with a nod. “I think I was just… I don’t know. I’m pretty sure I can make it home safe.”</p><p> </p><p>“We can give you a ride, if you want?” Adrien scratched the back of his head.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Adrien is going to ask you if you need a ride. Say yes.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“That would be great,” Marinette said, and she just knew she was beaming. Why would she say no? “I hope it won’t take you out of your way.”</p><p> </p><p>“I hope it does,” Adrien told her. “My father is out of town. Honestly, if you had something you needed me for, some excuse for me to stay, I’d be grateful.”</p><p> </p><p><em> He wants to go against his father and stay with me? </em>“I’m sure I can think of—oh! Can you bake?”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien shook his head. </p><p> </p><p>“Shit. Okay, you can follow directions, though, right?”</p><p> </p><p>He nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“So it won’t be far-fetched if I tell the Gorilla my parents wanted me to bring a friend over to help us prep for a wedding order, but all of my other friends are busy, and we could use your hands?” Marinette was shocked she didn’t trip over her words at all with how quickly she spoke. </p><p> </p><p>“It wouldn’t be far-fetched at all,” Adrien said. They were both beaming, now, and Marinette didn’t know about him, but this was the fastest her heart had raced in months. </p><p> </p><p>The long car (Marinette honestly didn’t know if it could be classified as a limo. It looked like something a politician would ride in) was familiar by now. Whether the Gorilla believed her or not, he let them both out at the bakery.</p><p> </p><p><em> Be brave, Marinette! If Bunnyx is intervening, something bad is coming. Take this chance while you have it! </em> “You really don’t know how to bake?” <em> Oh, that sounds mean!  </em></p><p> </p><p>But Adrien kept smiling. “Never got the chance to learn.”</p><p> </p><p>“W-If you-Do you want to?” <em> Damn it. You were doing so well. </em></p><p> </p><p>Adrien reached around her, their faces dangerously close for a second, so he could open the door to the bakery. “No time like the present,” he said.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, pumpkin. Got work today?” Tom asked as Marinette (who was internally making a sound reminiscent of a tea kettle) ducked under Adrien’s arm to enter the bakery. </p><p> </p><p>“Bourreau doesn’t need me until Saturday,” Marinette said. “Adrien—“ she pointed at him over her shoulder. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him give her father a small wave. <em> He’s so cute. </em>“—Doesn’t know how to bake. Is it okay if we use the kitchen for a while?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure! Your mom is out meeting with somebody, it’s all yours. You kids want help?” Tom offered as if he didn’t know what Marinette would say.</p><p> </p><p>“I promise, Dad, we do not.” Marinette wrinkled her nose at him as she led Adrien around the counter. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m just glad you’re doing something other than working,” he said with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>Marinette pushed Adrien into the kitchen, saying, “I work on very important things, thank you,” before following him. </p><p> </p><p>“What are we making?” </p><p> </p><p>It was clear as day he was trying to hide his excitement; Marinette knew the feeling very, <em> very </em>well. </p><p> </p><p>“What are we doing, <em> chef?</em>” She corrected. As hard as she tried, and as much practice as she had, Marinette knew she wasn’t going to make it through this without fainting again if she didn’t give herself a little bit of authority. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t like to admit it, but the more she pretended they were Ladybug and Chat Noir, the easier it was to fall into a rhythm with Adrien. </p><p> </p><p><em> Problem is, </em> she mused, pulling the clipboard with the inventory list from the wall, <em> Adrien and Chat aren’t exactly </em> similar, <em> are they? </em></p><p> </p><p>“Uh, it looks like we are low on chouquettes,” Marinette said. <em> Stop thinking about Chat! He doesn’t have a monopoly on an entire dessert! You’re with Adrien! </em></p><p> </p><p>“That sounds great,” Adrien said, and <em> he’s already washing his hands. Oh, you’re perfect, Agreste. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Thanks. Do you want the…?” He gestured toward the sink with his head. </p><p> </p><p>Okay, so, uh, she said that out loud. <em>Merveille</em><em>ux</em>.</p><p> </p><p>No fainting in the kitchen. She was not going to faint, and she <em> definitely </em> meant to call him perfect aloud. Her body decided that if she couldn’t faint in the kitchen, she could at least blush. She couldn’t even hide it, because her hands were under the running water within seconds of the blush spreading, so she just stared down at the faucet. <em> Come on, Ladybug. </em></p><p> </p><p>“There are aprons over there.”</p><p> </p><p>He tied one on himself in the blink of an eye, and while she was reaching for a towel to dry her hands, he managed to slip another over <em> her </em> head. As if he couldn’t drive her even closer to collapse, he <em> fucking tied it around her waist for her. </em></p><p> </p><p>As soon as he was done, she whirled around. </p><p> </p><p>“Was that okay?” He asked, his brows furrowing, and Marinette had to try very, very hard not to scream or melt or grab his face and kiss the daylights out of him.</p><p> </p><p>All she did was nod and say, “Mm-hmm.” It came out squeaky to her own ears, and she just had to hope it didn’t sound so obvious to him.</p><p> </p><p>She had to confess, making him call her “chef” did make it a tiny bit easier, but any sort of nickname coming from <em> him </em> referring to <em> her</em>… to describe Marinette as overwhelmed would be like describing a ghost pepper as hot. Oh, it was absolutely true, but what a mild way to put it. </p><p> </p><p>Her dad, who was both in control of the music in the kitchen from the register and suddenly very devious, put on a playlist they both knew she had made about Adrien. If Adrien noticed the theme, he kept it hidden. Marinette, on the other hand, was incredibly aware of just how many of the songs she liked had the words, “I love you,” in the lyrics, and she could feel her heart stop when he mentioned that he liked a song or started to hum along as she told him what to do. She could have fallen over when he started to sing along quietly to Harry Styles’ <em>Adore You</em> and <em>Stupid for You </em>by Waterparks.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, hold on, you wanna keep stirring that until it’s a little cooler. Here,” Marinette told him, a ball of dough forming in each of their pans. She bit the handle of her wooden spoon so she could open a drawer and grab a thermometer. </p><p> </p><p>“Mmf,” she said (it was more a sound she made rather than a word), holding out the thermometer. “You want it to be 80 degrees. A film is going to form on the pan, too, and it will tell you when you need to check the temperature.”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien opened his mouth to say something, but the sound of a phone ringing cut him off. Marinette’s hand shot to the Ladybug phone, but the home screen was empty. <em> Thank goodness. </em>Adrien had pulled out his phone just as quickly, and Marinette couldn’t help but notice it had a Ladybug case. </p><p> </p><p>“I think it’s me,” Marinette said. Sure enough, the other phone came out of her back pocket buzzing. Luka. Oh. Okay. “Uh, is it okay if I put it on speaker so I don’t burn this?” She nodded toward the choux.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’m okay with it. You sure you’re comfortable with that, though?”</p><p> </p><p>“I trust you,” she said, clicking <em> Accept </em> and <em> Speaker.  </em></p><p> </p><p>“Luka. What’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>“I talked to Juleka. Did you get my messages?” He didn’t sound mad. <em> Is that a good sign? </em></p><p> </p><p>“No, I didn’t, I’m sorry. What did they say?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m near your house. I think we should talk.”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette didn’t know if that <em> should </em>have made her angry, but she felt her grip on the spoon tighten and her brows knit together automatically. “Look, I’m in the middle of something, but if we’re here, you can tell me why you lied to Juleka about what happened between us.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know how to handle it. I only got upset after leaving. I really wish I hadn’t told her any of that, Mari, I was just so caught off guard.”</p><p> </p><p>Her first reaction was sympathy, but Adrien clenched his jaw. <em> Adrien’s right, you know, </em> the Tikki who lived in her head whispered. <em> That’s not a real apology. </em></p><p> </p><p>“It just doesn’t sound like you, and I can’t help thinking that if you could lie to your sister, couldn’t you have lied to me?”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien had stopped stirring, so Marinette mouthed <em> don’t burn it </em>before Luka spoke.</p><p> </p><p>“I swear, I've never lied to you. I don’t think I could keep something from you if I tried. My heart was glass for you, I promise,” he said. </p><p> </p><p>“You couldn’t keep something from me if you tried, but you <em> also </em>couldn’t apologize for lying to my friend about me the two times we’ve seen each other since?” Marinette put all of her energy into stirring the pastry. “You keep doing these kinds of things, and you should have left Juleka out of this.”</p><p> </p><p>“I, well, I don’t have an excuse. I’m… not taking this well.” </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe we need to spend some time not being friends, then.” </p><p> </p><p>“No, that’s not…” Luka sighed through the other end of the line. “The breakup isn’t the problem. Well, it is in a way; you spend as much time in my head as I do, Mari. That’s the way it’s always been, but the worst part is that you lied about why you ended things.”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you talking about?” </p><p> </p><p>“I know you’re seeing Adrien,” Luka said. </p><p> </p><p>Marinette’s head swiveled to look at Adrien, who had his brows raised at her with a similar expression. “I am?” She asked. </p><p> </p><p>“Come on, Mari, I’ve seen you two together since we broke up, the light in your faces when you look at each other. I’m not an idiot.”</p><p> </p><p>“It kind of sounds like it. Nothing has happened, Luka, and Adrien honestly has nothing to do with the two of us.” Marinette pulled her saucepan off of the stove and turned off the burner, mouthing <em> check your temperature </em> to Adrien. “I’m fine with being friends. Really. But you can’t expect me to be okay with you lying about me and you can’t get so mad about something that isn’t even… that we haven’t… that doesn’t… I—you know what I mean. My personal life is no longer <em> our </em> personal life.”</p><p> </p><p>Luka was silent for a moment that seemed to stretch on for hours, even though Marinette only saw the timer on the call tick up a few seconds. Adrien’s choux read 81 degrees. </p><p> </p><p>“Keep stirring,” Marinette whispered. “I’m sorry you have to hear this.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine,” he murmured. “I’m sorry that he’s doing it.”</p><p> </p><p><em> Me too. </em>“Are you still there?” Marinette asked the phone.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, and, Mari, I… I do still want to be your friend. And you’re right, that means just being friends. I’ll back off, if it means we can stay in each other’s lives.” Marinette let out a silent sigh of relief. “I’ll see you for Kitty Section?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’ll see you then.” Marinette tapped the red X before Luka could say anything else. </p><p> </p><p>“Was your relationship like that?” Adrien asked. “No, I’m sorry, it’s none of my business. Do we add the eggs next?”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette couldn’t explain why she wanted so badly to talk about this with Adrien. No. She could. She wanted to know how they’d communicate if things ever happened between the two of them. “It’s really fine. Um, we need to wait a minute to add the eggs. I’ll go get them,” she said. “It was nothing like that. He was a good communicator. He didn’t make assumptions. I seriously don’t know what’s going on with him, but I…”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien didn’t interrupt her, even during the lull while she brought the eggs back over. </p><p> </p><p>“It makes me worry that maybe he was faking it. When we were together.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to be friends with him,” Adrien said gently. “You don’t owe that to him.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just can’t help caring about him, you know? Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he’s still who I thought he was and this is just some kind of misunderstanding.”</p><p> </p><p>“I get it. I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need to apologize. You,” Marinette said, stabbing the choux with her spoon a few times, “<em>might </em> be right.” The longer she thought about it, the more what he said made sense. Luka had just never done anything like this before. </p><p> </p><p>“Mine’s at 60,” Adrien said after a pause.</p><p> </p><p>“Mm! Okay! Egg time!” Maybe it was a tiny bit unhealthy, but Marinette had learned that if she <em> pretended </em> to be cheery, it forced her mood to brighten. “We need four total, but not all at once.”</p><p> </p><p>“One at a time?”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe you <em> can </em>bake,” Marinette said, handing him an egg. “Incorporate it completely, and then we do the same with the other three.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, chef.”</p><p> </p><p>With a snicker, Marinette hoisted herself onto the counter, being sure to grab a hand towel to put between her lap and the saucepan. </p><p> </p><p>“How are things with Anya Bourreau?” Adrien asked. He leaned against the counter on the other side of the stove, holding his saucepan in front of him while he stirred.</p><p> </p><p>“They’re great! She’s really incredible, and she’s having me help with that line we mentioned yesterday,” Marinette gushed. “Seriously, I’ve grown so much working for her. I can’t believe the way I used to do some things.” <em> Not to mention she read me like a book and promised to keep my secret. I still can’t believe she knows, but you don’t have to know that. </em></p><p> </p><p>“When I saw she wanted me on her rotation this season, oh, thanks,” Adrien said, taking another egg from Marinette’s outstretched hand, “I remembered why I want to stay in the industry. Oh, damn it, I—sorry.” Adrien set the saucepan down on the counter and bent over it, trying to clumsily dig out what Marinette assumed was a piece of eggshell with his spoon. </p><p> </p><p>Her hands busy, Marinette couldn’t cover her laugh at all when it bubbled up from her chest. “Here.” She reached over, picked it out with her hand, and flicked it across the room into a trash can.</p><p> </p><p>After a few seconds of staring abashedly at the dough, Adrien began to laugh right along with her. <em> That’s twice today that you’ve laughed like this. I don’t miss the days when you rarely did. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Bet you’ve forgotten some people can’t do the whole single-handed egg crack thing.”</p><p> </p><p>“You said it, not me.”</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t like realizing it, but after half an hour of making the chouquettes and sitting in the kitchen with him, waiting for it to finish, Marinette came to the conclusion that she was wrong about Adrien and Chat. Not completely wrong, of course, Adrien was wonderful and real and everything to her in ways Chat just wasn’t to her, but there were little things they had in common, little things Adrien did that seemed entirely Chat and things Chat had done that she couldn’t imagine anybody but Adrien doing. </p><p> </p><p>Marinette learned the hard way she didn’t have room for two in her heart, so how was Chat working his way in through the path Adrien had made? She didn’t love Adrien any less. Really, lately, she just felt she was falling for him more, so how come all the things he and Chat had in common were things she liked?</p><p> </p><p>And Chat was acting differently around her since finding out about Adrien. Jealousy made the most sense, but it also made <em> none, </em> because neither of them had feelings for the civilian part of her. It wasn’t like she could just look him in the eyes and say, <em> Hey Chat! I think I’m starting to like you, which is actually great news for you because I’m Ladybug, but it is also really bad news because it comes from my love for Adrien and you might only remind me of him. Hope you have fun with that! Also, we still can’t date, because Hawk Moth is still out there and I’m too worried about him using a relationship against us.</em></p><p> </p><p>It didn’t matter yet, though, because she was here with Adrien, and they were pulling their chouquettes from the oven, and, shit, he did a good job. </p><p> </p><p>“Wow, Adrien,” Marinette said, holding his pan up in to her face so she could look at his little creations. “These look really good!”</p><p> </p><p>“I had a really good teacher.” He gave her this look, one she’d seen on his face before, where he smiled and his eyes softened and his brows drew together but there was no worry in his face, and Marinette had to look at him only for a few seconds at a time because his smile was the summer sun and she was a scoop of ice cream on asphalt.</p><p> </p><p>“And then, you can always… could you grab that serrated knife?” Marinette put down the trays and turned toward the fridge. “I could have sworn we—there!”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette waved a container of crème légère above her head. </p><p> </p><p>“Crème pat?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s crème lé—how do you know what crème pat is if you don’t bake?” Marinette asked before gasping. “You sneaky little—! You bake!”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I swear!” Adrien put his hands up beside his head. “I just watch the Great British Baking Show!”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not what these chouquettes are telling me,” Marinette taunted, grabbing one of his and popping it into her mouth. “Actually, no, this could use some work. You know, I love Noel and Sandi, don’t you?” </p><p> </p><p>Adrien snickered. “Good for a first try, though?”</p><p> </p><p>“Great for a first try. Plus, you also…” Marinette took the knife and sawed one of his chouquettes in half. “Have…” She grabbed a spoon from a nearby drawer and scooped on a dollop of crème légère. “A cream puff! With pearl sugar, I guess, but still a cream puff.”</p><p> </p><p>He gingerly picked it up off her hand when she held it out to him and bit into it like he was afraid it would run away, but his eyes lit up when he started to chew. “That’s delicious.”</p><p> </p><p>“You had a really good teacher.” The Ladybug in her had hidden for a moment there, thanks to Luka, but now that she was back, Marinette could tease him and manage her heartbeat at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>That’s when Marinette noticed Adrien had gotten a tiny bit of the cream above his lip and to the right. <em> Don’t just wipe it off, </em> she told herself firmly. <em> Don’t be weird about it. </em></p><p> </p><p>“You have some right there,” Marinette said, pointing to the mirrored spot on her own face and felt her cheeks flush when his hand went to the left side of his face instead. “Ah, the other—yeah, that side.”</p><p> </p><p>He managed to get half of it. “Did I…?”</p><p> </p><p>“I—no, it’s ju—put y—” Marinette stammered. <em> I’m going to have to get it for him. I can do this. I can do this. </em>“Here, let me.”</p><p> </p><p>At the same time as Marinette stepped forward, Adrien leaned in and down a little so his head was closer to her level. If she hadn’t been blushing already, Marinette certainly would have then, as she brought her hand up and swiped at his lip with her thumb, inadvertently putting her other fingertips on his cheek.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He can hear my heartbeat. There’s no way he can’t. No way. Oh, shit. God, he’s still so close. His pupils are so big. He has such pretty eyes, like a sunny clearing in a forest or fresh green apples or new paint.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Am I good?” He asked softly. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re wonderf—I mean, yeah. Yeah, you’re good.” Marinette wanted to scream into a pillow. Or maybe fly. Running a marathon sounded awful, but if she ever had to do one, that might have been the moment, adrenaline coursing through her like a whitewater river. </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” he said, and he was so far away from her before she could even catch up with the fact that he had been so close. <em> What is happening today?  </em></p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, of course.” Marinette had to clear her throat and turn away and <em> stop blushing! </em> “I, um, we can’t sell the ones you’ve made. I mean, they’re not bad, we’d just have to say, ‘Somebody who didn’t work here made these,’ and people would ask, and we’re not allowed to lie, and then everybody would find out that Tom &amp; Sabine have <em> Adrien chouquettes </em>and it wouldn’t… it would be bad.”</p><p> </p><p>All of those words came out of her mouth so quickly, Marinette was surprised he seemed to have picked up on all of them. “I get it.” He nodded. “Besides, I wanted to take them anyway.”</p><p> </p><p>An unfamiliar ringtone filled the room as soon as Adrien finished speaking. “That’s Nathalie. I probably need to get going.”</p><p> </p><p>The phone call started before Marinette had a chance to ask if she should let him take it alone.</p><p> </p><p>Nathalie spoke for a moment, but Marinette couldn’t hear even a whisper from his phone, like he had it turned down in case somebody tried to eavesdrop. “No, I’m helping a friend of mine and her parents. Yes, her.” Adrien’s face was almost unreadable, his tone empty and unemotional. “Why?”</p><p> </p><p>The two of them leaned against the counter on opposite sides of the kitchen. His eyes were on the cabinet above her, straight in front of him, but her head was tilted up so she could watch his expression as he listened. </p><p> </p><p>“What kind of—” Adrien tried to ask. “I understand. Of course. When will… right.”</p><p> </p><p>He listened for a few long moments, his eyes drifting higher, slowly following lines on the wall, as the call went on.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Adrien said. He ended the call and his gaze fell back down to Marinette. “The Gorilla is going to be here soon. My father is home early.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing bad, I hope?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hard to tell.” </p><p> </p><p>Hearing about Gabriel Agreste has once made Marinette itch to dive into his genius, his style, everything incredible about the business he’d created. Once, his name and his image filled her with awe and ambition. He was synonymous with words like <em> idol </em> and <em> role model.  </em></p><p> </p><p>Now, she wanted to pursue a legal career just to watch him rot in prison for something, anything. She wanted Adrien to be free of him and his rules and expectations and his self-righteousness like they’d both thought he would be once he wasn’t a dependent. She wanted him to be able to see clearly the neglect, the apathy, the disinterest Gabriel fostered toward him. It was horrible to see the ways Adrien had been manipulated by his father over the years.</p><p> </p><p>If Adrien had told her nothing, if she had no idea what Gabriel Agreste was like, the way Adrien acted around her parents made it clear enough. He wasn’t shocked or jealous or wistful, but there was longing clear as day in his eyes when he saw them with Marinette. If she didn’t know any of the details, Marinette would still have drawn the conclusion that a good father couldn’t raise such a quietly lonely son. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll get you a bag,” Marinette said, turning to find the cabinet where the blank ones were kept. She grabbed a little soup container for the crème légère and set to work putting all of it together. </p><p> </p><p>It would have been easy to blame the feeling that came over her on deja vu, but Marinette remembered the moment that she did this last outside of work. She turned and handed the bag to Adrien, and though it was a little bigger, and they weren’t on a rooftop, the image of Chat accepting the same package the same way kept flashing through her mind. </p><p> </p><p>She tried to focus on him as they took the moment before the Gorilla showed up to clean everything up, but she was so stuck in her head, trying to wipe away Chat but only smearing him around, covering the inside of her head and her eyes. She stood outside with Adrien, and for a second, she could have sworn it was a different green-eyed blond standing in front of her. </p><p> </p><p>Any conversation slipped away from her memory, up until right before Adrien ducked down into the car.</p><p> </p><p>“He didn’t say he was sorry,” Adrien said after a minute of silence, continuing before she could ask who he meant. “Luka. On the phone. You want to forgive him, but he never apologized.”</p><p> </p><p>The car drove away, and Marinette watched the retreating shape while she realized with an uneasiness that Luka really hadn’t. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>what would have happened if bunnyx didn’t intervene will be posted in my companion work, in my arms, when it won’t spoil anything over here. go read chapter 4.5 over there if you haven’t yet</p><p>why i asked about spacing/why i’m changing it is because i (+ others) have an easier time focusing with the extra spaces (also why there are so many paragraph breaks) but i’d stuck with the way i did it in ch1 and i have 0 clue how the different spacing looks on desktop. i write, edit, and post this from my phone.</p><p>thank you for reading so far and i hope you’re liking it; it has made my march that much better. go hydrate!! - goldilocks n the sun</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Marinette hummed idly as she carried bolts of red silk and white linen through the hallway of the Bourreau workshop. It was a warm-looking building, though the only really fancy areas were on the ground floor, like the entry hall and Mme. Bourreau’s office and her showrooms. Once you got up a few floors, it was more like a well-kept home than a fashion house. Marinette had been allocated a workroom on the third floor, three stairways up from the fabric storage garage, unfortunately, but our hero was far from out of shape—it was just sometimes a little tedious.</p><p> </p><p>She used her elbow to turn the handle before pushing the door in and setting the fabric, as un-precariously as she could manage, against the wall. It wasn’t a huge room, especially with all the stuff she had to keep in there, but it had become a bit of a home away from home in the year since she’d started. </p><p> </p><p>The <em> year. </em> Marinette was still the fresh face in the building, but she was <em> also </em>the fresh face who had started as an unpaid intern and was now one of the ten people in the building Mme. Bourreau took suggestions from. Hell, she was carrying materials for a mock-up of a dress that would be on the runway under the Bourreau name in only a couple of weeks. </p><p> </p><p>If somebody told Marinette it would only take ten months for her to be working on runway fashion and not just sewing and filing and dreaming of designs, she would have thought they were delusional and subtly brought up the fact that she was thinking about starting therapy and she thinks everybody should do that, too, because you never know when your mind is getting away from you.</p><p> </p><p>She would have laughed in their face if they told her Mme. Bourreau would just <em> know </em>she was Ladybug, too. This old French building and that Russian woman held some kind of power Marinette couldn’t even begin to explain. </p><p> </p><p>That Russian woman left Marinette a million notes about the last muslin mock-up, so Marinette rolled up her sleeves and got out her cloth cutter. Before she could bring the blade down to the rolled out silk, though, a knock came from her door. </p><p> </p><p>“Adrien! What are you doing here?” Marinette couldn’t hold the smile off her face, the memory of their afternoon together warm in her head and her chest.</p><p> </p><p>“Mme. Bourreau is selecting her models for the line and I got the email to come. I figured it would be rude not to but she just made me sign the contract and sent me away,” he said, sheepishly scratching the back of his head. “Can I keep you company?” </p><p> </p><p>“Sure!” Marinette had swung the door open all the way already, so when she tried to push it further aside to let him in, her hand slipped from the edge. Before she knew it, she was falling towards the door, but his hands were on her sides and catching her and <em> how the hell is he so fast? And strong? And pretty? </em></p><p> </p><p>“Woah, you okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah! Yes. I’m okay. I’m great.” She would have loved to say she was acting bashful right back at him, but her eyes had gone wide and she heard herself say the words in all their rushed and panicked and obviously smitten glory. She could only manage so many coherent thoughts when his hands were on her waist and his face shifted from one of worry to one of fondness.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you working on?” He asked, looking over her shoulder, without removing his hands.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s a sort of jacket for one of the women’s looks. It’s not going to be the final product, but it’s <em> huge </em>that I get to work on it, even if I’m just doing the basic assembly and getting all the parts together,” Marinette explained, kicking herself as she twisted out of his grasp so she could go over and pick up one of the designs. “Oh, I actually need something else for this. Is it okay if I go down and get…?” <em>No, Marinette! Why are you leaving him alone! He came to find you!</em></p><p> </p><p>“I’ll keep you company,” he offered, stepping out of her way to the doorway, and <em> some deity is working with me. Thank you. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Great!” Marinette grabbed her lanyard and the design, just in case she had to grab anything else down there. “It’s nice to have a friend here. I mean—my coworkers are really nice, I’m just, y’know, the teenager.”</p><p> </p><p>Scrunching his face, he said, “I’m having the opposite problem. Print agencies keep reaching out because they want me for <em> underwear </em>ads.” </p><p> </p><p>Marinette snorted at Adrien;s indignance at the idea of modeling mostly nude. “It’s not <em> that </em>surprising. Look at yourself,” she said, pushing open the door to the stairwell and suddenly wishing she could close the door between them and combust in private. “What I meant is that—you… there’s… you have—you could—I…”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien, thank goodness, simply laughed, the sound (one Marinette could die happy having heard) echoing through the stairwell. “I get it. I’m irresistible,” he joked, continuing before Marinette could trip and fall down the stairs. “You might have another friend here, though.”</p><p> </p><p>“Who do you mean?”</p><p> </p><p>“I saw Juleka here. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get hired, too, but I can’t be sure.” Concerned, he said, “Have you two talked yet?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I need to talk to her today.” <em> I just hope she’ll talk to me</em>. “How long did it look like Bourreau would be meeting with models?”</p><p> </p><p>“Two, maybe two and a half hours,” Adrien said. “It was hard to tell. She didn’t seem exactly thrilled to see me, but she didn’t look mad, either.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s good, I guess,” Marinette muttered, crinkling the edges of the design sheet. “I’m glad she’s getting gigs. She deserves it.”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien fell silent for a moment, wordlessly opening the door to the basement.</p><p> </p><p>“Was everything okay with your father?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“On Thursday. You said he was home early,” Marinette reminded him. “Is everything okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I…” Adrien started. “I don’t know. He’s been in a worse mood than usual lately. I think something with his work fell through and he’s trying to keep me from taking new jobs.”</p><p> </p><p>“My offer to beat him up still stands,” Marinette tried to joke, unable to keep her brows from furrowing nonetheless.</p><p> </p><p>Adrien, thankfully, chuckled, saying, “I wouldn’t want you to get arrested for assault. He’s stronger than he looks.”</p><p> </p><p>“So am I,” Marinette said indignantly. She raised one of her arms and flexed it. “I’ve got baker muscles.” <em> Plus, you know, the whole Ladybug thing. </em></p><p> </p><p>Adrien opened his mouth to say something with a smile, but he didn’t get the chance to speak before the walls and ceiling began to shake and a rumbling sound echoed between the smooth gray walls and off the concrete floor. </p><p> </p><p>“Is it an earthqua—aah!” Marinette tried to brace herself as the shaking worsened, but her hand slipped from the wall and she found herself sprawled on the ground by the wall.</p><p> </p><p>Adrien tried to catch her, but his foot slipped on the runner rug. Just in time, Marinette rolled onto her back and braced her hands in front of her to stop his fall. He managed to catch the wall as he hit her hands, so they were both holding him up, only inches above her. She could see both of their chests rising and falling, but Marinette didn’t have a good explanation as to why the tremors would leave them breathing so heavily.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t get a chance to wonder, only a second to think that maybe it was their proximity to each other, before another wave shook a shelving unit with boxes labeled “DYE” and “THREAD” not far from them. For a moment, Marinette watched in terror as it started to tip towards Adrien’s back. The fear that surged in inhibited the part of her that thought things through, she would guess, because there was no thought other than, “I need to stop this,” when her leg slipped behind his knees and her grasp migrated to his shoulders so she could flip them over.</p><p> </p><p>"<em>Marinette! </em>” </p><p> </p><p>It was her reckless side’s time to shine. The shelving unit crashed down onto her back with a thud and the sound of dye bottles shattering just as she got a confused Adrien under her, and even as they pressed together and her head slotted in over his shoulder, all Marinette’s mind could focus on how that hurt <em> so </em>much worse than she had anticipated.</p><p> </p><p>There was no breath at all left in her. There was a soreness and a ripping pain all at once, spiraling out from the points of impact on her back through her chest and shoulders and hips, and the vacuum in her lungs didn’t help. She wasn’t sure if the edge of the shelves had cut her until she felt dye dripping onto her back and settling into where her skin had broken with all the sting of alcohol and chemicals. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh God, Marinette, are you okay?” Adrien’s voice was muted by the roar of blood in her ears and the unrelenting rumble, but she heard his panicked tone and nodded against him as best she could. One of his hands was trapped under her, but Marinette could feel the other pushing the shelves off of her in his hurried alarm. “Say something, please.”</p><p> </p><p>When he got it off her, the relief of being free of it almost negated the ache soaking through her muscles. With a cough, she got the breath back into her lungs, and when she tried to push herself back up, but he was already supporting her, propping himself up using the wall and helping her hold herself up at the same time. The ground still shook under them when he said, “Please tell me you’re alright.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m—fuck—I’m fine, I promise. Don’t worry about me,” Marinette gritted out.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t help it,” Adrien said. “You keep getting yourself hurt. Why would you do that?”</p><p> </p><p>Marinette inhaled sharply, wincing, when his fingertips grazed one of the cuts made in her back. “I didn’t want to ruin your underwear modeling opportunities,” she snarked half-heartedly.</p><p> </p><p>His snort was humorless, more an acknowledgement of her joke than acceptance of her reasoning. “We need to get out of here. I think it’s an akuma.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think you’re right. Could you help m—eep!” </p><p> </p><p>More quickly than Marinette could register, Adrien slipped out to the side of her and pulled her up into a firefighter carry as he stood, carefully avoiding her back and clasping their hands together over his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me, this is quicker,” Adrien promised. “I don’t want you in harm’s way.”</p><p> </p><p>The growing feeling of warmth in her chest, fighting with the pain, told her to let this happen, but this was the second time in only a few weeks he’d helped her like this. Just because she was Marinette rather than Ladybug didn’t mean she was helpless. “I can still walk, you know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know, I just…” There was something in his voice Marinette couldn’t pin down. The stairwell was empty of any falling hazards, so he set her down, her side to the wall, and crouched so their faces were aligned. The light hit his eyes just right, green glowing back at her, brows furrowed, and Marinette couldn’t keep her hand in her lap. The softness of the skin of his cheekbone and of his gaze pulled her mind from the pain of her back. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Kiss me. Oh, please, don’t look at me like that and leave me here without proof that I haven’t been completely imagining things. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t what she’d exactly meant, but the kiss he pressed to her palm, the one she’d rested on his face, still shot through her, from her hand through her arm to her heart.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be back with help, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Shaking her head, Marinette insisted, “No, get out of here. I will be fine, I <em> promise </em>. Ladybug will throw her Lucky Charm and I’ll be good as new.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t want to just leave you here.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not going to die,” Marinette said. “I’m not even going to bruise.”</p><p> </p><p>“I…” Adrien searched her eyes for a moment that felt like an hour. At some point, his palms found a home on her cheeks, the feeling tingly and warm and like home. There were a thousand shades of green in the thin ring of iris around his pupils, deep and black and massive.</p><p> </p><p>—X—</p><p> </p><p>Adrien’s heart took over for his brain in that moment, refusing to let a single thought make its way through his head. His body, his hands, his head, his lips, moved of their own accord.</p><p> </p><p>Before he could stop himself, his eyes were shut and his mouth was on hers and his chest was so full of feeling that it honestly could have burst. It took her a second to start kissing him back, and <em> fuck, I should have asked. I just kissed her out of nowhere. What if she doesn’t really want this? </em></p><p> </p><p>It took all his might to pull himself from her magnetism. Every ounce of willpower went into parting them, because Adrien couldn’t imagine anything ever feeling more right in that moment than their lips slotting over each other’s, her fists pulling him in by the shirt. They could have been glowing as if they were the sun. They could have been floating, leaving the stairs behind, and he wouldn’t have doubted it for a second. There was magic there.</p><p> </p><p>But he had to rip himself away, because no magic could win against the guilt that mounted in his gut, and it only made everything worse. Blue eyes opened to look at him, and he had to watch them shine with love and darken under the shadows of confusion of betrayal when she read his face, which he could only assume was giving his anxieties away, all while devastatingly aware of how much they looked like Ladybug’s. </p><p> </p><p>“Adrien, what’s—?”</p><p> </p><p>“I have to go.” His voice sounded unfamiliar to his own ears, dark and confused and cold, and he had to fight to keep his face from screwing up, not even sure if it was working. “God, I’m so sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>He tried to get away as quickly as he could, transform, go and make some sad attempt to look his lady in the eye knowing he’d hurt somebody he cared about over feelings he thought he was over, but Marinette caught his wrist before he could round the corner on the landing. </p><p> </p><p><em> Look at her. You owe her that much</em>.</p><p> </p><p>But it broke his heart. It shattered it into a million pieces when he looked down at her and saw only pain in her face, agony, even, from the amalgamation of his rejection and the wounds left on her back. </p><p> </p><p>“I guess you know how I feel about you,” she murmured, barely audible over the rumbling of the earth. Adrien may as well have died right there, with the itching feeling that he’d ruined everything between them until the day their hearts stopped beating. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to get you help.”</p><p> </p><p>Her hand fell from him, and he could have killed somebody if it meant that motion was an angry one. He could live with her anger, but not her sadness or the echoes of her sniffling he could hear distantly as he ran up the stairs. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay, what the hell was that?” Plagg stopped Adrien before he could turn the handle of the door to the ground floor. </p><p> </p><p>“Trust me,” Adrien grumbled, “I know no better than you. Plagg, claws out.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re hopeless,” Plagg said as he got sucked into the ring and the suit rippled out over Adrien’s body. </p><p> </p><p>“You bring my life down,” a voice howled from another room, “and I’ll have yours fall at your feet too.”</p><p> </p><p><em> The akuma. </em>Chat sprinted in the direction of the shouting and found most of the models in the casting hall, pressed against the wall furthest from the windows. The akuma, a tall man of marble, like a Roman statue in modern clothing, paced the black floor, every step shaking the earth that much more. </p><p> </p><p>Fighting let Chat focus on something else, something other than his mistake. His baton did nothing against the stony skin of his opponent, but his vision was narrowed to just trying to inflict damage. </p><p> </p><p><em> You kissed somebody who wasn’t Ladybug, </em> a snide, cruel voice in his head cut in, <em> who you aren’t in a relationship with, who doesn’t know you know she loves you, who doesn’t know you’re Chat Noir. You didn’t think and now you’ve hurt her. You took advantage of her. Do you even really care about her? Doesn’t she remind you of— </em></p><p> </p><p>Ladybug burst into the room and leapt into action. “Hey, kitty,” she said in her usual cheerful tone. </p><p> </p><p>“Welcome to the party,” he gritted, blocking a punch from the akuma. </p><p> </p><p>“Everything okay?” Her yo-yo secured around the akuma’s ankle and brought him crashing to the ground. The two heroes leapt into the air as the akuma’s fall sent a wave of energy through the floor.</p><p> </p><p>“Where’s the akuma?” </p><p> </p><p>“Uh, I don’t… maybe the number pinned to his chest?” Ladybug ducked under a kick from her attacker. “You all,” she called to the models, “get out of here. Go!”</p><p> </p><p>“We need to get him to a smaller room.”</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug, at that moment, shoved the akuma into the wall so hard it made a hole into the next room. “I guess that works.”</p><p> </p><p>Chat tensed his jaw, following the two of them through the hole and into Anya. Bourreau’s office. He didn’t say anything more during the fight, apart from short words exchanged with Ladybug about directions and attacks and grabbing the akumatized object. It took them longer than usual, not an embarrassing amount as much as an obvious one, to snag the item, but soon enough they were watching a white butterfly flutter away into the mid afternoon sun. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Ladybug said. “Spill. What is up with you today?”</p><p> </p><p>Chat pushed past his partner, who had her hands on her hips, saying, “I have to go find Marinette.”</p><p> </p><p>“Marinette got out.” Her words stopped Chat in the doorway. “I saw her leaving on my way in. You can check on her later, but for now, I’m more worried about you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I… it’s…” His words got caught in his throat, and he could see the anxious expression on her face without even turning to look at her. <em> I forgot how in love with you I was until I realized I loved her, too. </em>“I couldn’t explain it without bringing my personal life into it. I’ll tell you about it later, okay?” </p><p> </p><p>“No, Chat.” Ladybug caught his arm. “Because you’re not the only one having a shitty day, and if you’re not going to talk about it, you can at least listen to me.”</p><p> </p><p><em> Maybe this’ll do the trick, </em> Chat’s brain-Plagg told him, and Chat could only reply with, <em> I know it won’t. </em></p><p> </p><p><em> But I have to help her if I can. </em>“Okay,” he agreed. Turning back, he noticed he was right about her face. “We should go somewhere else.”</p><p> </p><p>“Right.” </p><p> </p><p>Chat followed Ladybug out the window and over dozens of Paris rooftops. They finally found somewhere, a flat, isolated roof above a storefront, and with their backs pressed together, Ladybug spoke.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m still in love with that boy.” She tilted her head back onto his shoulder so she could look up at the sky. “I figured, if he hasn’t been able to tell, he never will, you know? It only got easier to be around him as time went on, but my feelings… they never changed. I got to know him better, and I feel like now I know… I felt like I knew for certain I had finally fallen in love with the real him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Has something happened?” Chat asked quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“He knows,” she whispered, as if it was devastating news. “I don’t know how long he has, but he figured it out, and I’m starting to worry that every time he’s given me reason to think he returned my feelings recently has been fake. And I, um, I’m so sorry for not telling you but I was in a relationship with a different person for a few years until just a little while ago. And he—our relationship was perfect in almost every way. He did everything right. Too right.”</p><p> </p><p>Chat could feel the muscles of her back tense behind him. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m pretty sure he was using me.” She picked her head up and Chat could feel her back rounding as she pulled her knees to her chest. “I spent a long time worrying so much I was using him because I wanted a relationship with a person who let me have secrets that I didn’t even notice he might be playing me, and now, this other boy, the one I love, he—I think he might be taking advantage of me, too.”</p><p> </p><p>“That jackass,” Chat growled, not really thinking before he spoke. He wasn’t entirely sure, either, if he was only talking about the idiot who couldn’t see that somebody like Ladybug was in front of him, or if he meant himself. </p><p> </p><p>Ladybug immediately countered, saying, “No, he’s incredible! He’s the nicest person I’ve ever met, and he puts up with so much, and I can’t believe I’m thinking this way about him but he’s just being so… so <em> confusing </em>.” She let out a muffled sigh into some part of her, maybe her elbow or her knees, and murmured, “Besides, even if I’m projecting my insecurities about L-my last boyfriend and he’s not toying with me, he still totally rejected me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, God, Bug, I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I—it feels silly to cry about this to you when I reject you every day. I’m so sorry for that. Fuck, I’m so, so sorry.” She sniffled, and if pink light hadn’t flashed around them, he would have turned around and pulled her into his embrace.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t be.” Adrien dropped his transformation too, ignoring the fact that it would be so easy to just turn around and see her. “I’m just glad you’re my partner.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can you, uh, could you tell me about why you’re so down, then, too? I mean, you don’t have to, it just might make it easier.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, there’s this girl I know.” <em> You know her, too, but I can’t tell you that, because even if you didn’t know her you’d be able to take one look at her and think I was trying to find a stand in for you. </em>“I only realized a few days ago I have feelings for her. She’s always meant a lot to me, it just never… I never connected that maybe she could mean more, but I fucked it up.”</p><p> </p><p>“How?”</p><p> </p><p><em> I got freaked out because I can’t untangle what I feel for her from my love for you. I got freaked out and I ran away and now I just want her to hate me because I think I broke her heart and I think I deserve it. </em>“I can’t… it’s too complicated to really properly explain. I just really hurt her, and either she hates me or she thinks I hate her, and I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know what to do without her.”</p><p> </p><p>“Does she know you love her back?”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought she did, but it would make sense if she doesn’t anymore. Her ex is a fucking pain and he left her a mess and if I tell her now, I think she’ll think I’m doing what he did.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not, though. You seem to think you’re a bad person whenever we talk about your civilian life, but I need you to trust me when I say that you aren’t.”</p><p> </p><p>“But what if I like her for the wrong reasons? What if I look at her and I can’t be sure if I’m seeing her or if I’m seeing somebody else?”</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug was silent for a while, but she spoke just before Adrien could keep going. “You don’t mean that you see me. Do you?”</p><p> </p><p>Adrien squeezed his eyes shut. “I feel like I’m kidding myself when I say you two aren’t alike.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can I say something that’s going to sound harsh?” She didn’t wait for a response. “I am my own person, and so is she, and if you can’t see that, you need to step back and think about what you feel for both of us. She deserves better than being second choice. You deserve better than being second choice, too, but you can’t think of somebody like that just because you love me. Tikki, spots on. I’m not saying that you’re lying to yourself about your feelings. I’m saying you’re not kidding yourself when you think she and I are different.”</p><p> </p><p>He could hear her push herself to her feet, feel the pressure of her back disappear from his. “Plagg, claws out.”</p><p> </p><p>She walked around him and held her hand out to pull him up. “I think you should follow her lead. If you fucked up that bad, let her forgive you. If you didn’t, and she likes you that much, let her initiate.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks.” Chat used her hand to pull himself up and wrapped her into a hug. “Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I… yeah. Thank you, too,” she said. The vibration of her words against his chest felt like the most familiar thing in the world, but his heart was still divided, full of infighting and self-loathing. </p><p> </p><p>“Anybody who rejects you is insane,” he muttered. “I hope he comes to his senses.”</p><p> </p><p>She pulled back and gave him a warm smile. “Yeah, me too. I’ll see you soon.”</p><p> </p><p>Her disappearing figure leapt across the Paris skyline when she left, a red spot darting from building to building, and Chat dropped his transformation as soon as she was gone.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, what’s the verdict? Are you going to apologize? You should apologize,” Plagg said. </p><p> </p><p>“I think Ladybug is right about following her lead.” Adrien scratched the back of his head, his eyes still wandering along the horizon where Ladybug had vanished. “She probably knows better than I do.”</p><p> </p><p>“She doesn’t know better than me! You’re going to listen to a seventeen year old over a <em> god? </em>”</p><p> </p><p>“Have <em> you </em> ever been a teenage girl?” Adrien countered. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s not the point,” Plagg insisted. “I’ve known more teenagers than you have, numbskull, and even if you’re going to follow her advice, how do you expect Marinette to forgive you if you don’t apologize?” </p><p> </p><p>“How do you expect her to believe I have good intentions when her last boyfriend keeps acting like he didn’t care about her?” Adrien ran his hands through his hair. “If she wants to talk about it, I’m going to wait until she’s comfortable.”</p><p> </p><p>“But—” </p><p> </p><p>“Claws out!”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re an idiot,” Plagg groaned as he returned to the ring.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Adrien sighed, “I know.”</p><p> </p><p>—X—</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Stop thinking about Adrien. He isn’t your biggest concern. You can sort everything out with your feelings and his feelings and if he’s honest later, with Tikki, not when you’re trying to find and make up with your ex’s sister on work time.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Marinette strode through the halls of the workshop at a brisk pace, poking her head into every door and finding almost exclusively empty rooms. About half of the models had been temporarily dismissed, so they could come back in a little while for their review, Juleka included, and Marinette was trying to find her before she went somewhere else.</p><p> </p><p>She could have easily waited until her group was done. Marinette would be able to get some work done, too, but alone in the workroom she knew she would just get sucked back into a hole of thinking about Adrien and the kiss and Chat Noir and Luka and did any of them really like her? If they did, was it even the real her? Chat loved Ladybug, Luka was nothing if not confusing, and Adrien… Marinette knew Adrien was a big Ladybug fan. Was it stupid to wonder if he liked her because he somehow saw that they were one person, deep down? Provided he liked her at all. Provided he didn’t just figure out her feelings and wanted to see where things went only to realize she wasn’t what he wanted or expected. Provided he was who she thought he was.</p><p> </p><p>Ugh, no, the point of looking for Juleka was ignoring any thoughts that appeared in her head about her love life. She just had to clear the air and talk to her and—<em>there! </em></p><p> </p><p>“Juleka! I found you!” </p><p> </p><p>Juleka was looking out a window at the end of the hallway, her phone to her ear. She didn’t seem to notice Marinette behind her, she just kept mumbling to the person on the other line. Marinette figured it was probably Rose until she got close enough to catch bits and pieces of what Juleka was saying. </p><p> </p><p>“One of you is lying, and if Rose thinks it’s you, then I’m sorry, but I’m going to side with her. She’s…” Juleka mumbled something Marinette couldn’t hear from her place a few meters away. </p><p> </p><p>“Juleka?” Marinette asked, inadvertently startling her friend.</p><p> </p><p>“I need to go,” Juleka murmured into her phone. “Marinette. Hi.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am <em>so</em> glad I found you,” Marinette gushed, stepping forward and almost hugging her. She knew where to draw the line, though, and the line was four feet away. “Can we talk? I don’t like fighting with you.”</p><p> </p><p>With a nod, Juleka said, a little more audibly than she had on the phone, “Yeah. I want to know what’s going on with you and Luka.”</p><p> </p><p>“We should sit down. I think there’s a few chairs here…” Marinette stuck her head into the closest room to see if there was anywhere for them to sit and talk. “Yeah. Come here.”</p><p> </p><p>“So what Luka told me…?”</p><p> </p><p>“It was half true. I’m guessing Rose told you my story.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah," she muttered with a sigh. "I’m sorry I got so upset with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not your fault, I promise,” Marinette assured her, shaking her head. “Do you know why Luka would lie like that?”</p><p> </p><p>“I…” Juleka sighed. “I thought he wasn’t like this anymore. A long time ago, when we were a lot younger, he would kind of mess with girls from his class. I always thought he was really interested in them, but each time, he ended up making stupid excuses to cut things off.” She adjusted her bangs and glanced out the window. “And then you got together and he talked about you like you were his whole world and I thought he was finally being serious.”</p><p> </p><p>“So he was playing with me?” </p><p> </p><p>“I can’t be sure.” Juleka shrugged. “He seemed really devastated, and you two were together for so long, but…”</p><p> </p><p>”I wish he would just be straightforward,” Marinette groaned, resting her forehead against her palms. “He had no good reason to lie, but he had no good reason to keep up the façade that long if it was fake.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not… <em> no </em>good reason,” Juleka mumbled.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you—oh. Wh-I-we-it was sort of—we d—you know, we did, but—” Marinette scrambled. “You don’t... really think he would…?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t like thinking about the idea that my brother was using one of my best friends for her body either. Trust me. I’m just saying, if we’re thinking about reasons, he was either better off in the relationship or waiting for something that would make it worthwhile.”</p><p> </p><p><em> Like my Miraculous. </em>“Like sex. God, Jules, I’m so sorry you have to be in the middle of this. It’s not fair to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know.” She sounded sad rather than accusatory, but she usually did. “I should have told you, though, about the way he used to be.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay. I’ll be okay.” Standing, Marinette grabbed Juleka’s hands from her lap. “I feel worse for you. I know you two have always been close. I don’t want you to feel bad if you forgive him.”</p><p> </p><p>“If it’s true, I don’t, not yet, but…” She squeezed Marinette’s hands and looked away, back to the window. “I think he’s more complicated than this, and I don’t know how to not be there for him.” </p><p> </p><p>“Just… warn the next girl.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.” Juleka stood and nodded at Marinette before dropping her hands. “I will.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Marinette watched from her workroom window, podcast blaring, as the sun began to set. She never left her thoughts alone in her head, even when the repetitive motion of handsewing tried to lull her into letting her guard down. until the clock struck 7:30 and the realization of <em> damn it, I have the interview tonight! </em>came crashing down on her like those stupid shelves had earlier. </p><p> </p><p><em> Of all days to have, </em> Ladybug, dipping down into the street several times to give cheery <em> “Evening!” </em> greetings to citizens as she swung through Paris, thought, <em> I just have to have this one before the interview. How many questions can Nadja have at this point?  </em></p><p> </p><p>As it turned out, a lot. Mostly boring ones, or ones that let her and Chat seamlessly integrate what would otherwise just be PSAs, about their relationship or their work outside of herodom or their plans for the future, but there was one, maybe fifteen minutes in, that made Ladybug wish a second akuma for the day would burst through the ceiling and break all the filming equipment.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, I don’t know if you see your fans talking about this online,” Nadja said, leaning in conspiratorially for the cameras, “but people have been noticing a lot more solo Chat Noir patrolling during the day and at night alike, and always around a specific part of Paris, one that I won’t name in case a specific butterfly villain is watching. Now, I know you’ve denied knowing each other’s identities, but this seems suspicious to many people, myself included. Have the two of you been visiting each other’s civilian homes?”</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” Chat asked after a moment of silence. Ladybug instinctually went still, as if being immobile would make people forget she was there, because, <em> yuh-huh </em> , Chat had been visiting her civilian self, but he didn’t need to know that any more than <em> all of Paris!  </em></p><p> </p><p>“No, Chat Noir and I have no idea where the other lives.” That was a safe answer, and a true one, too. “Knowing him, he would practically live at my house if he knew which one it was.”</p><p> </p><p>Nadja and Chat, thank goodness, both laughed at her joke, and Ladybug had to pretend there wasn’t absolute panic coursing through her blood. If her identity had come out, if Chat knew who she was and that he’d been visiting her, that wouldn’t have just been the last straw. It would have been like throwing a whole extra bale of hay on the camel’s back because, screw it, she’ll snap anyway. </p><p> </p><p>They danced around the topic of Hawk Moth’s identity, making it clear to the camera that they were absolutely on the offense when it came to their adversary but disclosing their suspicions would only worsen things for everybody involved. A few names were floated, the popular guesses like the mayor and a few of the fathers of Marinette’s classmates. Mayura had effectively disappeared from Paris’s conversation about Hawk Moth, only brought up when his early actions were in question. Those first few years, when she was present, she was featured in almost every public theory, but she’d disappeared from everywhere at once.</p><p> </p><p>Nadja’s question at the end was recycled from the beginning of the interview, as if she believed they would change their mind about their relationship status halfway through answering questions about being a hero and everything they’d done in the past ten months. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know about Chat,” Ladybug said, “but my love life as a civilian is complicated enough for me. As Ladybug, my focus is on keeping Paris safe.”</p><p> </p><p>“You can say that again,” Chat mumbled into his water bottle.</p><p> </p><p>Poor Nadja likely had a voice in her ear that urged her to continue. “Anything you can let us in on?”</p><p> </p><p>“You know we can’t,” Chat said sympathetically as he set the bottle down at his feet. </p><p> </p><p>“I can say I’m a bit jealous of people who don’t have to keep secrets like ours in relationships.” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry to hear that, but on behalf of Paris, we are so grateful for the sacrifice. Thank you so much for coming on tonight, Ladybug, Chat Noir.”</p><p> </p><p>“Great to be here,” Ladybug said with a grin, shaking Nadja’s hand and suddenly overwhelmed by the thought of Adrien watching this interview and having no idea the strong, smiling Ladybug was the same girl he’d run from after she protected him from falling furniture. </p><p> </p><p>And then she watched Chat Noir shake Nadja’s hand and a very different, similarly overwhelming feeling struck her. </p><p> </p><p>Chat loved her unconditionally. Through dark and light, good and bad, he’d always been there, and she was spending all her energy on somebody who couldn’t tell her exactly how he felt even when he said he worried about her and always asked if she was okay and held her face and kissed her hand and kissed <em> her. </em>How could it be so bad that he pulled away from the kiss as if it was rancid? How could she be so far from what he wanted? </p><p> </p><p>And how did he know? How did he know she loved him? <em> I mean, I’ve always been so obvious with it, but that’s the thing! I’ve </em> always <em> been obvious with it. Why now? Why so soon after Luka? Not even really </em> after <em> Luka, really, when he insists on dragging this out.  </em></p><p> </p><p>A shiver crawled up her spine, forcing her to shake off her thoughts and flash a smile at the cameras. </p><p> </p><p>“Good night, Paris.” Nadja gave the cameras a small wave.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, we’re off!” Somebody shouted from a corner of the studio. “Let’s get everything wrapped up!”</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug fell back into the couch, squeezing her eyes shut, as she stretched both arms above her head to crack her shoulders. Only when she heard a few people chuckling did she open an eye and realize Chat had done the exact same thing right next to her. Their joints popped in unison and, with a snicker, she stood. Index pointed to the door, she leaned down and whispered, “I’ll race you to the roof.” <em> We could both use a little fun </em>. </p><p> </p><p>She leaned back to see the gleam in his eyes. “On three?”</p><p> </p><p>“One,” she started with a nod.</p><p> </p><p>“Two.”</p><p> </p><p>Before she could say three, both of them shot away from the love seat and broke out in sprints towards opposite doors.</p><p> </p><p>“Cheater!” Ladybug called teasingly over her shoulder as she slipped through her doorway. The stairwell was a blur on each side of her vision as she practically flew up flight after flight. It was a good thing nobody was trying to use the stairs, or that anybody who was heard her coming, because Ladybug wasn’t entirely sure she could stop until she burst through the door to the roof.</p><p> </p><p>“Takes one to <em> meow </em> one, milady,” Chat shouted as soon as he appeared through the other door.</p><p> </p><p>Ladybug made a little groaning sound. “That was a stretch.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” he chuckled, “I knew it as soon as I said it.”</p><p> </p><p>“And you said it pretty quickly,” she taunted, hands on her hips. “Almost as if you knew I’d be first.”</p><p> </p><p>“I have unwavering faith in you.” </p><p> </p><p>She just rolled her eyes at that and set her forehead against his chest. “You’re way too tall.”</p><p> </p><p>HIs voice rumbled through his chest. “You’ve told me.”</p><p> </p><p>“You need to be reminded. I don’t want it going to your head.” She blindly reached up and flicked his forehead gently.</p><p> </p><p>“Friendly fire!” Chat gasped, staggering away from her and so obviously holding in giggles, </p><p> </p><p>Ladybug didn’t put in the same effort. She deserved to laugh, and even if it wasn’t <em> that </em> funny, she had to grip his forearms to keep from keeling over. Chat started laughing too, pretty quickly, but that wasn’t when the line began to blur. </p><p> </p><p>It was hard to tell which lines had even existed, because she fell into him, wrapping him up in her arms, as her laughter began to feel more like sobs and her eyes began to water. She instinctively squeezed him when she knew for sure it wasn’t funny anymore. </p><p> </p><p>Everything was overflowing. Worse still, she breathed him in and all she could smell was grape soda and lemons and Adrien. Adrien, who she thought she understood. Maybe it was naïveté that made her think that, the kind she couldn’t afford, but everything was blurry and she couldn’t distinguish one piece of her heart from the next, even as she turned them over in her hands.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought I was fine earlier. I thought I could handle this."</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” he murmured. “Hey, I’ve got you.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s the problem!” She burst out into his chest. “The problem is that I’ve spent six years taking that for granted.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not from my perspective.” He leaned back a little, maybe so she’d look at him, but she didn’t feel brave enough. She barely felt like Ladybug. She honestly had to peek at her arm to make sure there were still spots there. “We’re a pair, and we always have been. I know you need me as much as I need you.”</p><p> </p><p>“But I can't need you <em>like</em> you need me. I can’t. I’m not allowed. And it’s so fucking stupid because it either turns out that somebody doesn’t want me for who I am or they don’t even want me at all, but you know me and you want me and I know you and I want y—”</p><p> </p><p>Her head shot up before she finished her sentence. <em> Oh, God. </em> She stumbled backwards. “No. I didn’t—I don’t mean… you… I misspoke.”</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t look mad, but he stepped forward as she stepped back. “You… want me?”</p><p> </p><p>“No! I mean, yes. I mean it’s too complicated!” Through her tears, she could see his green eyes practically glowing in the half-dark. “Please don’t get your hopes up.”</p><p> </p><p>“But you meant it?”</p><p> </p><p>“That isn’t important!” She insisted. “Even if I meant it, it doesn’t matter, because we can’t date, and you have to sort things out with that girl, and I don’t want anything between us to feel like a rebound after my rejection because you are without question the most important person in my life and ruining this is <em> not </em>an option.” </p><p> </p><p>Chat silently closed the distance between them, sweeping her back up into an embrace even as sons still forced themselves through her chest and out of her throat.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m serious, Chat!”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” he said under his breath. “I know too well.”</p><p> </p><p>“I should’ve just kept my stupid mouth shut.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don't want you to ever shut your stupid mouth.”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Ladybug forced their hands between them and looked up at him like he’d meant her to before. “You can’t just say things like that, because I know you mean them, and it only makes all of this harder.”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“I know. I’m sorry." His face softened. "I’m a mess. We’re a mess.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” she said with a soft, watery laugh. “Yeah, we are.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wonder if we have to be.”</p><p> </p><p>“It really seems like that, huh?” Ladybug pulled him back towards her and realized only once he stopped, when the only vibration coming from his chest was that of his voice, that he had been purring. “I wonder too. I wonder if we ever won’t be.”</p><p> </p><p>“Someday,” he promised. “Everything will be simpler someday, and we’ll still have each other.”</p><p> </p><p>“We better,” she huffed, feeling her eyes begin to dry. “I swear to God, if you die on me, or—” She pulled back to furrow her brows at him, “if you<em> leave </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>“As if I’d ever leave somebody like you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so um. writers block!!! haha... so much fun... i love not posting for multiple weeks after pumping out seven chapters in about a month. hopefully i'll have nine out quicker than eight and hopefully it'll be less all over the place</p><p>alas. here we are, and i have a non canon timeline (on purpose) that i fucked up royally (not on purpose). so i’m going to decide now that<br/>- adrien and marinette are both 18 (i might have called her 17, let’s just make it 18 from here on out) and adrien is approaching his nineteenth birthday because<br/>- they got their miraculous when they were 13.<br/>- i know seasons 1-3 canonically cover less than a year but i’m calling each of them a year, so<br/>- luka and mari dated for about two years (end of year three to beginning of year six) and<br/>- adrien and kagami dated for around a year, give or take a few months<br/>- marinette has been working (in one capacity or another) for bourreau for a year. i know i said that in this chapter, i just... cannot remember if i'm contradicting myself so i'm saying this is the actual timeline for this fic and chapter 1-7 me didn't know what she was talking about.</p><p>we can let it be muddy. that is not the important part of this story. the important part of this story is the DRAMA!!</p><p>i mean it, do not let the bedbugs bite!! - sunny :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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